A "Hints for Happier Living" Digression.

I can't think of any piece of advice for a happier life which is more succinct and to the point than that which i heard Alfred Hitchcock pronounce at an awards ceremony once, many years ago.

"Stay out of jail."

(That's gaol for our spelling-challenged cousins.)

That's excellent advice, Egyptian god / social insect / vowel. Thanks.

1 Jalopenas are a spice not an entree.


2 Never try to get a skunk to eat out of your hand and then have somebody take a picture .


3. Never buy a used motorcycle.

Youre questioning sound advice? Go ahead go feed a skunk and get someone to take a flash picture , see what you smell like for a few weeks.

When you go up to order your next pitcher of beer, and get carded and you've forgotten your id, don't giggle like a teenage girl and fumble your money when the guy behind the counter cuts you a break.

Never feed an abandoned baby squirrel cow's milk.

When someone takes the trouble to cook for you, always declare that the meal was absolutely delicious, no matter how downright disgusting & unpalatable the food really was. It's the thought that counts!

Even if it's rhubarb tops?

dlowan wrote:

Even if it's rhubarb tops?

Yes, even rhubarb tops.
Just smile fetchingly & declare "My, these are the tastiest rhubarb tops I've ever eaten! Could I have the recipe, please?"

(Here's a confession......sometimes, when he was at his worst, I used to fantasise feeding my father a nice rhubarb pie...FULL of dyed green tops. Or stirring his te with an oleander branch.)

dlowan wrote:

(Here's a confession......sometimes, when he was at his worst, I used to fantasise feeding my father a nice rhubarb pie...FULL of dyed green tops. Or stirring his te with an oleander branch.)

Evil, evil rabbit!

Tsk tsk!

You...like....know they're poisonous, right?

dlowan wrote:

You...like....know they're poisonous, right?

Indeed I do.
But it is vitally important to display good manners & maintain proper etiquette, even under extreme pressure!

(You could always rush from the room & spit the disgusting, poisonous stuff out, after creating a distraction at an appropriate moment!)

msolga wrote:

dlowan wrote:

You...like....know they're poisonous, right?

Indeed I do.
But it is vitally important to display good manners & maintain proper etiquette, even under extreme pressure!

(You could always rush from the room & spit the disgusting, poisonous stuff out, after creating a distraction at an appropriate moment!)

So you wouldn't delicately feed it to the dog under the table, or anything?





I had a boyfriend who used to pour the punch in the potplants.

dlowan wrote:

msolga wrote:

dlowan wrote:

You...like....know they're poisonous, right?

Indeed I do.
But it is vitally important to display good manners & maintain proper etiquette, even under extreme pressure!

(You could always rush from the room & spit the disgusting, poisonous stuff out, after creating a distraction at an appropriate moment!)

So you wouldn't delicately feed it to the dog under the table, or anything?





I had a boyfriend who used to pour the punch in the potplants.

No, I wouldn't feed it to the dog, not even if it was vegetarian.


Once, in high school, all of us stuffed the tripe (which we were forced to cook. Ugh.) in the vases on the dining room tables. We were called back next day & were all given a detention.

Did the potplants die?

Charmin Ultra Soft...

FreeDuck wrote:

When you go up to order your next pitcher of beer, and get carded and you've forgotten your id, don't giggle like a teenage girl and fumble your money when the guy behind the counter cuts you a break.

Never feed an abandoned baby squirrel cow's milk.

1.I never knowed you was but a duckling?

2. Diarrhoea?

How much would it take to get you to let go of your dominion and jump?