I Feel Lost,Help Me (My View/question on life And so forth)

Then one of two things are happening in my opinion. Either you haven't found something that matters to YOU, or you are clinically (chemically) depressed to a point where you are apathetic about things that you used to be passionate about.

I'm 34 with an 8-year college degree and I'm a busboy. I wash dishes for a living at a bar, but the interaction with the customers absolutely thrills me. I get to pour drinks, chat, and I love my job. But I also battle with depression, and if I'm having a "bad" day I find myself wishing i were sick so I don't have to go to work. I also customize cars. Even if I'm just upgrading to a new pair of fuzzy dice it rewards me incredibly. What you do doesn't have to make an impression on someone else. I used to get envious of the attention my relatives got at reunions because they're all firefighters and policemen or military. Everyone thinks thats a noble choice and it really makes a difference. But I actually place a higher value on my busboy job than my cousin's military job. Why? Because I love my job and chose it for MY merit. He chose his job because his father was military and he hates his job.

Everybody loves my cousin because he protects america's freedom and that's noble. I love myself because I wash dishes and fix cars and that's my choice. Make sure your choice make a difference to YOU. Think about plumbers or garbage men. Some of them love their jobs, but I know a lot of doctors who hate their jobs.

Thank you curtis.I appreciate it.

As far as Contrex goes....Im Certainly Not whining and Im Certainly No Troll.I dont appreciate your poor atitude And As someone else in the thread said "If you dont have anything good to say dont say anything at all"

No need to be a dick to me.

Ok, I remove the question mark --- Humanity.

It's never about me, or you, or contrex, or anyone else. It's about us and those who come next. What I do for me and my family and for those around us is so that they can do for themselves and their families and for those around them.

mrhunt, some interesting concerns, shared by a great deal at one time or another I'm sure, take solace from that at least. I have some thoughts anyway for what it's worth. I'd definitely echo the suggestions from others to understand who you are, you and the world go hand in hand, two sides of the same coin. To me life is very impermanent and transitive, intrinsically so. I know you said you aren't looking for any answers and I have none because I don't think such things can be transmitted in words as little guidelines and such. I do think though that identifying too heavily with our list of little attributes like nihilist or atheist can cause trouble, even if those beliefs are "positive", if nothing else, those beliefs then become posts to lean on or react against. I think you touched on this with the worry about how being a nihilist or whatever was leading you down a bad path. I would say it is the over attachment to the belief, more than the belief itself that is the problem, when we over-identify with little tags like these our world becomes very small, rigid and lifeless.

I thought what you said about how even saving lives is pointless in an "ultimate" sense. These questions and your dismissal of reasons for doing what we do that are more momentary and situational are suggestive of your current perspective a little IMO, I really think it's worth considering this a bit more. I'll try and explain with some examples. You want what you do in each moment to have some fixed, specific, inspiring reason behind it but you've cottoned on to the fact that these things, like targets or people, are a bit loose and fragile hence the suggestion of them lacking an "ultimate" purpose, they have no constant presence and relation to us so the benefit/reward of acting because of them is relative etc. The problem to me seems that these possible reasons be they people or anything else, are always projections and as such are always relative and impermanent, so we're looking for the fixed i.e the permanent in the impermanent, that's quite a problem.

What I consider instead is, what do I have to work with, what is there open to me? Well, the moment itself I think, the situation we find ourselves in, this, for me, is the ultimate. Like I said, "I" and the world are incredibly closely linked, so if we can embrace impermanence just a little more, really see the reality of it and appreciate "just doing" for it's own sake, "I" can take on a drastically new perspective and it is our perspective that sculpts our present moment.

Of course I'm not saying forget targets, forget the world, of course not, that's near impossible anyway (the person who you save as an emergency service worker will quite naturally and instinctively consider your actions to have been quite point-full!) but just in terms of the series of moments we find ourselves in. Thinking more widely I agree with JPB about humanity, no man is an island unto himself and I think you're feelings regards being a paramedic are akin to finding you're own meaning in others and their own dance as it were.

Check out Alan Watts' Wisdom of Insecurity, it's a wonderfully concise, little book that asks many similar questions. P.S. You don't need to be religious or be a member of a religion to consider the ideas religions propose, some of which are pretty starkling and well worth consideration.

Nods to ashers' post...

MrHunt

First off, let me say that I can relate to how you feel. I've had similar feelings in the past, and many of my friends have them too.

What you need is a loose end. Somewhere to pick up a thread that will lead you out of the black hole you're in. I am sure that you didn't just wake up one day feeling the way you do. You came to feeling like this as a result of a chain of thoughts and events, most likely, and changing your outlook is equally a process. But that is what you need to do.

Unfortunately, no one can tell you where to start that process or how to go about it.
A psychologist could guide you, but only by listening to your story and asking the right questions at the right time. But the answers would have to come from you.

You say that your views are leading you to a suicidal point of view in life. There may be no point to life, but from the personal experience of being close to people who have committed suicide I can tell you that while this action may end your misery, it is bound to cast those who care about you into a proverbial hell. So there's definetly a point to not doing that.

Anyway, it seems to me that the main cause for you feeling the way you do is the way you think. No offence intended here, but your views on life are dragging you down. One thing I've come to realize is that truth is a matter of subjective perspective. You're down in a hole, and from where you're standing life is pointless and depressing. Find another perspective.
This is easier said than done, but the mere genuine resolve to do so should provide some results and be an inspiration to continue.

I wish you happy holidays and hope that your horizon brightens in time. It is a dark place you're in, and if you don't believe in the light of the world, that may actually be a good thing, because it can lead you to discover the light within yourself.

Cyr

thank you very much to cyrazcus and ashers posts....both Very thought Provoking and Wonderful.

I would like to Point out that i Am NOT a paramedic and it was merely an example and A major Goal In my life to oneday become one...It sorta seemed like ashers thought i was one....

Also Cyracuz....You know,I Dont Always feel this way But it Sorta Concerns me How often I DO feel this way....More so than not. And ive thought To myself About changing my point of view on life....Thinking that Maybe i Should Go to a church and just try it out?

Because I Honestly Would like to have SOMETHING to beleive In....
Id like to have SOMETHING to Look Forward to...
all of that,Id love to be more positive and whatnot...

But i Keep Feeling as if I WERE to beleive In that sorta Stuff id just be beleiving a Lie and LIVING a lie....and that Would just be worse...

But I Do Have Some goals That i Think im going to Try To More Seriously Persue...Right Now IM working about 14 hours a day 5 to 7 days a week trying to get enough money together to do what i want and once im there im Going to Try to start acheiving my goals...and While it might not make my views on life any different i think it may be a starT?

Personally I wouldn't advice you to adopt a faith. Faith comes from within, and there are many things to invest it in. You don't need christianity, and as far as I'm concerned, the world doesn't need one more biblethumper.

There are other ways to strengthen faith. For instance, you can read the alchemist, by Paulo Coelho if you haven't already. It's a relatively short story, and it's a very inspiring tale. Also, the book Siddharta by Herman Hesse is a book about the spiritual quest of man. It's not a religious book, and I would advice you to read it, mainly because it is a good tale. For myself, that book changed my perspective on many things.

Both books are easy reading.

By the way, I am curious about your use of capitals. Is there a point, or has your caps button got a life of it's own? :wink:

If you want to adopt a faith, thats up to you, but I would consider looking into it. Before you just start believing, look into what people have said about, whatever religion you may adopt. If you want something that will keep your mind occupied, for a long time, try studying philosophy.

One should not be surprised by failure. How many failures did Edison need to perfect the light bulb?

What I wonder about is the degree to which you experience these feelings. Nearly all of us have them from time to time. From what you have said, they don't seem to be preventing you from coping with everyday life, so your problem may be as simple as searching for a worthy goal.

Many suggestions have been made by my esteemed a2k colleagues; but I would offer one more: Study the bible as literature and philosophy - and as an explanation of the underpinnings of Western thought. It might just round out your personality.

Neo
The bible as philosophy is not something you can study. It is way too incoherent for that since it has been used for so many purposes, and was not compiled to be a book that fosters understanding.

Better to ignore the bible until one has a foundation of ideas to contrast it against.

You can study the bible, then believe what you want. the reason I look into such things is because I am skeptical about the bible, and the existence of God.

It is convenient to label as incoherent those expositions which challenge one's level of comfort.

The bible doesn't challenge my comfort. It strains my credulity.

When it comes to the bible, coherency is something supplied by the reader.

You don't need to have religion to have faith. Faith can be the path to the pinnacle of human enlightenment. Religion can be its greatest hinderance.

Re: I Feel Lost,Help Me (My View/question on life And so for


Because there is no better alternative.

You are here, you are alive, and you aren't going to kill yourself, are you? So what are your options? You can wallow in self-pity and misery until you're dead, or you can stop focusing on all this dark **** and just live your life and try to be happy. It is a dead end either way, but you can choose your own reaction to that fact. Wallow in misery, or make the best of it. Your choice.

Besides, it's really all about perspective. From this perspective you seem to have fallen in love with--the "ultimate" perspective--of course you will only see pointlessness. In fact, if you examine everything in terms of everything that has been, everything that is, and everything that will ever be, then even the millions of people who have been killed in wars over the ages are merely a blip on the radar. Not even worth a second thought.

So don't look at the world that way. At least, don't focus all your energies on it.

If you look at the world in a smaller light, like for instance just you, your friends, and your loved ones, things really DO matter. If you don't believe me, then why don't you try cutting your favorite person in the world out of your life for good? Do you think that would have meaning to you?

How about the really small perspective. Just your brain, for instance. What if you took a fork and jammed it into your ear until it destroyed just a little piece of your brain, the part that handles all the bodily excretions that you need to do each day. Just a tiny little piece of your brain. Not even a thousandth of everything that makes up your body. Do you think that would matter to you?

Pick a different way to look at and react to things. Life can have as much or as little meaning as you choose.

Re: I Feel Lost,Help Me (My View/question on life And so for


I said the same thing, more or less, and got told I was "dumb" and unhelpful.

you said you get up in the morning To Take a crap and Go To Work....That IS Dumb and Unhelpful.....Sorry For My being honest.

That was the short answer. Did you read the following expanded, long answer?

You seem to be annoyed because my answer didn't say "there there dear, I'm paying lots of attention to your oh-so-important problems!".

Basically, I was saying, "Get a life!"

EXACTLY.

Im not looking for pitty here so don't misunderstand the intentions of my post.
That is EXACTLY what you were saying "Get a life!" When i have one and im just posting a topic on a forum...So whats wrong with that? Dozens of other people were more than willing To Further Delve Into A more than Valid Subject without being Rude So i find it funny that you cant and you have to now go attacking me in other threads.

You don't know me and cant judge me From One or two Topics on the internet So it More sounds as if YOU should get a life and Stop with this...

If you have nothing to contribute to my threads or Aren't Intelligent Enough to Understand the TRUE Topic of this thread Then just stay out.

(Watch,he's Gonna start to pick on my spelling next and puncuation)[size=7][/size]