Hello MrHunt,
This caught my eye :
Quote:Because I Honestly Would like to have SOMETHING to beleive In....
Id like to have SOMETHING to Look Forward to...
all of that,Id love to be more positive and whatnot...
But i Keep Feeling as if I WERE to beleive In that sorta Stuff id just be beleiving a Lie and LIVING a lie....and that Would just be worse...
A thought struck me - have you ever read Viktor Frankl's "Mans search for meaning"? (it's a very short book)
It's not about the meaning of life, which I think is too elusive a question...
...it is about finding meaning in everyday things. Frankl was a Jewish psychologist who was imprisoned in the German deathcamps during WW2, including Auschwitz. In one poignant sentence he states "Those of us who were there know, the best of us never made it out", and another reads along the lines of "They could take everything from us, but the last of the human freedoms - to choose the attitude with which we would face any given circumstance'.
In terms of meaning for example, do you like seeing smiles on other peoples faces? If so, that has meaning. Do you like comraderie? If so, that has meaning. Do you like helping people - if so, it has meaning, your values have meaning, how you view yourself has meaning...etc etc. Even in things you don't like, there is meaning. I hate cleaning the dishes, but I like a clean house - so there is meaning in cleaning the dishes. Sometimes it helps to keep the end goal (the meaning) in mind, though often it is the process itself which has meaning.
A note : perhaps failure only occurs where the end goal, or perfection has meaning.
