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Thu 10 Jan, 2008 01:04 am
I was picked on quite badly in school (a gang of girls), where it turned into me being jumped every other day, slammed against lockers, etc. I quit school when I was 15 because I couldn't take it anymore. No regrets as I got my GED as soon as I could and was just happy to be free from the abuse.
After I left school, I figured the abuse would end, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I was still being attacked when I saw them walking down the street.
I knew I had to do something to protect myself, so I started lifting weights, Boy, that was the best thing I ever did for myself in more ways than I can express!
It kept me fit and built up my self esteme like you wouldn't believe. I felt great :-D
Then after 2 years of pumping myself up, I ran into gang girls one day. The leader of the pack starts coming towards me, as she always did and expected me to run, like I always did, but I just smiled and took off my jacket to show her my goods.
The look on that girls face was priceless and the moral of the story is that she is the one who ended up running away in the end and I learned a valuable lesson about standing up for yourself.
Thing is that to this day, I still jump on the defensive when someone picks at me (even just verbal picking or toying with me) and I wish I could just take it with a grain of salt like I see many people do.
When I get picked at, I get these flashbacks from way back when and I just pounce.
Has anyoone else had similar experiences?
Somewhat similar. I finally made a fight of it. I lost, but from then on, I was ready to fight and lose again, if need be. Didn't have to, though.
Oddly, I heard the story later, and I had changed into the winner. Wrong, but you don't shoot down your fans, or you are really going get bad mouthed.
Yeah, like me, it never happened again, although there never was a fight, it was presumed that I won. I got much respect from that gang after and even became friends with some of them.
Do you think it has any effect on who you are today Roger, or how you handle situations where you're being picked at?
I've been both the picker and pickee.
You were a picker Chumly?
Where you a bad picker or just one of the mild ones?
I was ultra harsh, I make fun of people, beat on them in the schoolyard, drank, smoked, broke windows, swiped cars, shoplifted, class clown, etc.......I gave it all up when I was 13 as a number of my friends ended up in juvenile detention.
No way! I don't believe you!
Truth!
My parents fought each other; my mom was an alcoholic.
I came home from school one day when I was only 15 years old to find all of my possessions thrown out on the street by my mom in a drunken rage. From that point forward I had to pretty much fend for myself.
My stepbrother committed suicide, my brother was picked up by the police for stealing a Harley.
The list is long.
I don't guess so, Montana. Maybe I learned that problems should be taken head on, and right now. Doesn't mean that's what I always do.
When I was in the 8th grade, the kid that sat in front of me for English class turned around in his seat, letting me have it in the mouth whith his fist. I had never even noticed him before. If he had dropped out prior to the moment, I would not have known of it. As it happened, my left front tooth had been broken on the floor, in a struggle, some years earlier. It had a jagged edge. The boy's knuckle was cut, and I scarcely felt an impact. He went to the teacher with his wound. "He bit me," I heard him say.
This guy proceeded from that day til the end of the school year to harrass me. He was about a year and a half older than I. Once, I determined to make a stand of it. When he taunted me one day, I took a fighter's stance and waited for him to come at me. He merely danced around me. He touched the top of my head and eluded my fists at the same time. Being a full head taller than me, he was able to get away with it.
Next school year, he had quit his education. He came up to the campus fence on a motorcycle, once. I noted that over the summer I had gotten to be his size. There was no revenge. I never saw him again.
When I enlisted and did time in the Navy boot camp, a guy tried the same tactic on me. I determined to stop him before it got out of hand. In his presence, I challenged the whole company to arm wrestle. The only taker was a very tall dude, who caved in immediately. I had been working in construction for a few years by this time and the dude had done nothing that strenuous his entire life. Upshot is, by doing a few things like that in the bully's presence, I made him back off with no confrontation.
I was picked on throughout my youth so badly and violently that I became rage filled and violent myself. I cut one kids throat and poured an entire can of Crisco I'd brought to a slow boil out of my walk up window onto a kid who was threatening to shoot me.
I found a young man who had broken into my house in my mid twenties and broke his arms with a ball bat.
I have been in quite a few violent conftontations in my life and I don't fear them because by the time I'm pushed to that point i don't give a ****.
I developed a well earned reputation in my younger yearsas a guy not to f**k with because I would go crazy on you.
As a comparitvely mature adult I have long put away my tendencies towards violent behavior but I don't like to be confronted and will still scrap if necessary.
As in most people who have had a violent past or continue a cycle of violence I believe it's usually a defense mechanism against residual fear.
no, was never picked on in a serious way. there was one girl who laughed at me for being such a good girl (i spoke without the heavy Bratislava dialect and I could not curse - would not go naturally through my mouth)... That bothered me then, but in retrospect i guess it's a good thing. my parents' friends daughter who was two years older and much bigger, had a bully summer, so i got picked on quite a bit but the whole thing was just a few weeks long. she still apologizes profusely to this day and is embarassed by it. other than that, nada. i was a happy lucky child.
Chumly wrote:Truth!
My parents fought each other; my mom was an alcoholic.
I came home from school one day when I was only 15 years old to find all of my possessions thrown out on the street by my mom in a drunken rage. From that point forward I had to pretty much fend for myself.
My stepbrother committed suicide, my brother was picked up by the police for stealing a Harley.
The list is long.
Jesus Chumly, I'm so sorry to hear that. You had it even worse than I did. At least I was safe at home.
edgarblythe wrote:When I was in the 8th grade, the kid that sat in front of me for English class turned around in his seat, letting me have it in the mouth whith his fist. I had never even noticed him before. If he had dropped out prior to the moment, I would not have known of it. As it happened, my left front tooth had been broken on the floor, in a struggle, some years earlier. It had a jagged edge. The boy's knuckle was cut, and I scarcely felt an impact. He went to the teacher with his wound. "He bit me," I heard him say.
This guy proceeded from that day til the end of the school year to harrass me. He was about a year and a half older than I. Once, I determined to make a stand of it. When he taunted me one day, I took a fighter's stance and waited for him to come at me. He merely danced around me. He touched the top of my head and eluded my fists at the same time. Being a full head taller than me, he was able to get away with it.
Next school year, he had quit his education. He came up to the campus fence on a motorcycle, once. I noted that over the summer I had gotten to be his size. There was no revenge. I never saw him again.
When I enlisted and did time in the Navy boot camp, a guy tried the same tactic on me. I determined to stop him before it got out of hand. In his presence, I challenged the whole company to arm wrestle. The only taker was a very tall dude, who caved in immediately. I had been working in construction for a few years by this time and the dude had done nothing that strenuous his entire life. Upshot is, by doing a few things like that in the bully's presence, I made him back off with no confrontation.
Yup, I can relate to that. That's the position I found myself in and everything was nice and peaceful after I learned to stand up for myself :-D
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:I was picked on throughout my youth so badly and violently that I became rage filled and violent myself. I cut one kids throat and poured an entire can of Crisco I'd brought to a slow boil out of my walk up window onto a kid who was threatening to shoot me.
I found a young man who had broken into my house in my mid twenties and broke his arms with a ball bat.
I have been in quite a few violent conftontations in my life and I don't fear them because by the time I'm pushed to that point i don't give a ****.
I developed a well earned reputation in my younger yearsas a guy not to f**k with because I would go crazy on you.
As a comparitvely mature adult I have long put away my tendencies towards violent behavior but I don't like to be confronted and will still scrap if necessary.
As in most people who have had a violent past or continue a cycle of violence I believe it's usually a defense mechanism against residual fear.
Yup, I can relate to this too. The rage get so intense that you automatically fall into "I don't give a ****" mode.
I too, became known as someone not to f**k with and that was just fine with me. If making people think I was nuts kept me safe, then that's the way it had to be.
Bloody freakin shame, though!
dagmaraka wrote:no, was never picked on in a serious way. there was one girl who laughed at me for being such a good girl (i spoke without the heavy Bratislava dialect and I could not curse - would not go naturally through my mouth)... That bothered me then, but in retrospect i guess it's a good thing. my parents' friends daughter who was two years older and much bigger, had a bully summer, so i got picked on quite a bit but the whole thing was just a few weeks long. she still apologizes profusely to this day and is embarassed by it. other than that, nada. i was a happy lucky child.
I would have given my right arm Dag :-D I envy you!
I was never picked on - but I worry about my boys. They are really small for their age. Apparently they are not going to be real tall ( taking after me
) It has been good to read this thread though. They already get teased a lot for being so little - they are twins and different as night and day...one of them could give a rats petoot and the other is now paranoid about being small...so he has started this bravado that is somewhat annoying....bless his sweet heart -
mismi40 wrote:I was never picked on - but I worry about my boys. They are really small for their age. Apparently they are not going to be real tall ( taking after me
) It has been good to read this thread though. They already get teased a lot for being so little - they are twins and different as night and day...one of them could give a rats petoot and the other is now paranoid about being small...so he has started this bravado that is somewhat annoying....bless his sweet heart -
one of the reasons I was picked on was because I was so small... except for Seth alll my cubs are small... and the last people on earth you want to mess with. It's not the dog in the fight.... it's the fight in the dog...
They have pretty fiery tempers (that they got from their Daddy :wink: ) and so I am sure we can teach them to control them - but it sure gives them pluck! My smallest is a firecracker - but I still worry...
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