My disturbing essay

Forums: Original Writing, Essay
Email this Topic • Print this Page

Ok, here is a small English essay. It never got handed in, so you guys can have a look. Please take it with a dash of salt - it doesn't represent me as a whole, and I was aiming for a ridiculously dramatic effect. Also, obviously no plagiarism please (don't know why anyone would want to, but it helps to be safe).

At the core of my being lies, not the cheerful and energetic boy that is displayed on a day to day basis, but a machine. Of course, I am inherently homo sapiens, but beneath that fleshy exoskeleton of emotion and instinct lies a cold, calculating contraption of steel and microchips. Over the course of my life, my humanity has been gradually peeling back, inside out, leaving something else in the centre, something not quite human, struggling to find logic in the reality of its organic existence.

I have values, of course, and morals, but despite having originated in that gradually decaying emotional section of mine, they have been warped and crafted by the machine, into things that can be explained by logic and reason. Extreme humanism, in short. I would pull the lever on the train track, saving the five and dooming the one. Hell, hand me a dagger and I’d even slit that one’s throat myself, if in result five other lives would be spared.

But even as I write this I feel the peeling. Why save lives? It won’t matter in the end. We are but inconceivably minute fragments of existence. Even the whole of human history will be inconsequential in the entirety of the universe. We create significance in our own lives, but in turn we sacrifice our integrity to ourselves, and when this happens we become truly lost. We all know we are nothing, though we may not want to.

Truth, Logic, Reason. This is my Trinity.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 7 • Views: 2,850 • Replies: 22

No top replies

It doesn't matter that nothing matters because, in the end, it doesn't matter!

I like it.

0 Replies

@aperson,

I think it's very interesting and well written. It kept me engaged all the way to the end. The only question I have is this: when you said, 'we sacrifice our integrity to ourselves and when this happens we become truly lost'- did you mean we each sacrifice the part of ourselves that would act with integrity to the selfishness inherent wit in each of our individual selves that causes us to abandon integrity for self-fulfillment?
If so - I would separate our and selves making it two words reading:
'We sacrifice our integrity to our selves, and when this happens we become truly lost.'

1 Reply

@aperson,

aperson wrote:

Quote:
Ok, here is a small English essay. It never got handed in, so you guys can have a look.
Please take it with a dash of salt - it doesn't represent me as a whole,
and I was aiming for a ridiculously dramatic effect.

Also, obviously no plagiarism please
(don't know why anyone would want to, but it helps to be safe).

That 's what copyrighting is for.

Quote:

At the core of my being lies, not the cheerful and energetic boy
that is displayed on a day to day basis, but a machine.
Of course, I am inherently homo sapiens, but beneath that
fleshy exoskeleton of emotion and instinct lies a cold,
calculating contraption of steel and microchips.

Here u refer to the reptilian brain ?

Quote:

Over the course of my life, my humanity has been gradually peeling back,
inside out, leaving something else in the centre, something not quite human,
struggling to find logic in the reality of its organic existence.

Your humanity is defined by something other than your DNA ?
If so, WHAT ?

Quote:

I have values, of course, and morals, but despite having originated
in that gradually decaying emotional section of mine,
they have been warped and crafted by the machine, into things
that can be explained by logic and reason. Extreme humanism, in short.

I would pull the lever on the train track,
saving the five and dooming the one.

Woud u be governed by this principle
if the 5 were depraved enemies of yours
and if the 1 were your favorite person ?

Quote:

Hell, hand me a dagger and I’d even slit that one’s throat myself,
if in result five other lives would be spared.

A dagger is not your instrument of choice for slitting things.
Thay don t necessarily have sharp edges,
not being crafted as much for incision as for puncturing.

Quote:

But even as I write this I feel the peeling. Why save lives?
It won’t matter in the end.

That 's a relative word,
meaningless unless u designate the criteria
by which it is judged.

Quote:

We are but inconceivably minute fragments of existence.
Even the whole of human history will be
inconsequential in the entirety of the universe.

How did u select THAT as your operative criterion ?
Y r u interested in the entirety of the universe ?

Quote:
We create significance in our own lives,

For sure THAT's the truth.

Quote:

but in turn we sacrifice our integrity to ourselves,

U have EVIDENCE of this ?

Quote:

and when this happens we become truly lost.

Lost is another relative word.
Lost from WHAT ?

Quote:

We all know we are nothing, though we may not want to.

I challenge u on that.
I don 't know that.
U have evidence in support of your position ?

Quote:
Truth, Logic, Reason.
This is my Trinity.

Will u enlighten me as to the distinction between logic n reason ?
Trininity means 3.
By MY count, your trinity consists of 2.

Affirmante non negante incumbit probatio.

An author must be prepared to defend the validity of his brainchild.

David

1 Reply

@aidan,

Thank you. You're saying we lose integrity to integrity? I suppose it could be interpreted that way - I was trying to say, in simple language - that once we starting lying to ourselves, or indeed our selves, we lose any hope of finding truth. Hence the final line reading Truth, etc. I originally put that final line at the end of the third paragraph, but later moved it for effect. Your point is still a good one though; consider it taken.

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

I appreciate your interest David, but I think that you forget that this is a creative product of as much heart as head, not a mathematical conjecture. I did say "take it with a dash of salt". I don't think it was neccessary to view it as something to be picked apart in every way possible. I mean come one, David, did you really need to make an example of me not using copyright? If so, you could perhaps have done it in a slightly more polite and less demeaning manner.

No, I was not refering to the reptilian brain... you've missed my point completely. I don't know how you came up with that conclusion, and I'm not going to explain in full what I meant. If you can't even understand the basics of my essay, how can you hope to understand the rest?

You assume that humanity is by definition only what is written in the DNA??

Again, my point was missed entirely. You are focusing solely on the basic meaning of my words, not on the ideas and concepts that those words are designed to portray.

Again, I think you are just trying to pick my essay apart for the hell of it. Incorrect word choice, maybe, but you are still only seeing as far as the face value of the words.

Finally some higher thinking... still way off the mark though. Your point is valid, but like I said, it is the general idea of the words that is important, not the technicalities. I don't think it was important to define exactly what I meant by "matter", and even if I did, I could hardly stop in the middle of the essay and write a definition for "matter". Part of English is interpretation. It's intentionally vague. One shouldn't need to be completely precise about every term used. Like I said, you seem to think this is some scientific paper.

It's as good a criterion as any. I could have said "a single human live is inconsequential in the timeline of the Earth". This particular phrase is arguable, but the idea of the phrase is the same.

This is exhausting me. I'll come back later and reply to your other comments if any of them have merit. In summary, you seem completely unaware of the massive differences between an English essay or piece of creative writing and a scientific argument. Even the average Joe has more awareness than you have shown today. To be honest, you have suprised me David. I always thought you were an intelligent and insightful bloke, even quite artsy. Maybe I was wrong. Please, prove me right.

0 Replies

Interesting.

And don't even bother with David. If he didn't get it the first time around, he'll never get it.

1 Reply

@Bella Dea,

Ok thanks for the hint. I really am kind of disappointed though.

2 Replies

@aperson,

Why?

Those that matter think it is quality writing. Wink

Prose is not non fiction. It's not something you can say is true or false. It just IS. For the time of the piece, it is the Truth.

2 Replies

@Bella Dea,

Thank you! Haha I was refering to David though.

0 Replies

@Bella Dea,

Bella Dea wrote:

Quote:
Why?

Those that matter think it is quality writing.

I will bet that u can not and will not explain
how one is supposed to decide who constitute:
" Those that matter "

Quote:
Prose is not non fiction.

Dictionary.com:
prose /proʊz/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [prohz] Show IPA Pronunciation
noun, adjective, verb, prosed, pros⋅ing.
"noun 1. the ordinary form of spoken or written language,
without metrical structure, as distinguished from poetry or verse.

Saying: "Prose is not non fiction" = Prose is fiction
( removing the double negative ) or Prose is false statements.
I dispute that.

Quote:
It's not something you can say is true or false. It just IS.
For the time of the piece, it is the Truth.

If its truth or falsity matters not,
then WHAT is the point of writing it down ?
I 'm pretty sure that u will have no answer,
or maybe the best u can come up with will be a personal insult.

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

You didn't take in anything I said about not everything being a scientific conjecture, did you?

1 Reply

@aperson,

aperson wrote:

Ok thanks for the hint. I really am kind of disappointed though.

If your terms or if your reasoning are not understood
by your reader, was your effort justified ?

If a man 's writing is incomprehensible,
or if, by its vagueness,
is open to anyone 's guess as to what it means,
what purpose was served in writing it ?

What woud u think and how woud u feel,
if someone took inaccurate inferences
from what u wrote and used YOU as authority
in support of philosophy that offends your beliefs ?

Over the course of my life, I have done a lot of writing
and usually went out of my way to be clear and unambiguous,
ofen expressing the same concept in many different ways
to accurately get the point across.

I remain curious as to Y u chose to
differentiate between logic and reason.

Is there a distinction between them ?

As to my comment concerning copyrighting,
it did not occur to me that u 'd deem it impolite.
I only meant to say that your remark did not
protect u from plagiarism; it was an ineffective shield.
People shoud not rely upon ineffective shields.
If I ever inadvertently do that,
I hope that someone will warn me before its too late.

If u r endeavoring to hone your writing skills
( which I inferred to be your reason in posting your essay ),
will u benefit more from genuine specific constructive criticism,
or from a lot of people saying: "Oooo, that 's nice "
or "cool, man" or "HEAVY !" ?

David

1 Reply

@aperson,

aperson wrote:

You didn't take in anything I said about not everything being a scientific conjecture, did you?

Scientific guessing ?

I am a little unfamiliar with that.

What purpose did u seek to achieve in writing n posting your essay ?

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

I appreciate constructive criticism. All you sought to do was rip apart my work.

And with all due respect, the three posters here, and indeed also my 16 year old peer, had no problems with comprehension.

I take your point, but many things are about interpretation. When George Orwell wrote Animal Farm, he didn't simply copy out a chapter from a history book and state his views on Stalinism etc. Music lyrics are often intentionally vague and even weird. The whole purpose of literature, or at least an important part of it, is for the reader to draw their own conclusions.

Yes everyone writes. Authors write a lot. So do Chemistry professors. The difference is the type of writing. Please try to understand this.

Ok, I will answer your question. It is a fair one. I am using this type of reason: "The power of intelligent and dispassionate thought, or of conduct influenced by such thought." Reason can be used as a synonym of logic, sure, but that isn't its only meaning.

0 Replies

@OmSigDAVID,

Far out, you really have no idea, do you?

1 Reply

@aperson,

Aperson - I guess I thought you meant that it's possible to sacrifice the part of our selves that would act with integrity to the parts of our selves that find it easier to deny those parts that contain integrity and make us make the decisions that are harder to make- thus taking the easy way out- or the road more traveled instead of the road less traveled (if you know what I mean).
I know that's very awkwardly stated - but I couldn't think of an easier or smoother way to state my thought.

So I guess what I'm saying is in my mind, I sort of inserted the word 'baser' as in 'We sacrifice integrity for our 'baser' selves.

1 Reply

@aperson,

aperson wrote:

Far out, you really have no idea, do you?

People write for a variety of reasons.

I surmised that u posted this to hone your writing skills.
( True or false ? )

Contrary to your defensive allegation,
my criticism was not destructive; there is no reason for that.

I respected your intellect enuf to be candid.
I did not patronize u enuf to be insincere (nor at all).

Instead of looking at it in detail,
I coud have looked addressed it as a whole
and said: "groovy, man" or "u touched my soul"
for all the good THAT will do u.

On this forum, your friends can limit themselves
to quick n shallow praise, but in the real world,
whenever anyone writes anything or says anything
( regardless of his age ) the product of his mind
ofen will be criticised on its merits by whoever wishes
to offer an opinion. That 's just the reality of the world.

I intuit that I hurt your feelings (because u said that u were disappointed).
That was not my intention.
My respect for your mind required me to be forthright.

David

1 Reply

@aidan,

Hmm yea I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say but I think you've got the general idea.

0 Replies

@OmSigDAVID,

It did come across to me as patronizing, I'm sorry if it didn't seem that way to you. I appreciate your interest in detail and your enthusiasm in provided a proper evaluation of my essay, but it is clear that you have minimal understanding of what it is even about. This is also shown by your determination to treat it, and indeed everything else, as a scientific conjucture ("a tentative insight into the natural world; a concept that is not yet verified but that if true would explain certain facts or phenomena"). I wish to end this discussion here please.

1 Reply

My disturbing essay

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know