HOW TO GET TO HEAVEN WHEN YOU DIE

Except that the bible is open to interpretation. There may be some statements that are unambiguous, but much of the bible is allegory, symbolism, parable, prophecy, etc., which are wide open to different interpretations. I've known Christians who've had very different understanding of the creation story, Adam & Eve, etc. So, I don't even know what it means to say that the bible is 100% true. It is sacred document because, like other sacred texts in other religions, it can inspire spiritual transformation in individuals. That, in my view, is what makes it divinely inspired.

I've made no such claim, I've only made a play at how churches take people's money. Not just donations either, but in the forms of true capitolism: merchandise etc.

BTW, I could care less if you don't want to defend churches, on the account of the bible, because these same preacher etc use the bible to convince people to give and purchase.

It would appear all bible students become techers become retailers.

Take all your money, and use it to pay court settlements.
K
O

Now I have this on the highest authority as the correct way, from the classic blues recording, "The Original Talking Blues", Chris Bouchillon, Vocalion recording, 1927:

If you wanna get to heaven,
Let me tell you how to do it
Gotta grease your feet
With a little mutton suet
Slide right out of the devil's hand
And slide on over to the Promised Land.
Take it easy...go greasy...

If the bible is truth, how come there are so many mistakes, errors and omissions? Do you really believe the earth is only 6,000 years old? Can you provide proof of the world flood? How come miracles only happened during the "bible" period? Do you read comic books? They're fiction too, but alot more fun!

You dont need to die to get to heven. You get on Del rt 1 and (after paying the toll) you exit around the Dover Air Force base. You keep heading south like you'd be going to the beach, just below kitts Hummock and before Bowers Beach is Heaven Delaware. They had a Golden Gate Pizza and beer but it closed .

i found WORLD'S END to be a very nice place , almost as nice as HEAVEN - not nearly as gloomy as predicted by some .
turn south off I-95 somewhere near scranton , pa , and you'll come to WORLD'S END STATE PARK .
i went to the end of the world and survived to tell you about its beauty .
hbg

I've been to the end of the world too, and returned to tell about it, but I didn't have to go to PA to do it. There is quite a lovely "World's End" maintained by the Trustees of Reservations (love that name for an agency) in Hingham, MA, with miles of trails, bay swimming, and wonderful views of Hingham harbor and the Boston skyline. It actually is pretty heavenly, and no one checks yur sins before they let you in.

Here's a link to heaven:
http://www.thetrustees.org/pages/393_world_s_end.cfm

Is there a
HELL in the US? Im gonna say yes, and Im gonna bet its somewhere in NEvada.

Ive been to PURGATORY in Colorado, its a land of ice and snow and you hope to stay there briefly as possible (unless youve got deep powder skis).

Just thought i'd bring this to your attention again, Ringbearer.

You were a few states off, farmer, Hell's in Michigan, zip 48169. Jeez, I'm originally from MI, maybe that's where I went wrong, Hell's influence on my childhood (must have been very subconscious tho, I never knew it existed until I googled it.)

if someone promises you PARADISE , they are probably talking about LITTLE PARADISE , newfoundland !
the place was formerly known as MUMMUCHOG , but who'd want to live - or die , for that matter - in a place like that if you could just as well be in little PARADISE !
hbg

We have PARADISE in California too!

http://www.townofparadise.com/

should someone promise to show you "the stairway to heaven" ,
they are probably talking about my hometown of hamburg .
there used to be a cellar-pub called "HIMMELS LEITER"(heaven's ladder) . the locals claimed that if the steps leading into the cellar would be reversed , it surely would reach heaven .
some patrons certainly would feel that they had reached heaven if they managed to climb up those stairs after a night of imbibing - some would sleep on a bench in the pub and not emerge until next morning rather than attempting the ardous climb at night .
sadly the pub was demolished when a major expresssway was built through the city after the war !
at least an artistic impression of the HIMMELS LEITER survived .
hbg

While HELL is in Michigan, HELL'S KITCHEN is in midtown Manhattan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell's_Kitchen,_Manhattan

Their food must be really cold by the time it finally gets to them.

Though I suppose you probably can't get cold food in Hell.

(That entire link should have been blue, thru _Manhattan. The software doesn't seem to consider an apostrophe as part of a URL I guess. As it is now, it just takes you to Hell).

I've been to HELL and back; how about you?

Summary: Been to Hell? - Well if your going to Grand Cayman you can.

Description: Been to Hell? - Well if your going to Grand Cayman you can. Take the family over to Hell, Grand Cayman located near West Bay. This unique site features ancient rock formations that have created a barron and haunting landscape appropiatly named 'Hell'. Hell's intriguing formation, which resembles the charred remains of a hell fire, is weathered from rock called ironshore. Common around the island, but in less dramatic form, ironshore has been estimated at 1.5 million years old. The formation, which looks like volcanic rock, is actually made up of very hard limestone, at one time snow white, now blackened by a surface coating of the algae which are secreting acid and eroding the rock into these unusual shapes. A sturdy boardwalk was established to provide a better access to the rock formation. It's worth a trip... Thousands of tourists go to Hell each year. They stare, awed by the blackened and jagged rock formation that gives the little district in West Bay its unusual name. They send letters and cards to friends with the HELL postmark clearly stamped on the back - and greetings like "This is a Hell of a place" or "You saw me in Hell first." Be sure to send a postcard from the local post office and it will be postmarked: Hell, Grand Cayman!

My wife and I went to HELL in December 2000.

So there really is hell on earth. Dante says there are seven circles of Hell. So far we've found two--any idea where the other 5 are? Gee, ci, somehow my mental picture of Hell was a little more depressing. And redder. With a lot more pitchforks.

If you can picture the whole planet resembling only the "black" part of the bottom picture, "that" would be depressing. I think more animals would prefer being dead.