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correction of short story

 
 
Reply Wed 25 Feb, 2009 10:57 am
Please correct this short story for me. Many thanks.

I heard the screeching of a motorcycle’s brakes. Then I turned round in time to see a motorcyclist falling off his machine. He must have been speeding because I heard the roar of the engine before the sound of a motorcycle crashing onto the road. He was seriously injured. He was groaning in pain. He was bleeding profusely. There was soon a pool of blood. Not long after, he stopped groaning. I was shocked. He was motionless. Maybe he had died. A short while later, a small crowd gathered. busybodies.

I quickly took out my mobile phone to call an ambulance. About five minutes later, the paramedics arrived on a motorcycle. I looked on anxiously as the paramedics attended to him. Soon I saw one of them shaking his head. My heart sank as I believe that the victim had died. About fifteen minutes later, the wail of sirens was heard. The ambulance had arrived. Two nurses heaved the body into the ambulance.

One of the police officers who had arrived about the same time as the ambulance walked towards me and asked me and another person what we had seen before the accident. I related all that I knew just as the other passer-by did, my voice quivering at times.

When I reached home, I told my mother about the accident. She told me that I should never ride a motorcycle because it was a two-wheeler, and hence the rider was vulnerable. I agreed with her and decided to give up my idea of buying a motorcycle.

The next morning, when I was reading the news, I was very sad to learn that the motorcyclist had drunk before the accident. I was sad to read in the newspaper that he left behind his elderly parents, brother and sister.

That night I had difficultly sleeping as scenes of the accident flashed through my mind. It was only at 3 o’clock that I managed to fall asleep. Fortunately, the next day was a Saturday and I did not have to go to school.




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