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i share an apt with my bf, but now i want him OUT!!!!

 
 
Reply Thu 8 Mar, 2007 12:57 pm
So here is the situation.....In august my bf and I moved into our apt together. Both our names are on the lease, both of our names are on everything. Now I want out of the relationship, but I LOVE the apt. It is so charming, and perfect. He doesn't want to break up, but knows i do, and is holding the apt over my head as a reason for him to stay and for us to "try" again. I have been spending most of my weeks away from home, and may return once or twice a week, just to get clothes. He moved his cousin in, so now we split the rent three ways. I have also told him that I will not pay any other bills (Cable& electricity), being as I work two jobs and sometimes get home at like 2am, and have to get up at like 5am. I feel that since i don't utilize those things i shouldn't pay for them. My bf stays home all day, but still receives income. Anyway, I want out, out, out.....We have been together off and on for like 10 years, i feel that we are not meant to be, and we should go our separate ways. How can i get him out of my apartment????? He threatens to leave but i know he will not, any advice????
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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 5,102 • Replies: 9
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 8 Mar, 2007 01:00 pm
Boyfriends and apartments have something in common - you can find another one.
0 Replies
 
JustanObserver
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Mar, 2007 10:26 am
Re: i share an apt with my bf, but now i want him OUT!!!!
cheyrice wrote:
Both our names are on the lease, both of our names are on everything.


Mistake number 1.

cheyrice wrote:
He moved his cousin in, so now we split the rent three ways.


Mistake number 2.

cheyrice wrote:
I have also told him that I will not pay any other bills (Cable& electricity), being as I work two jobs and sometimes get home at like 2am, and have to get up at like 5am. I feel that since i don't utilize those things i shouldn't pay for them.


Mistake number 3.

cheyrice wrote:
My bf stays home all day, but still receives income.


Doesn't make a lick of difference.

cheyrice wrote:
any advice????


It's too late for advice. This is more like damage control. Both your names are on the lease, which is why this is such a messed up situation. It doesn't matter how little you use the services, your name is on the bills (I assume). Then you have the added issue of another person paying rent and living there, and on top of that, he refuses to leave.

If you are really, really insistent on keeping the place, I'd talk to a real estate attorney and find out exactly what your rights are. This is hardly a situation that can be fixed with a simply online request.

But if I were you, I'd run for the hills.
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Mar, 2007 12:11 pm
Well, the lease is a contract, so you'd need to get that changed. Ordinarily, landlords aren't terribly interested in changing the terms of a lease before it's time for renewal. Landlords are especially reluctant to change the terms of a lease if it means having fewer people responsible for the entire rent (as each of you are). Many leases, however, also contain a clause that permits changing the leaseholders (it usually involves some kind of payment to the landlord -- but then what doesn't?). Also, if your city has a landlord-tenant ordinance, it might cover this kind of situation.

So, the first thing to do is look at the lease and see if it has any provisions for what you're attempting to do. If not, call the landlord and find out if it's possible to drop one of the leaseholders from the lease.

The second thing to do is convince your ex-bf to clear out. Given that he's on the lease, you can't evict him.

If he won't move, then you need to get out of there, or else get used to living with someone that you don't like as much as the apartment. And sure, the apartment is great, but I assure you there are plenty of apartments out there that are pretty great too. Just make sure that, if you move out, you get yourself dropped from the lease first.
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cutekatie15
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2007 04:45 pm
it isn't like you guys have kids together i say KICK HIM OUT!!
0 Replies
 
fishin
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2007 04:56 pm
cutekatie15 wrote:
it isn't like you guys have kids together i say KICK HIM OUT!!


On what grounds? He has just as much right to live there as she does. He could just as easily kick her out.
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cutekatie15
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2007 05:02 pm
well if it means that much to her to stay kick him out she has that right and like she said.he wouldn't leave her
0 Replies
 
dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2007 05:08 pm
she has no legal right whatsoever to kick the boyfriend out. she can only wait until the lease is out, and pay the rent and her share of ALL utilities whether she uses them or not (that's not his problem if she doesn't) and then strike a deal with the landlord in a new lease that won't have him on it. unless he has already done that with the landlord, in which case she's screwed. not much else can be done. sorry.
0 Replies
 
cutekatie15
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2007 05:10 pm
then she can leave she shouldn't have to live with someone she doesn't want to.... find your own place to live if he wont leave
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Mar, 2007 05:20 pm
Can she sublet her share of the apartment?

Cheyrice I would say you are legally responsible for your share of all utilities relating to the apartment weather you live there or not.

There may be options for you similar to a divorce. Not sure what American laws say re defacto relationships. This may be your only option if he and the landlord refuse to release you (or your partner relinquish his rights to the lease) from the lease. Did you have the apartment prior to you ex boyfriend moving in? that may get you some points.

In the end it may cost you more to hire legal advice and proceed than to find another apartment.
0 Replies
 
 

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