"T.V. learner" = note to teacher or not?

What to say? If I continually wore a shirt with the name Fred, I would expect to hear about it, one way or another. Maybe it's time for a different shirt.

Help him come up with a good retort, something like "yeah, but I'm a High Definition TV Learner."

A note to the school? I don't think so. You don't want him coming under even more fire.

A different shirt isn't going to happen -- this official army shirt was given to him by his uncle who is a 2 star general in the army. He's finally grown into it so the name is out of date.

That is a good retort but I'm not sure it will work in the second grade.

And yeah, eBeth, that's what I thought. But Mo wanted me to talk to the principal about it and I suggested that he should start with the reading group leader and he asked for my help.

I don't want to be one of those stomping and spitting "ohmygod my kid is being teased" people but, you know, he has enough bullshit without being teased.

When he asks for my help I feel obligated to help him but I don't want to make things worse. We just did that big evaluation last summer and he has an IEP reading group too so that is probably where some of this is coming from (the kids are at the age that they are aware that he goes off to a special class).

I know the reading group leader pretty well. What about if I just talk to her about it insead of making it a written thing?

What about ripping out the old embroidered name and stitching some new embroidery for the new name? That way he keeps the shirt and just the name changes.

how about just asking the reading group leader about the dynamics of the group to start with

Is Mo still getting some pro help outside of the school? This might be a good thing for him to discuss with someone other than you.

I think you should drop a comment to the reading teacher since you know her fairly well. Do you ever just happen to see her?

I think you should also coach Mo on a buzz off attitude.

I wish it was that easy but this is made just exactly like a real uniform. That name isn't coming off. I suppose I could look into having my brother have a new uniform shirt made.

This uniform is Mo's pride and joy.

I've told Mo to explain that it is his "call sign". Maybe that will help. He will not be discouraged from wearing the uniform. I do laundry at least every otehr day to be sure that his uniform is clean.

I see the reading group teacher almost every morning. She was the Friday teacher in his first grade class and my volunteer day was Friday so I spent a lot of time working for her. She's very up to speed on Mo's "issues".

Mo is usually a pretty tough guy so when something bothers him, it bothers him.

I think kids in the IEP programs are sensitive to lables of "dumb" anyway.

And no, we aren't seeing a therapist right now.

Boom, I hesitate to teach you this, and it must be kept away from the teachers...

Pog mo thoin

(he must say it in a whisper, with the crazy eyes...)

Say what?

gaelic fun...

(google it)

Ha!

Now I just need a pronunciation guide!!

Found it!



It even has audio: http://www.irish-sayings.com/cats/irishwords/

I'm a little confused. The kids are calling him insults because the name on his shirt is different from the name he prefers to be called? I use to buy bowling shirts from the Salvation Army with names like Fred or Joe stitched on them. I never got teased for that. What is the connection with the shirt and the teasing? Why not just sew a name tag over the unwanted name?

As to the bullying, I think you should first have Mo tell the kids to cut it out. He should tell them they are being mean and he doesn't like it. If they keep it up, or it escalates, you should get more involved. Support is good, fighting the battle for him might backfire and make him look like a Mama's boy.

Ummmm..... okay...

Well.....

He's seven years old so his teasability is quite high.

He doesn't buy his own clothing yet. He received this shirt from his uncle who his in the army and is highly ranked and who he absolutley adores so it has much more symbolic and emotional value than something bought at a thrift store.

The name can't be covered, removed or sewn over as it is an army uniform and they don't like to have the name's altered on army uniforms.

I'm not talking about fighting his battles for him. The kids tease him and he continues to wear the outfit which, to me, is the biggest "cut it out" that he could "say".

But they haven't cut it out. He asked me for help. I'm asking about the best way to help him out.

I'm trying NOT to make a big deal out of it.

I would just tell him to explain to the kids that this is a shirt that someone gave him that he really likes because he really likes the person who gave it to him.

If the teasing only started today (yesterday) I don't think I'd write a note to the teacher. If it continues and it becomes obvious that it'll be an ongoing thing, I might just make her aware that it's causing problems.

For me, a lot would depend on whether or not you trust her (the teacher) to be observant or not - is she spacy- does she miss a lot of stuff? Or is she on top of things and maybe noticing, but trying to let Mo deal with it on his own before she jumps in? She may just be waiting to see and trying to let it die a quick death - if Mo doesn't react- they may just move onto someone or something else. The sad thing is - these type of kids always manage to find someone or something to make into their entertainment.

I'd talk to Mo and say, 'Look, these kids don't have anything better to do than look at your shirt...sad, isn't it? But you need to understand, if you're gonna keep wearing the shirt, you'll probably keep hearing it.'
Help him understand the cost of individualism.

My daughter had to wear hearing aids and one kid targeted her and said all sorts of stupid stuff and she never said a word until he finally said to her, 'Look, Olivia puts shrimps in her ears (they ARE kind of shaped like shrimps - I'd never noticed that before). She told me that one - and I told her that next time he said that she should ask him, 'Why do you think I'd put shrimps in my ears......that'd be pretty stupid....does your family put shrimp in your ears or something?'
I don't know if she ever did, but she realized that people who make stupid suggestions like that are the ones who are silly - not the people who are just going about making their own decisions and doing what they have to or want to do to get through the day.

But it's not the shirt. It's the name. He won't use his real name, and they're going to keep ragging on him till he does. I'm thinking the next move is up to him.

It's the same thing- it's a decision he's made that they don't understand so they have to work at him and work at him until he makes the same decision that all of them would have made or think he should make.

And believe me Roger - it WILL become the shirt. If he wears this shirt more than two times a week, their next comments will be about how he doesn't have any other clothes to wear, maybe they'll start calling him 'poor' or 'weird' or 'smelly' (even though his mother is washing it all the time).

Yes, it is his move - but if he were my child, I'd help him to understand the problem is more with them than with him. He may have to be bearing the brunt of their problem (cruelty, immaturity) and he needs to decide if it's worth it.