Adoptive families and funeral ettiquette.

Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 01:42 pm
As most of you know, my son, Mo, is adopted. He has contact with several members of his biological family. One is his great aunt (his mOther's uncle's wife). Auntie's father just died and she's been calling about us coming to the funeral.

I really don't want to go and I don't want Mo to go -- he didn't really even know this man - but I feel a little bad about it. I don't want to be rude but I don't really want to encourage this kind of "family" relationship.

I know this kind of thing is going to come up with more direct bio-relatives in the future.

Do you think it's enough to send a card? Flowers? To Auntie's home? To the funeral?

What do you think would be appropriate?

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Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 01:57 pm
I'm surprised that she's called, but perhaps she's just attempting somehow to do the right thing, too.

IMO, It'd be incredibly generous if you sent a card.

Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 01:57 pm
To the home.
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Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:05 pm
His mOther's uncle's wife's father?

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Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:20 pm
Okay then. I've got a card so I'll send it.

I know it sounds like such a stretch of a relationship but she really is the only one on that side of Mo's bio-family that bothers to keep up with how he's doing. Sometimes it's a pain in the neck for me but sometime in the future it might be important to Mo to have known her so I don't want to slam any doors that just need closing.
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