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Help me combat a gardening terrorist.

 
 
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 12:14 pm
This old lady has more energy than any two younger people. She's close to eighty. The problem, she has this army entrenching tool (small shovel) and she digs in all the beds in her sector of the apartments. She has a rake that pulls the lawn grass roots up. She transfers dirt from around the property, piling it in her flower bed next to the patio. All of this I am letting go, because her family is building her a home to move into in an uncertain future month.
I planted some bulbs that smell a lot like garlic around a tree. They stay green all year and flower (violet) about eight months a year. But, the woman is a mulch addict. She pulls leaves off the shrubs and buries them and anything else in the beds. Now she is pulling the tops off the bulb plants I was so fond of. As long as she lives here they will never bloom again. Help me, creative people; what can I put on those things that will discourage her from pulling them? I envision something gooey and sticky that will dye her hands for a day or two. Anybody?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 3 • Views: 8,032 • Replies: 86
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 12:16 pm
get her one of those electric dog collars and every time she goes near your plants, zap her. :wink:

I am feeling particularly evil today....
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 12:26 pm
Purple water colors.
Purple leaves look unnatural, she may think twice about picking them?

Bella - Laughing
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 12:28 pm
ooo, a real solution...manure? Could you put manure around them? She might think twice about digging around in poop.
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 12:31 pm
Hmm, no.
If she is scrounging for plants and leaves to make natural mulch, she will steal the poop. Guarantee ya. Laughing
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 12:36 pm
Get one of those motion activated sprinklers. It'll keep her, and dogs and cats away and provide you with hours of entertainment.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 12:39 pm
good one cjhsa!
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 12:49 pm
Too close to the path to use those sprinklers.

I've tried reasoning, but the senility factor kicks in ( hers, not mine).
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 03:23 pm
You could just stand out there and spray her with the hose.
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 05:44 pm
When the apt manager went out to have a word with her about these activities she threw her shovel in her general direction. On another occasion she wrapped her hands about the manager's throat. And, strangely, the old lady is allowed to keep it up.
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 05:45 pm
Call the cops and tell them the old lady downloads child porn. That'll work.
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Feb, 2005 08:33 pm
No computer.
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2005 09:16 am
pee on them,
when she is looking...
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2005 12:55 pm
> blush <
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2005 12:55 pm
Contact your local Agency for Aging (blue pages in the phone book) and ask for advice. If someone is taking an official interest, the woman's children might start working on a timetable.

Her behavior indicates that she's becoming a clear and present danger to herself and others.
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2005 09:14 pm
Her relatives are converting their garage into a home for her. They know she is in need of care. If only they'd speed it up. I don't dislike her, understand. I often converse with her, getting some bizarre feedback. She was telling me of pink and green snakes flying in the air, descending on cows and strangling them.
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edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2005 09:38 pm
We had a similar case last year. A woman taking her meds, then drinking like a fish. Her son the cop moved her in, then promptly left her on her own. She began by reporting snakes in the kitchen (they were small beads of roach poison run under the counters). Then it was the people upstairs were stalking her. No matter where she moved to, "they" followed her, even the cat. She soon concluded that the lovely young woman living up there was in fact a man. She also objected to her neighbor's dress. Each time the neighbor left for her teaching job the old lady stood near the door and said, "Just look at yourself." Then she decided that the upstairs people were using their remotes to click her television, air conditioner, etc., on and off at will. They began bombarding her by "sending needles through the ceiling." Finally, the old lady couldn't take it anymore and she moved out. A few months later she stopped by to say that her former upstairs neighbors had followed her and moved over her to resume the stalking. Oddest thing here, her son knows all this, but does not involve himself.
0 Replies
 
Piffka
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2005 09:39 pm
She talked to you about pink snakes strangling invisible cows and also has tried to strangle the landlord? Eeeyikes. You be careful around her.

You could dig up your bulbs and put them in a large pot... then put a small pyracantha in there with 'em. Those are so thorny and stay green all the time so she'd be unlikely to want to handle it or think it was mulch.
0 Replies
 
sublime1
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2005 09:46 pm
Edgar, is that peyote you're growing there?
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 24 Feb, 2005 10:03 pm
I don't make em up, just report em.
 

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