Food I Do Not Like

What does that leave? Dirt?

Hey, I ate dirt before. When I was about four or five. Sat down in the filthy drive outside our trailer house, and ate two tablespoons full. My candy ass two or three year old brother refused any. That evening, my stomache had a bit of an ache for about 15 minutes, then I was okay again. Strangely, I never wanted more.

I knew a guy who ate dried pig **** one time. He was about 10-years old at the time and, if I remember correctly, he was sick for about a week. I don't recall him ever sampling that delicacy after that unfortunate incident.

So you learned your lesson, ha gustav?

We can add dirt and pig **** to foods I do not like, now.

Are you implying what I think you are?

How dare you!

It's written all over the walls, so don't deny it, gustav!

So, can I talk? eh? eh?

True, I'm barely started on Foods I Like.

On those I don't I can be less phantasmagoric in description.


Raw sea urchin (I do like good sashimi, et al. Just not the raw sea urchin.)

Overcooked anything

Fatty slime. That happens to be hard to pin down, but you know it when you taste it.

I'm an egg freak. I do NOT want to see any islands of cooked egg white in my scrambled eggs, much less eat, oh my god, eggs over easy, or even hard. Baby osso and all her phobias, most gone, meet here.

Raw eggs in general, including cute little raw quail eggs...

I didn't like my mother's parsnips or turnips but as an adult I might be open to some preparations of them. Some sunny wintry day.

We had as one of the many dishes at our wedding table at the Twin Dragon a dish of (I think they were stir fried) jellyfish. Eh, rubber bands....

Most other dishes to me have to do with cooking technique or too much or too little of this or that. Will have to think a bit to remember what else I despise.

That list is pretty short:

black pudding
tripe
tofu

Maybe it was eating pig **** on its own that caused the upset.

Maybe he should have taken up the suggestion of the employee of the month who served him, and had the fries and coke to go with it?

liver
anything witn cumin
POP TARTS
egg salad
okra (the slime)
vegemite
gyros
poutine
guinea pig on a stick with lime coating and fire cooked
anything with aloe in it
salt cod
cooked cod-fish head with corn meal
shitakis
kool aid
most roes except shad with bacon

menudo
or anything made with tripe

There are some foods I like, but it depends on who prepares them whether I enjoy eating them or not. I will not eat coleslaw or potato salad at a restaurant, but will eat them if I know and approve the chef.

At any restaurant, if I do not like the looks or actions of the staff, I cannot eat there.

pop tarts
liver