)
) So, of course, I much prefer a Labor government, even if it doesn't always behave like the type of Labor government I'd have if I had my druthers. And I think criticism can be quite healthy. (For god's sake, we wouldn't want Kevin to develop an even bigger ego & believe everything he does is absolutely correct, would we? I still have a lot of respect for Julia, even though she's gotten the education "reforms" wrong. But the Greens policies appeal to me most, these days. Actually, they have for quite a time, now. Did you see the G20 cartoon - a participant says 'I want to be able to tell my grandkids I was there when it didn't happen.'
Obama: Watching Bush and Howard fawn over each other made me sick!
Rudd: I've loved you since the moment I first saw you.
Spot on, Wilcox. That is very funny! 
Goodbye JH!
Hello Kevin07 & a brand new Labor government!
We can start talking about Labor in power here!:
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, omsig!!!!
Kevin indeed stands in the red corner.
AND WE ARE GONNA BRING YOU DOWN WITH US!!!!
As I speak, hordes of rabid comunist rabbits are infecting your wild-life.
The 'roos are pouching your weeapons of mass destruction.
The possums are weeing in your guns.
Then.....battalions of Sydney gays are corrupting your soldiers with their orgasmic wiles.....
Soon....you will surrender your machine guns, and mingle your vital essences with the nubile surfer shock troops.
Your compound we plan to infiltrate with pheromone impregnated wombats, who will destroy your fences while imbuing you with helpless giggles, the munchies, and an irresistible desire to embrace your brothern and sistren while weeping and declaiming "this is so cool man".
I, personally, shall instruct you in spelling.
All is lost.
Resistance is useless.
Australia gets drunk, wakes up in North Atlantic
After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic.
"Good Lord, that was a booze up," said a bleary-eyed Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, speaking from his residence at Kirribilli House, approximately 600 nautical miles east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.
According to Australians and residents of several countries destroyed or lewdly insulted during the continent's nearly 7,000-mile saltwater stagger, the binge began just after noon yesterday at a pub in Brisbane, where several patrons were discussing Australia Day (Jan. 26) and the nation's general lack of respect from abroad.
"It started off same as always; coupla fossils saying how our Banjo Patterson was a better poet than Walt Whitman, how Con the Fruiterer is funnier than Seinfeld, only they're Aussies so no one knows about 'em," recalled witness Michael Ewen. "Then this bloke Martin pipes up and says
Australia's main problem is that it's stuck in Australia, and everybody says 'Too right!'"
"Well, it made sense at the time," Ewen added.
By 2 a.m., powered by national pride and alcohol, the 3-million-square-mile land mass was barging eastward through the Coral Sea and crossing into the central Pacific, leaving a trail of beer cans and Chinese take-aways in its wake.
When dawn broke over the Northern Hemisphere, the continent suddenly found itself smack in the middle of the Atlantic, and according to most of its 19 million inhabitants, that's the way it's going to stay.
"We sent troops to Afghanistan. You never hear about it. We have huge government scandals. You never hear about it. It's all 'America did this,' and 'Europe says that,'" exclaimed Perth resident Arron Gunthorpe. "Well, we're right in the thick of things now, so let's just see if you can ignore us."
Officials on both sides of the Atlantic conceded that would be difficult. "They broke Florida," said U.S. State Department spokesman Richard Boucher. "And most of Latin America is missing."
Meanwhile, victims of what's already been dubbed the "Australian Crawl" are still shaking off the event.
"Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time," said the Spanish President Juan Carlos. "They were very friendly, they always seem friendly but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible! Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?'"
"Fortunately, somebody here had an Unimportant World Dates calendar and we aced the last one," President Carlos added.
By late morning today, however, not everyone in Australia was quite so blithe. "We've still got part of Jamaica stuck to Queensland," said Australian army commander Lt. Gen. Peter Cosgrove. "I think we might have declared war on it. I don't bloody remember. Maybe it's time to go home."
Cosgrove, however, is not in the majority, and at press time, U.S., African, and European leaders were still desperately trying to negotiate for Australia's withdrawal. But the independent-minded Aussies were not making it easy.
In a two-hour meeting at midday, Australian representatives listed their demands:
Immediate inclusion in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization,
A permanent CNN presence in all 6 Australian states,
A worldwide ban on hiring Paul Hogan,
A primetime U.S. television contract for Australian Rules Football,
U.S. negotiators immediately walked out, calling the Australian Rules Football request "absurd."
