Remembering Noddy24, Always

Just been looking over some of Noddy's posts and it made me feel awful to see that her very last post was that she was "tired of being tired." I don't know why I went and read that, I really wasn't ready to see what her last post was and I wish I hadn't looked. after seeing those words I feel so...I don't know, just sad and heavy and blah.

I just needed to say something about it to someone, and it's so hard to be grieving for someone that no one I know in real life knew, so I can't really talk to anyone about it....I just thought posting might help with this horrible feeling.

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Yeah, I'm sad too.
One thing about that last post....

Noddy24 wrote:

As soon as I organize Mr. Noddy's emergency contact telephone numbers; the dog's pills; and my overnight bag, I'm calling the ambulance.

I'm very tired of being tired.

It's so Noddy to think of Mr. Noddy and Iffy, before herself.
And I think, as last words go, it's fitting.

She's not tired any more.

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I didn't see this thread until now. I'm very sorry to hear of Noddy's passing. Judging on her posts here, she was a very strong woman, with amazing resilience and much life wisdom acquired through it.

My condolences also to Jespah and all those here who knew her well or worked with her. You started this thread with a lovely, and loving, tribute, Jes. I'm sure many who cared about Noddy have found comfort in it.

May Mr. Noddy and Noddy's son be well; wishing them strength, and comfort.

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im taking it she posted here before she went to the hospital, and then..

wow, if that aint community , i dont know what is.

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i wish i could have said goodbye, theres nothin i appreciate more than a person who could radiate such wisdom.

sigh...

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I, too, have just stumbled across this thread and am speechless. Even though Noddy didn't like me much and always threw verbal harpoons at me, I still respected her.

Why do all the A2Kers with intellect seem to pass on?

Am I to assume that Bear is gone?

I know that Occom Bill is still alive, but that is little consolation.

I miss Noddy. Why do the cool always die?

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cyphercat wrote:

Just been looking over some of Noddy's posts and it made me feel awful to see that her very last post was that she was "tired of being tired." I don't know why I went and read that, I really wasn't ready to see what her last post was and I wish I hadn't looked. after seeing those words I feel so...I don't know, just sad and heavy and blah.

I just needed to say something about it to someone, and it's so hard to be grieving for someone that no one I know in real life knew, so I can't really talk to anyone about it....I just thought posting might help with this horrible feeling.

Oh Cypher...

It is hard for others to understand.. but we do here.

We are a community here - Noddy did us all proud - she was strong and wise and helped so many folk as well as making us laugh and wiping tears away. We're lucky to have had her as part of our lives - albeit virtually. I miss her so much. She was tired. She's resting now.

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cyphercat wrote:

Just been looking over some of Noddy's posts and it made me feel awful to see that her very last post was that she was "tired of being tired." I don't know why I went and read that, I really wasn't ready to see what her last post was and I wish I hadn't looked. after seeing those words I feel so...I don't know, just sad and heavy and blah.

I just needed to say something about it to someone, and it's so hard to be grieving for someone that no one I know in real life knew, so I can't really talk to anyone about it....I just thought posting might help with this horrible feeling.

I felt the same way, Cypher...but then...that is often how we feel before we die, as things just wear down, and it is very natural.

Dunno if that helps you, but it does me...knowing this is a very common human experience and all....and one that most of us will share.

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cyphercat wrote:

I just needed to say something about it to someone, and it's so hard to be grieving for someone that no one I know in real life knew, so I can't really talk to anyone about it....I just thought posting might help with this horrible feeling.

I know what you mean.

The other night actually, I did actually started talking to my bf about her and it was very odd. My bf and I are close (obviously), and yet I had never spoken before about the people here. He just knew I had a forum that I've been on for some time.

It was odd but somehow very good to talk to someone in rl about her. I could tell he didn't quite understand it, but he listened.

Even trying to start to explain it, my throat closed up and I was overcome with tears.

Without Noddy, I quite literally don't believe I'd even have someone like him in my life right now. So it felt right for him to know of her.

Noddy too had a great sense of death as a something that is not abnormal, or to be feared. That intelligence in her about that helped me tremendously - and I mention this simply because, maybe you can take strength from being reminded of that and how she lived.

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my cousin asked me why i was tearing up as he walked into my room when i first was reading about it.

i didnt know how to explain.

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Tell him you lost a friend.

The book she sent me, BTW, is called The Strange Adventures of Rangergirl. It's sitting here on this desk, right near the picture of timber and his dog, Big Sam. Gonna hunt around for the pic of Noddy and D__, frame it and put it here, too.

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Somehow I need to protect myself.

I have done this in the past by insisting that none of you are real. Not really figments of my imagination but something akin to movie stars where the public A2k persona is not all there is to see.

There are a few posters on A2k I realise now that have slipped under my guard. (Get back in your box you bastids)

Timber did it. Noddy to.

The trouble with A2K is there are a bunch of wise old people. Ya just get to like, respect and care and the buggers up and die.

As Ned said;

and so.... it has come to this.

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Her gift to all of us was her knowledge, wisdom, kindness, and support. We will forever be richer for having known a truly remarkable woman who can reach to the various ends of the earth and touch our hearts with such strength. Only an angel can do that. We will come across Noddy posts for a very long time and there are many that will touch our hearts again and again..... A guardian angel if there ever was one.

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I was just looking through my PMs, when I realized that the vast majority of my personal communications on A2K were between Noddy and me. Although her life was fraught with problems, she always had time for a word of wisdom, a bit of comfort for me.

There is a big hole in my life since Noddy's passing!

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Caribou, Izzie, dlowan, mushy, thanks for the responses, gang... It's hard right now because one of my pets isn't looking very good either, and there's nothing to do for him, and normally A2K is where I come to get away from tough stuff in the real world but of course at the moment it's not feeling like much of an escape from real life. (kind of like dadpad was saying--a2k is seeming all too real right now...it's tough to have death touch a place that's normally a refuge.)

dlowan wrote:

I felt the same way, Cypher...but then...that is often how we feel before we die, as things just wear down, and it is very natural.

Dunno if that helps you, but it does me...knowing this is a very common human experience and all....and one that most of us will share.

That does help, actually. Thank you.

MagicBlackCat wrote:

We will come across Noddy posts for a very long time and there are many that will touch our hearts again and again..... A guardian angel if there ever was one.

That's so true--it's pretty great that we have so much written by her that we'll read over and over again... Right now, seeing her avatar on a thread is still painful, but I know it'll be really good to come across her posts once the loss isn't so fresh.
Anyway, it's nice to know that you're all here.

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Quote:

it's tough to have death touch a place that's normally a refuge.

my thought exactly..

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what the hell am I doin right?

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Noddy and I had a PM exchange a couple years ago that started as a request to visit a thread about a sick animal, moved through her recovery from the lumpectomy she'd recently had and ended with us talking about education. The last response she gave me was a beaut:

Quote:

Believe me, a classroom of elementary school kids is a very small, overcrowded lifeboat.

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my sig is dedicated to noddy..

so tired of bein tired...

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I am not quite over her yet. I dont know how long it should take. I realize that it is mostly selfish -- Im sad because I wanted her to stay and keep bringing her wisdom and wittiness to my problems. Im sad for myself being deprived of her virtual company. I know she was tired. And it looks like she was prepared for the outcome. I wish I could say that I was.

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Remembering Noddy24, Always

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