Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Durham, NC who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Raleigh. One of my sisters lives in Garner and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Fayetteville. I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Butler for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Spivey's Corner. She is a part time 'working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who supports John McCain for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation