The Tree Cutters Came Today

Well, the storm had hurled a tree across the top of my neighbor's home. The damage was considerable. Since then, she has been militant about getting the remaining trees either cut down, or determined to be reasonably safe by tree companies. The tree men told her that a huge pine on my side of the fence would crush her house like reyn biting into a Hershey bar. For a mere $1,500 they would get rid of the menace. I says, "Hold on, buckaroos, I ain't got that kind of cash." My neighbor says, "It is your responsibility (how I hate that word)" After I tell her about the dozen other trees that surround her house, any of which could bat it across the street, she went home to plot and scheme. Next day, the price to cut the tree is $1,300. "No kin dew."

The neighbor corners me a few days later. "Can you pay $600 if I pay $600?" (Cheaper still).
"I can, if you will wait until I get some money, which I am expecting in a matter of days or a few weeks."
Finally, she walks off. A few minutes later, she stalks back, and begins again.
"I did not offer to pay 50%. It is your tree. But, I will help."
"Look, the money I get is not that much. When it's gone, I will never get any more."

Finally, she gets a new price, of $900 total, to bring it down.
She tells me: "I will pay $500 if you wll pay $400. Plus, you can give it to me, $50 per month."

Truth is, I had begun studying that monster in the back yard, and the tree man was right. It went up seemingly forever. Then it forked. From that point, it looked as if it had two full grown trees sitting on top. I would not have taken on the job of cutting it down for less than twenty thousand bucks.

So, I jumped on that deal, of $400.

Today, by the time I arrived home, they had already decimated the tree population in the neighbor's yard. Unbeknownst to me, they had felled one tall pine by cutting it at the base. That sucker laid down across the street and bent the corner post to a chain link fence on the other side.

But I didn't know this. They came in, after lunch, and began taking my fence apart and I accommodated by moving some plants that I had owned for many years. They plowed up the yard with heavy equipment, destroyed the little fence dividing my front and back yards, and so forth.

But they looked mighty professional, dismembering that innocent tree, and feeding the parts to a wood chipper, all but the larger logs. These they put on a truck. They smoothed over about a tenth of the disturbed earth and threw my fence up, leaving out a post, and, shortly were gone.

I intend to surprise my neighbor and give her the full $900.