petunia, WELCOME to A2K. c.i.
Petunia
Read the thread.
I am not worried what anyone thinks. I had a momentary twinge -- and I decided to explore it in public.
Okay, Frank, we'll write it off to "momentary twinge."
This is all about self-images.
You are skilfully attempting to ameliorate the possibly negative connotations of "being concerned about what people might think about dress" with the positive connotations of " being a respected provider of interesting threads".
These positives and negatives are only valid for you! ...("you" with a small "y" that is as opposed to "You" that can spot such games of self-image trading!).
Frank, a symbol is an arbitrary designation. I assume that a copper bracelet or a black leather strap with siliver spikes would not have caused the same "momentary twinge" that the red fluffy hair tie did. Why? What is it about a hair tie that designates "fruit"? Gender association, color, function, location on the body? As we manufacture symbols for our own purposes, and there is nothing inherent in the hair tie other than its primary function to designate anything, why did it draw a "fruity" meaning from you? What I am trying to get at here is how do we apply meaning to things or if you will manufacture symbols?
Quote:I left the thingy on -- but it definitely was on my mind that "real men" don't often wear bright red wristbands. In fact, the thought that started to creep into my mind was to question if "real men" wear wristbands at all.
Why are we straight guys so often concerned about stuff like that?
I don't know that the whole idea has much to do with what "real men" do or don't do. If you are using "real men" to refer to "straight men" I'd simply say that I haven't noticed many gay men wearing bright red wristbands either.
I'd guess the whole thing just goes back to "what is normal?". Men generally don't wear brightly colored wristbands in our society and to a lot of people being gay still isn't "normal". Anything that doesn't pass the "normal test" gets lumped together as all being the same thing. If you add up all the people that do things that aren't "normal" it would pretty much make all of us.
Red is a good color for someone that walks the beach a lot though. It should look smashing against a good tan.
fishin's quote: " If you add up all the people that do things that aren't "normal" it would pretty much make all of us." This says it all; but self-inspection is also 'normal.'
c.i.
Quote:I'd guess the whole thing just goes back to "what is normal?". Men generally don't wear brightly colored wristbands in our society
i just talked to some of the people at work about this - we've got no a/c, half the lights are off, and our brains are turning to mush so we may not be thinking clearly - one of the young guys pointed out that he doesn't see women wearing bright red or other brightly coloured wristbands either. The only times he could think of women wearing wristbands at all was proms and weddings. Sooooo, he says it's not fruity, just different, and that's o.k. Pretty smart for a 19 year-old.
Frank, I did read the thread....sorry to offend you...not my intention at all, the question was really for me, I guess, and most humans who question at times what someone sees about us...not meant to be accusatory at all....please forgive
Nothing to forgive, Petunia.
Welcome to A2K.
Stick around -- it is a great forum.
A tad ostracizing on the political side, but intellectually very rewarding indeed.
Danger from red thingies.
Sorry, but the sodomizing rapists of the world like Jeffrey Dahmer are especially attracted to "red thingies." Seriously, though, it is a matter of safety. If you look like you might want to be hit on by guys, that puts you at danger much the same way a woman is put into danger by, say, being the only one wearing a bikini where unruly men are on the prowl. Not only that, but sexual predators prefer artistic looking people (like people wearing superfluous red thingies), emotional types making more compliant slaves. And that red thingie might make it look like you want to be effeminized, a definite attraction to those who seek to effeminize males by force. That's probably at least partly why it is customary to say hello. Predators have an advantage if they can without giving alarm size up someone's emotional susceptibility before being noticed. Hearing "hello" from a stranger allows you to drop whatever reverie you are in, and if you don't hear hello or other noises from him, you know to watch out.
There is a reason why football players and boxers often wear earrings. They can usually beat up those males who might attack them.
Females tending not to make the first move in relationships, they don't need to judge so much by appearances, which explains why more decorative clothing tends to be viewed as effeminate. So really, it is no important moral quest IMHO to insist on not letting sodomizing rapists slightly dictate your fashion sense. In fact, I would probably even say there is a compensating moral advantage to men dressing so it is considered improper for those who are more susceptible to abuse to reveal that tendency. That makes men as a whole safer.
All that said, wearing a red thingie seems quite innocuous. I'd do it myself, probably, if that was the convenient way to carry it. (Carrying a woman's purse is what frequently bothers me, though I'll even do that if it is a significant convenience to a female.) I remember once when I taught math I kept my lecture notes in a folder I got at the drug store with a pretty pastel drawing of a kitten on it (something a pretty junior high school girl might use). I knew people might think it gay, but somehow it seemed an important expression of, I don't know, my indifference for academic pomposity. Sure enough, when I was on the subway reviewing my notes, some guy offered to sit next to me all nervous looking like he was trying to start some gay relationship with me. The expression I gave him was so startling and unexpected to him some lady across the car couldn't help burst out laughing. Yeah, he summed me up wrong. I was none the worse for it, and he didn't strike me as being a dangerous type anyway.
AND THIS THREAD BELONGS TO THE PHILOSOPHY AND DEBATE FORUM?
So, listen, Frank, ne're mind the Crips, the wrist band is only a good thing. My view is go for it, add on.
Frank; have you considered, perhaps, a 'flaming' RED dress?
BoGoWo - should we make a red wrist thingie our A2K signal for next week?
(disappointed)
aw shucks, i thought we were all goin' to wear clown outfits.
maybe a red spot on the tips of our noses?
ehBeth, Wouldn't it be funny if that red wrist thingie became our badge i.d. for all A2K Gatherings?
hmmmmm, well i think i still have a red nose thingie from a santa clause parade. would i wear it to a restaurant to meet BoGoWo? <<looks left, looks right, thinks>>
