Personal References.

Reply Tue 29 Jan, 2008 03:30 pm
The only one I would trust enough in my last company to give me a personal reference is a guy I have the serious hots for, but he's from France and doesn't speak english. His French is so strong that most people in this area can't understand him either, so that's that.

I have already decided that my personal life is going to be kept personal and they either settle for my professional references or I keep looking. I refuse to burden people by asking them for references and they can take it or leave it.

It would be absurd for us to ask companies for personal references and I find it intrusive for them to ask us for them.

The last company I worked for did nothing but lie to me through their teeth the entire time I was employed there and they laid me off just a few months before I was due for my raise and benefits, so I think I should have been the one to get references from them before I put my trust in them.

I was nothing but honest with them and I worked my ass off in there, yet they lied to me, used me and threw me away like garbage right before I was to be compensated for all my hard work. Lost my vacation time as well.

They want to call my previous employers, fine! They want to do a criminal check, no problem! My personal life, however, is off limits from here on.

I only need a job for a few years and then I'm going into business for myself. Just a plain old labour work job on the night shift, so it's not like I'm going to be applying for some executive job or anything of that nature.

If all else fails, I'm more than welcome back at the lobster shop I worked at a few years ago. They would be thrilled to have me back, but that would mean 12-13 hour days, 6 days a week, where I'm sick with resperatory problems caused by the moisture and steam in a lobster plant atmosphere. I have asthma and my lungs can't handle the atmosphere in a fish plant, so that would be the very last resort.

Companies who have a night shift have trouble getting help in these parts, so I'm sure I'll find some place that isn't obsessed with the personal references and will hire me on without them.

I don't mean to go on and on about this, but it's something that has bothered me my entire working life (32 years) and I'm about fed up with it.
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Reply Tue 29 Jan, 2008 03:52 pm
I think you ought to have Amigo be a reference. If it's a matter of getting a job then turn the tables on them and have me be your closest friend forever. I will personally vouch for your reliability, competency etc.

Remember, these jamokes are really busy, so they aren't going to want details...for me, peeing in a cup is far more intrusive then giving out the names of aquaintences who have been life-long friends...
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Reply Tue 29 Jan, 2008 07:05 pm
I trully appreciate it Gala, but I've never applied for a job requiring me to pee in a cup (never happen) and now I will no longer take a job which requires me to give personal information.

These are things that I feel strongly enough about that I can't/won't go against what I believe in, or in this case, what I don't believe in.

I will take my old job back at the lobster shop if need be and I will deal with being sick as a dog from working there, before I stoop to working for any company who will not hire me without talking to my friends first.

It's not right and I can't pretend it is. I have absolutely no criminal record (not even a speeding ticket), I have several professional references they can call to vouch for my work history, but my personal life is off limits.

If it means that much to them, I don't want to work there.

I wonder how the companies would like it if we asked them for personal references! After all, why should I trust them? It works both ways and I know that they need me much more than I need them.

The last company I worked for screwed me, so maybe I'll start asking companies for references, so I can call their friends Cool
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Reply Wed 30 Jan, 2008 04:08 pm
lol, when i went to sign up for the marines they asked me for references.

i was like, umm yeah.. i got one??? it was pretty hilarious.
reading this post wasnt really a good idea for me. by not associating with people near me because they did drugs, i in fact screwed myself in the references department. gfg. because my parents moved me over 17 times during school too, yeah... umm there was that teacher in 7th grade, i knew her for 3 months hahahahahahaha.

i got alot of ******* work cut out for me , i hope college can provide everything society asks for in a working individual. cuz the hood' dint gimme shiz.

damned if you do, damned if you dont, as they say.
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Reply Wed 30 Jan, 2008 04:56 pm
Yeah, no kidding. Now we have to have friends to have a job. What's next?

Even if you have a million friends, it's a persons personal life and no business of theirs. I personally like my privacy and I share things in my personal life with whoever I care to share it with, but no one else gets to go there.
0 Replies
Walter Hinteler
Reply Wed 30 Jan, 2008 11:46 pm
dlowan wrote:
Not the same: Here, we provide names and contact details of three to four PROFESSIONAL referees, and the panel contact them by telephone to discuss you.

The questions can be very searching...but they don't contact people you do not name.....though the network tom-toms can be pretty active!!!!

That's what I meant, especially the network tom-tom.

I've never heard of PERSONAL references, can't think why they could be usefull at, and would never give them. (Besides that would be against working law, in my opinion.) (Edit: Which doesn't mean that it is possible that such happens!)
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Reply Thu 31 Jan, 2008 08:33 am
While living in the Midwest after I'd just graduated, I wanted to get a part-time job with a temp agency in between applying for full-time jobs and figuring out what to do--

What a pain the derriere. They a)wanted you to pee in a cup and b) they wanted you to take a battery of competency tests. Not just a 20 minute thing, more like, oh, I don't know, because I walked out after 20 minutes.

I was filled with bile over the whole encounter.

Similarly, one of my classmates wanted to get a waitressing job, but she couldn't get hired cause she wasn't from the area.

Whew. I am so glad to be away from there.

I agree with you, or your conviction anyway, about not applying for a job that requests certain things you find offensive. It helps you narrow down the distractions and actually gives a boost of confidence to say "no."
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Reply Thu 31 Jan, 2008 11:15 pm
Exactly! I always had a hard time saying "no" and I'm changing that. I'm tired of being a door mat!

My New Years resolution for this year is to never allow anyone to walk all over me. I've had just about enough of it.

Walter, I've always wondered why this wasn't illegal, but it's been like this since I started working at 12 years old (2 paper routes), so I just learned to accept it (not really, but I did it anyway).

I'm not accepting this anymore, so I hope I find a job that will accept that, so I don't end up back at the lobster shop Shocked
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Reply Fri 1 Feb, 2008 10:14 am
After reading along I am remembering more now. I don't think I had to give personal references back in the eighties for my boards. I think the last time must have been in the late 50's... and I understood it not to mean friends, so much, as, for example, one's doctor or church pastor, that sort of thing.
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Reply Sat 2 Feb, 2008 03:37 pm
They want people (anyone not family) who have known you for at least 5 years.

I'm not comfortable asking friends for references and I can't picture myself asking anyone else. It's a burden to people, or at least some people.

It's also an invasion of my privacy, so I won't be be giving into it anymore.

Work is abundant around here, so if they need help, they'll drop the personal reference crap and hire me for my excellent work related references. The phone #s are there and my ex employers can tell them all about how I am at work. If they're not satisfied with that, I have several resumes typed up and ready to go somewhere where they don't give a foopdeedoo ( Laughing ) about anything that's not work related.
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