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Mon 15 Sep, 2003 01:49 pm
Cliff Claven uses darwinism to explain why beer is so good for you.
"Well, you see, Norm, it's like this...
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And
when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole
group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest member.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as
the slowest brain cells.
Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But
naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, that is why you always feel smarter after a few
beers."
Cool! Now I have a source for the buffalo theory I once heard in a bar!
dlowan has a nonsensical rebuttal to this, she's a wet blanket.
Do I have to bring sense to this crazy theory AGAIN???!!!!
You mixed up 'can' and 'do' again there dab.
And the answer is no.
yes dlowan you do, I havn't heard both sides yet.
Go for it. I have never refuted your refutation and I'll do so this time.
Beer is good for you! Just because you are a freak of nature and don't like beer don't change nuthin'.
Dlowan doesn't like beer? I feel betrayed.
Hey! You in the pointy hat! DOWN IN FRONT!
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Sorry guys.
I have always refuted this one based on the idea that it assumes that brain cells reproduce - and that survival of the fittest means that the best brain cells reproduce (which is one of the elements of the usual Darwinian analysis) - however, I note that this version does not particularly speak of reproducing braincells - so the fact that neurones hardly regenerate at all (apparently they do so rather more than we have thought recently) is, perhaps, not strictly relevant.
However - to continue - the strength of the human brain does not so much depend on the quality of individual neurones, but on the richness and complexity of their interconnectivity. Thus, loss of braincells gradually affects the quality of the brain.
Also, there is no evidence that alcohol discriminates in its attack upon the brain - it kills the weak and strong alike.
Also - the SPEED of the beast depends not so much upon the neurones themselves, as upon the speed of the neurotransmitters crossing the synapses.
Beer just smegs the brain. Sorry. heehee
Gus - fear not - I bugger my brain as much as anyone could desire - only with scotch, vodka, gin and wine!
I hate beer.
Coach looks at cliff
coach: She has a point Cliffie.
No she doant. First of all it doant matter if brain cells reproduce or not. When Gideon purged his ranks there were no replacements. Just a leaner meaner fighting machine.
It's the same with brain cells. By getting rid of the slackers your brain becomes a lithe thinking machine.
And what would you know about the evidence that beer kills the slow pokes? Yew doant drink beer!
Further research is obviously needed.
Here's to science! (hic)
100 bottles of beer on the wall,
100 bottles of beer on the wall
and so on
Craven de Kere wrote:No she doant. First of all it doant matter if brain cells reproduce or not. When Gideon purged his ranks there were no replacements. Just a leaner meaner fighting machine.
It's the same with brain cells. By getting rid of the slackers your brain becomes a lithe thinking machine.
And what would you know about the evidence that beer kills the slow pokes? Yew doant drink beer!
Brains don't DO lithe - they need richness. I know lots of beer drinkers - don't NEED to touch the stuff.
Do you think neurones hunt and gather, or something?
Much wool-gathering, at any event . . .
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