When should a parent quit attending kid's doctor visits?

When I started driving myself to the dr. is when my Mom stopped going with me. I had a breast lump at the age of 16 and needed her for those visits - but after that - I don't remember her going with me.

I think it would be different for a boy. When they became more modest - or annoyed that Mom was going in with them is when I would give them their freedom - but I am thinking that I would still want permission to talk to the dr. from my sons if there were a problem. Not be in there with them - but discuss afterwards if need be...or their Dad - whichever one of us was available I suppose - not there yet - so I haven't given it a whole lot of thought!

wow....I remember being 15 or 16 and my mother coming in the doctors exam room with me.

I mean, why not?

There wasn't anything I was going to tell the doctor that she didn't already know about. If I was at the doctors, I was sick or something was wrong.

When I came to the age of needing gyno exams, I made the appointment and went myself, because nothing was wrong, just needed to get that done. I think I only had one before going off on my own.

I'm guessing it's determined by each state but in IL the parent has to be in the room during any evaluation until the child is 18. Which, now that I think of it doesn't make sense...

I took M to the pediatrician's office a few weeks ago for a sick call. I was willing to stay in the waiting room but was told I had to join her in the examining room. M is 16. OTOH, K had a first appt at the gynie office when she was 17 and I waited in the waiting room.

hmmmmm --- got me!

It's regulated by law!? I'm thinking it probably has more to do with malpractice insurance than anything else and they use "law" as an excuse. I'm going to snoop around and see if we have such a law.

I'm not talking about serious illness but just a regular, yearly physical. Or, like JPB, a sick call for a sore throat or something. If I found a lump in my breast I'd want my mom there too and I'm 48!

It seems to me that a kid would be reluctant to talk to the doctor or ask questions if mom or dad were sitting there. It seems like it would be hard for a teenaager to talk to their doctor with a parent hoovering over their shoulder.

What if it were an abused kid? Would they tell on their parents if a parent was sitting there? I doubt it.

I don't remember when my mom quit going with me but honestly I don't recall her ever being there.

I went to the doc weekly for shots starting when I was 7 or 8. hamburger would drive me there, sit in the car with a magazine while I : went in; saw the nurse/receptionist to tell her I was there and to ask what room to wait in; go to the treatment room; roll up my sleeves; wait for the doc - tell him about any reaction from the previous week - get my shot; go to the waiting room; wait til the nurse/receptionist said I could leave (usually 15 - 30 minutes); go out to the parking lot; and hop back in the car. Starting when I was about 9, hamburger would then drive me to painting classes at the university.

I'm sure the hamburgers were there for important doc visits til I was in my early teens, but I don't remember them being around much when I was talking to the doc.

Just doctors? The concern is not also valid for dentists? Perhaps, more so, since one can be given an anesthetic at a dentist.

I have heard of an instance, in a southwest state, where a mother was not allowed to accompany a young child (five or six?) into the doctor's examining room? I do not know why. It was apparently the way things were done?

Anyway, I admire your vigilance.

When your child says s/he wants to go in alone. Of course within reason - if your 4 year old says so then of course not - if your teenager says they want to meet with the doctor alone - ok.

I would still discuss with the doctor the exam, but if your child is embarassed about you being there and is mature enough, I think you need to respect your child's decision.