Movie: Ordinary People

This oscar winner from the past has always "spoken to me". I have
seen it many times, but never tire of it. Donald Sutherland as the Dad, and Mary Tyler Moore as the Mom, are priceless in their respective
roles. It does date itself by Mary being furious at the Dad for letting
one of their friends know that their son is seeing a psychiatrist. But,
no matter. The family had two sons, and one has recently drowned
in a boating accident, the son who survived is drowning in guilt, loss,
grief & he attempted suicide and really meant to do it. Jeremy (the
living son) seems lost, unable to connect with any of their old friends, unable to deal with the being the boy marked at school as "that is the
kid whose brother drowned". Finally, the boy does begin seeing a psychiatrist, whose performance was excellent ( though I can not remember who played that role). I think that one of the reasons this
was an Oscar winner in its year is that is has universal appeal. We
watch ordinary people coming to accept life on life's terms; or refusing
to. We see how an individuals desire for, ability to and fearlessness to seek outside help when the going gets way too hard. How many couples
who have lost a child ( be it to an accident, illness, or a violent crime )
end up getting divorced??? Never able to recover. Mary plays her role
so flawlessly, she is remarkable as the consciencious, picture perfect Mom, yet throughout the entire film - is devoid of emotion. Like a
doll, or a bug captured in tree sap and stuck there - rigid and immobile, for eternity. Donald Sutherland's performance is so very real. He is
genuinely terrified at the idea of losing their only remaining son, and
does his utmost to try to "be there for their son". Mary as Mom resents this attention totally. She expects everyone to play their part THE WAY
SHE DOES. Never let outsiders have any idea what is really going on
inside OUR closed doors. How many of us are like this. Expecting others
to deal with, or not deal with, some of lifetime's hardest things to cope with. As Donald's business buddy tries to tell him to let it go, the son
will grow up & go off to college, and then you will rarely ever see him again. But, as the concerned parent, Dad has to keep an eye on his
son. He senses that danger is still there, and it is. His keen awareness about his son, is so compelling - it may be THIS that so attracts me to
this movie. Growing up with an alcoholic, bipolar & generally insane mother AND a workaholic father; it does strike a chord in me..... about the caring never received. Just as the movie reaches its crisis point;
Dad watches as Mom rejects the son's embrace, the kid is REALLY trying so hard, but there was just nothing there in her. When Dad tries to talk
to Mom about his feelings, big surprise!! Mary just silently, swiftly, eloquently & completely devoid of any emotion- goes to the bedroom, packs her bags, calls a cab, and is gone. Truly chilling performance.