gus!...get the hose! There's some kinda fracas over here by the pen!
CalamityJane wrote:Kicky be afraid, be very afraid!!
Such thread could only be written while I was on vacation. Kicky probably was reading his subscription to Cosmo where "How do you please your man" is in every issue is a big issue.
So, stop whining and grow some spine, for heaven's sake!!
<WHOOMP! Kicky's giant sausage-monster penis slams back down to the ground, crushing CJ like a particularly hefty maggot. Some goo squirts out from either side of Kicky's blubbery, semi-tumescent hose-beast, and a wild beaver (maybe the one Setanta so carelessly let loose earlier) begins eagerly licking up the vile spewage that had until only moments ago been our beloved Jane.>
look, it must be that new open air museum display. there's that monstrous thing that people were talking about. interesting, if entirely useless.
what's the next statue?
CalamityJane wrote:You know nimh, I've asked you repeatedly to ignore me, as you and I will never understand each other. I try to ignore you, yet, you always seem to comment my posts. ... [etc] ... I will abstain from any further comment that might jeopardize your fragile ego, nimh.
Whine, whine, whine...
Manche menschen wollen immer... :wink:
Oh wait, ****, now I got stuck..
<tries to pull his feet from the goo of vile spewage it got stuck in>
uhhmmmmhhuUUH!
Phew. Thats one. Now the other foot.. can someone give me a hand here?
kicky wanna wrote:
Quote:WHOOMP! Kicky's giant sausage-monster penis slams back down to the ground, crushing CJ like a particularly hefty maggot. Some goo squirts out from either side of Kicky's blubbery, semi-tumescent hose-beast, and a wild beaver (maybe the one Setanta so carelessly let loose earlier) begins eagerly licking up the vile spewage that had until only moments ago been our beloved Jane.
Yes, yes, Kicky, it's a thankless job being a witch with a capital B, but I've got enough Karma to burn it off easily.
And as for you nimh, why don't you open another "what about me?"
or "Do you remember me?" thread, hm? There you can get the appropriate
reasurrance you so often seek.
watch out boys... it's CJ...She Wolf of the S.S. cover your nuggets....
Thwack! FreeDuck swings the shovel again and nails the sausage beast mercilessly. Damn thing just won't stay down. Kicky, put that thing away before somebody gets hurt.
Dont ! Dont ! No FreeDuck NO!
Oh no, you dont know what youve done...
<clutches head>
This is no ordinary penisaurus, FreeDuck ... its one like in the horror flicks, you know the ones.. wvery time you kill it, it just returns twice as big! You really shouldnt have done that..
Kicky wont tell you the whole sordid story, of course, but thats how it became this big in the first place..
You see, once upon a cruel childhood, Kickycan discovered that there was something about his weewee that just wasnt like the other boys'.. it didnt look like, well, like anything you would want a weewee to look like. Hideously deformed and grossly discoloured, it was an ugly green little thing.
Young Kicky tried to hide it as long as he could, but then the raging hormones of puberty overwhelmed him, and he couldnt help, not just eyeing the pretty girls, but courting them - and of course, being his charming, witty self, many a girl gladly agreed to venture out on a romantic evening with him..
But then, when at the close of a fortuitous evening of wooing and wowing, the girl kissed him feverishly and he, in the heat of passion, tore of her clothes and then his own, she would see the hideous klutz hidden in his Kleins, and she would shriek in panic and fear, grabbing whatever utensil she could find at hand, and just whack, and whack, and whack at it in disgust.
The first time, of course, that a virginal beauty had thwapped and thomped his ghastly genitals in such a way, young Kicky was half devastated but also half relieved, to be at least rid of this curse of a deformity! So imagine his horror when he woke up the next day and it was there again, lurking under the sheets with such horror that even he, despite being used to his brutal burden, blanched: as ugly as it was before, but twice as big!
As word got about and ever fewer a teenage temptress was gullible enough to give in to his solicitations, he became ever more desperate, and in a helpless fever of raging need, young Kicky resorted to jumping any passing female, to revealing himself in dark passageways, to bouncing onto stages in clubs and concert halls and screaming YES, yes it is me and YES I have a hideously deformed penis, but it is large and it wants to devour you!
But the results were escalatingly calamitous as well. Because the more he scared the womenfolk, the harder they would scream and the more ferociously they would swing bats, table legs, bread knives, brooms and bicycle chains at his monstrosity. Only for it to return double the size and double that and doubled the double of that.
And now.. who dares to even think..?
<shudders> You really shouldnt have done that..
Huge deformed penis?
Sounds like a job for Pond's Vanishing Cream....
dagmaraka wrote:look, it must be that new open air museum display. there's that monstrous thing that people were talking about. interesting, if entirely useless.
what's the next statue?
It's the soon-to-be Calatrava Spire in Chicago...
Oh my god! What kind of silliness is going on in here?!?!
It looks like art, little k. At least I dont think people live in there..
(ahem :wink: )
Maybe people will live there. Maybe they'll have on little swimming caps and have wriggly little tails that propel them mindlessly forward.
Many many many people....
here's the verbiage from a slightly earlier version --
well, lynn becker's report on the verbiage -
http://lynnbecker.com/repeat/calatravachicago/calatravachicago.htm
Need any help, ladies? :-D
nimh
