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HOW DO WE DEFINE A PEDOPHILE ?

 
 
ryunin
 
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Reply Tue 16 Oct, 2007 10:24 am
OmSIgDavid and agrote, you guys make a lot of sense

what is going on in the world, especially in the US with sueing people is getting out of control

it seems labels and stereotypes and stupid rigid rules began to rule the modern world, human beings passively onlooking to the mess

For example the problem of deciding who is emotianally mature to handle
sex intercourse emotionally.

I know very old people who are not mature enough to handle anything emotionally, let alone sex.

There are 15 year old kids who are more reasonable and more mature than some 50 year old people. So there are always lots of different criteria that have to be considered. Not just two or three rules. Lawyers and those who make those laws should be mature, wise, emotionally stable people with a lot of experience. But that is not the case.

Some time ago I consulted a lot of stuff here relating to my job as a teacher and also asked about my girlfriend and her problems as an au pair. I have been virtually fired several times by some members at this forums and labeled as dangerous,
immature, near paedophile case, and other things, my girlfriend was also fired virtually by those who read her problem. The strange thing is that my girl friend was very much respected and received the most warm good bye when leaving the kids and the parents. I also have a very stable and well respected position at the place where I teach and the administration does their best to keep me there. But the people at this forum who don't know all aspects of different difficult matters are quick with solutions and labels. These people would fire just about anyone know does not stick to the rigid rules of their rigid minds. Of course we have to act responsibly, we have to consider how we may hurt and harm others. We do it normally from the morning till bedtime. And then continue. We all have to do our best and try to live in harmony with others. But the world is a crazy, complicated thing itself so the only thing we can do is try. And learn from our mistakes. And be grateful for all mistakes we have made as they are
part of our precious life.
0 Replies
 
ryunin
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Oct, 2007 11:38 am
it is a complicated matter, a sickness, morals and laws all mixed up

I think all people have some weird ideas and fantasies. All of us. The problem is that it is legal to think like a Nazi, but it is illegal to act like a Nazi. It is legal to imagine having sex with a 10 year old kid, but it is illegal to do it.

Our culture is based on rules that are related to our actions, but the way we think is another matter, usually not taken into consideration. Hypocricy is abundant. When I write all strange and weird things that sometimes come to my mind, you will call the police, you will do your best to get me locked in prison. The only difference between me and you will be that you will keep your ideas closed and safe.

Should we try to change our thinking? Should we stop our weird perverted
dreams and fantasies? I think there are two different things - something I would call garbage thinking, or excessive fantasy. It is like saliva, produced automatically in our brain almost all the time. There is absolutely no way how to stop that garbage. Then there is another kind of thinking, something we take seriously, we learn from others, from wise people, read books, discuss on the internet, argue, come to conclusions. When we are hypocrats, we just keep arguing and in fact continue our lousy life
no matter what we read or what we argue about. When we are sincere,
we see if there is a chance to turn our ideals into reality. The greatest personalities of human history were those who turned their ideals into life.
For example Jesus Christ, Buddha, Winston Churchill and others.

So what happens on the other extreme? Who is opposing the greatest personalities of human history? People whose garbage saliva excessive thoughts and fantasies turned into reality. Hitler, for example.

Everyone is perverted to a certain degree. By perveted I mean having weird, secret, crazy, dirty, nasty fantasies about sex. I think there is some kind of function of brain that is responsible for producing as many weird sexual fantasies as possible. People who are very morally oriented, very conservative, must suffer a lot as they keep trying to stop those fantasies from happening. Thank God watching porn is not illegal cause it is very helpful. If we don't let those fantasies out then they are transformed into some very weird features of our character. So people who hide their fantasies tend to act like they have no such fantasies and like to criticize whoever seems to be loose and relaxed about them.

Now these moralists feel it is necessary to protect those who are still pure.
The problem is that the moment we are born, we are already pretty weird and soon begin to do our weird things freely. As infants, nobody cares, later when we masturbate at the age of 5 and our parents are those
narrow minded types, they may scare us, stop us, threaten, but that only makes something natural something terrible, something that is scary itself.
THis is where our own future rigid attitude starts.

So instead of protecting kids, women and elderly, we should find ways how to naturally show the kids women and elderly how weird and crazy the world is. And this is what some of those great artists did, for example Fellini. THe greatest of artists show sincerely what is going on in human mind and how it shows in the way we act. The greatest artists always attack the rigid minds and the rigid minds say those artists are too strange, weird... No, they just show the truth.

So children, no matter how much we should love them and protect them, will not benefit much from being permanently hidden from the truth. IT is not possible actually cuz they themselves represent some of the strange, weird examples of human fantasy. They are full of fear, dreams, terrible thoughts. That is life.

There must be some kind of sensible compromise between overprotecting
every little tiny creature from the world and acting like wild beasts and attack anyone anytime and do anything we want to do. A sincere, sensible person feels where the area of reality is.

A paedophile may be someone who suffers from an illness and does his or her best do handle it so no harm is done to themselves or others.

I guess my post is too long and off topic. Well, I am a weird guy!
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