I'm ready to give up on school.

Well I don't know about that, hawkeye ...

I certainly would consider it worth investigating.

I doubt that the school district has as cynical an attitude as you believe. Cash strapped, they could be, but I don't believe any educator thinks in this way.

Personally, I've seen too many kids on Ritalin. At some schools I've taught in here (in Oz) kids line up at the office at the start of lunchtime for their next dose (to ensure it's taken). I can't see it's helped them much (if at all), just labelled them as "problem" kids. In just about every case I'm aware of, the drugs have been prescribed by doctors at the request of parents, as a "solution" to problems which occur not only in the school setting.

ADHD drugs aren't great for kids. The guys I have who are on the drugs are exhausted by late afternoon and have no appetite for lunch at all. Some don't seem to be able to even force themselves to eat.

A lynch mob, just because there is critique on some teachers?
Oy!

'lynch mobs' develop all over a2k, on numerous topics. It's a human thing.

Clive went on Ritalin in grade 8. He became uncommunicative and had no
appetite at all. This was kid who could disappear by turning sideways. After
about a month of freshman year, we just stopped giving it to him. At the next
IEP meeting the teachers were thrilled that he seemed to be opening up more
and speaking up in class. We never told them we had stopped the Ritalin.

Boomerang - I understand exactly what you're saying.

I was a teacher before I was a mother. But once I became a mother - that superseded ANY of my instincts as a teacher.

It's hard for me to even think of this from my teacherly stance. What keeps preying on my mind about this is that this situation is difficult for Mo on so many levels - really the LEAST of which is academic.
He has special emotional circumstances and needs. As a person - not even as a mother and a teacher- I would try to make sure those were attended to first- because I've seen what can happen when they're not. And academics don't mean **** if a kid's emotions are negatively impacted and things continue in that vein.

I couldn't make a recommendation as a teacher unless I were able to observe the class and Mo in the class in his relationships with his peers and teacher.
But as a mother, I would be focusing on my child's self-esteem and emotions.
I'd want him to be in a safe place. And damn everyone else who's telling you to make him learn how to stick things out.
He's stuck so much out already. Tell those people who think he should be a little man (at the age of seven) to mind their own business and give the kid a break.
He's seven years old. Who he is is not set in stone yet. But the longer he has to deal with feeling misunderstood and unmanageable by the people around him, the more that sense of himself will become ingrained as a part of his psyche.
Do whatever you feel is right for him. You know him best.

I just sent off a longish letter to Mo's teacher outlining what I think and why I think it. I was actually pretty nice - pointing out that I recognize the limitations of the school in dealing with this but I did let her know in no uncertain terms that I am absolutely furious about her discussing medicating Mo. I offered several possible solutions to the problems.

I requested an IEP team meeting ASAP and that I hope that we can resolve the problems.

Fingers crossed that we can get things back on track for Mo's sake.

Thank you all for your thoughts and advice. Most of all thank you for listening. You've all helped me calm down and get my thoughts in order and I really do appreciate it.

That sounds really good, boomer. Hope the meeting is productive.

Fingers crossed for you & Mo, boomerang.
Good luck!

I hope it goes well, boomer.

I hope the meeting is sooner rather than later and that it goes well.

Thanks all.

Sooooooo......

Next question:

How long should I wait for a response to my letter?

I kind of expected to hear back today -- at least an acknowledgement of reciept, or for her to mention that she recieved my email when I was picking Mo up from school but..... nothing.

You should hear something, but it'll take a while to arrange a time given all the schedules involved.

Thanks little k. I was wondering if perhaps that was what was going on -- that she was waiting to reply until she had some idea of when the meeting would take place.

Mo had a really good day at school today. He was really proud of himself for not getting into trouble all day.* I got a big thank you from Ms. Teacher so I'm thinking she might have read my suggestions on how to de-escalate Mo.

We did a cirlcle-the-wagons weekend (you're safe.... you're safe.... you're safe....) which sometimes serves as a reset button for Mo so I'm not exactly sure what caused the good day.

Mo beat me up a bit after school (not physically). I suppose it was stress relief. Once he calmed down we went on a celebratory bender -- he has to have five no trouble days in a row to get another such hour of hedonism.


*When your kid runs out of class, happy and excited, yellling "Mom! Mom! I didn't get in trouble ALL day!!!!" be prepared for backslaps and laughter.

Go Mo!

Good going, Mo!

I agree with your conclusion, Aidan. She should take him out of the school if the school isn't serving him. This happens frequently. There are many incompetent teachers.

On the other hand, there are parents who do not understand basic facts.

Fact 1-- In any class there is a median. Half of the children score above the median and half score below it( by definition). Some parents will not accept this fact, especially if their child usually falls below the median.

It is then that aidan's suggestion should come into play. Take him out to see whether he scores below the median and has "problems" in the new school. If that happens, the problem probably largely stems from the child and not the schoolS.

Go Mo and boomer too! It looks like you are handling this really well.

I wonder if an element of his improved behavior was seeing that you are now in "we're gonna fix this" mode instead of "we're going to leave" mode? Not sure how much of the latter he saw.

(Love the backslaps and laughter part -- ha!)

I hope that she takes your comments seriously, since she should know that Mo has been evaluated and is not ADD. Glad Mo had a good day.