@alex240101,
Hey Crew
Well........ my goodness gracious me!
Sometimes " you just see something and then another piece to the puzzle is found
I’ve been chasing rainbows!
Had a good long talk with the GP and... well, everything makes sense tho there’s no easy solution " a past can’t be undone, my decisions can’t be redecided " it is what it is " I need to believe I am not a bad person "which I’m not but...it’s hard to live with the BigBoy decision I took " rightly or wrongly, judging myself is harsher than what others do. Things bubble beneath the surface " eventually they find a way to seep through. Hence, overload, blackouts and chronic insomnia " tho I am happy enough in myself " euphoric to a point " provided I don’t think about the past and that and those which hurt me and I need to stop allowing other's behaviour to wear me down. Mmmmm....easy to say. I need to change some of my heavy duty pain and sleeping meds over a long time frame - which, along with the “underlying bubbling of past events” " all needs to be addressed " which I will do with the GP’s watchful eye.
First tho, I need some major sleep " which means knock out drops so that I do sleep. The lack of sleep is the first step. The reasoning is sound " tho I don’t like much having to be reasonable about these meds. There is a plan of action " but it’s gonna take some time. I will be doozy for a while longer so that I can still work " then, come the summer holidays " the plan will be actioned. I start tomorrow nite with being "knocked out"!
So, as I left the GP " the heavens opened " huge hailstorm and big sunshine!!!!! I got drenched. It felt good. I got in the car and started heading home...
Then this... (wee camera in car)
Little bit of cloud, little bit of sunshine " great big rainbow. Kinda sums it up really. Alex... sharing my rainbow with you " rain will put out the fire and pot of gold to cover up the destruction. ((Alex))
Wishing our Rock all the best with his culinary skills - good onya Rock!!!!