I read through your passage and I think you should process it more and THEN "correct" it yourself or re-post. I will make these suggestions now:
1. Your "passage" is about animals managing water in the (dry) desert. You develop three aspects: getting water, conserving water, and storing water. If you agree with that, group all the sentences or content in what you posted (you may have to break up a combined sentence) into those three categories.
2. Then write a topic sentence that overviews this relationship between life and water, and three ways animals resolve it (naming each, in whatever order).
3. Organize your three categorized groups into paragraphs, in the order you set out in your topic sentence.
4. Reread what you wrote critically. The issue is content. Add, subtract, adjust, rewrite, reorganize accordingly. A topic sentence for each paragraph that sums up or leads into the general content would help your reader. A conclusion takes the reader back to the general topic--animals and water--and sums up what you had to say about it.
5. Now, after you have done steps 1-4, you can "go over" what you wrote and "correct" it. You could do it by yourself, using a dictionary, grammar site on the web or grammar book, and even a thesaurus if you like. OR, you could post it to this site. Writing is not w-r-i-t-i-n-g, and there's little point in correcting writing if the structure/organization and thought has not gone into it as a process of communicating something worth reading. You've started out fine. It's just not ready for "correcting" yet. You can learn something about your subject and thinking and writing by thinking of it as more of a process. Good luck!