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Cheers explains darwinism

 
 
kev
 
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 01:49 pm
Cliff Claven uses darwinism to explain why beer is so good for you.


"Well, you see, Norm, it's like this...

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And

when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the

back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the

herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole

group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest member.



In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as

the slowest brain cells.



Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But

naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In

this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain

cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.



And that, Norm, that is why you always feel smarter after a few

beers."
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 3,461 • Replies: 30
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 02:12 pm
Cool! Now I have a source for the buffalo theory I once heard in a bar!

dlowan has a nonsensical rebuttal to this, she's a wet blanket.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 03:40 pm
Do I have to bring sense to this crazy theory AGAIN???!!!!
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 03:44 pm
You mixed up 'can' and 'do' again there dab.

And the answer is no.
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kev
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 04:18 pm
yes dlowan you do, I havn't heard both sides yet.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 04:18 pm
Oh, I can do, all right.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 05:23 pm
Go for it. I have never refuted your refutation and I'll do so this time.

Beer is good for you! Just because you are a freak of nature and don't like beer don't change nuthin'.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 05:26 pm
Dlowan doesn't like beer? I feel betrayed.
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 06:48 pm
Hey! You in the pointy hat! DOWN IN FRONT!
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 07:46 pm
mmmmmmm, beer be tasty.
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Sep, 2003 08:14 pm
bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer bee beer
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2003 02:24 am
Sorry guys.

I have always refuted this one based on the idea that it assumes that brain cells reproduce - and that survival of the fittest means that the best brain cells reproduce (which is one of the elements of the usual Darwinian analysis) - however, I note that this version does not particularly speak of reproducing braincells - so the fact that neurones hardly regenerate at all (apparently they do so rather more than we have thought recently) is, perhaps, not strictly relevant.

However - to continue - the strength of the human brain does not so much depend on the quality of individual neurones, but on the richness and complexity of their interconnectivity. Thus, loss of braincells gradually affects the quality of the brain.

Also, there is no evidence that alcohol discriminates in its attack upon the brain - it kills the weak and strong alike.

Also - the SPEED of the beast depends not so much upon the neurones themselves, as upon the speed of the neurotransmitters crossing the synapses.

Beer just smegs the brain. Sorry. heehee


Gus - fear not - I bugger my brain as much as anyone could desire - only with scotch, vodka, gin and wine!

I hate beer.
0 Replies
 
kev
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2003 07:29 am
Coach looks at cliff

coach: She has a point Cliffie.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2003 09:20 am
No she doant. First of all it doant matter if brain cells reproduce or not. When Gideon purged his ranks there were no replacements. Just a leaner meaner fighting machine.

It's the same with brain cells. By getting rid of the slackers your brain becomes a lithe thinking machine.

And what would you know about the evidence that beer kills the slow pokes? Yew doant drink beer!
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2003 11:24 am
(urp)
0 Replies
 
CodeBorg
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2003 12:16 pm
Further research is obviously needed.
Here's to science! (hic)
0 Replies
 
Lightwizard
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2003 12:22 pm
100 bottles of beer on the wall,
100 bottles of beer on the wall

and so on
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2003 03:22 pm
Craven de Kere wrote:
No she doant. First of all it doant matter if brain cells reproduce or not. When Gideon purged his ranks there were no replacements. Just a leaner meaner fighting machine.

It's the same with brain cells. By getting rid of the slackers your brain becomes a lithe thinking machine.

And what would you know about the evidence that beer kills the slow pokes? Yew doant drink beer!


Brains don't DO lithe - they need richness. I know lots of beer drinkers - don't NEED to touch the stuff.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Sep, 2003 03:22 pm
Do you think neurones hunt and gather, or something?
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Sep, 2003 05:13 am
Much wool-gathering, at any event . . .
0 Replies
 
 

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