AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

Tough work, friendship. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions.

Turning 40 was big for me. I took a good, hard look at some relationships that had just been going on and on and on in my life. Gently eased a few people aside, stopped returning calls from others (especially the ones where I realized that I had never initiated a call in 5 - to years of knowing the people - how little was i interested?), and called one and told her to think about our relationship, and not to call me. I realized that in nearly 20 years, I'd done all the work, all the giving.

Life has been quieter and a whole lot less stressful since that time. I've still got some good friends that I've had for a long time - some newer friends who bring things to share to the friendship - it's been good.

I sort of gave up on the 'I should be friends with this person or that person or that type of person' way of thinking in my mid-20's (25 was my previous personal house-cleaning). Now I'm friends with people I like, not with people I think I should be spending time with. It's nice.

fanny packs? ok. i was looking for a new bag today. thought i'd get one of those half knapsack things, but i can't figure out how to put it on without throwing it over my entire body, and it landing on the floor. fanny packs i've mastered.

Craven, you have to get a fanny pack too, since you're the token (or is it taken) male.

I have a fanny pack. It's hanging on to my butt with its teeth.

Hiya snappy. *wiggles bum* na ne na ne boo boo

Now there's a regionalism. When I was growing up in the midwest, it was nyah-nyah-ni-nyah-nyah. Now I live in the Northwest, and from what I can tell, down to about San Jose, CA, it's neener-neener-neener... Any others?

OBTW... Craven, yer cute when ye wiggles yer bum like that!

It was that Lipstick Lesbian test. I think I was a fanny pack away from being Butch, or something...

Thank God I use Origins make-up, and don't have books on car maintenance!

nanny nanny boo boo--Also, South Georgia.

Bad-ass girl gangsters -- the token male is wiggling his bum at us. I believe this calls for action.

Origins rocks! I didn't think it was, like, a thing. I just like the colors.

Miscellaneous thoughts coming up, but I can see things are going fast and I want to get this in before the bum-wiggling comment is several pages back...

And the bum-wiggling gets faster and faster as we females grin in anticipation...

Crack that whip!

whip that crack

He really does need a good spanking.

Please don't take advantage of me.....

Minnesota = Nanny nanny boo boo. Sometimes with a "pthhhhhhhhhhht!" and thumbs in ears with fingers waggling appended.

ehBeth, the "should" is the rub. I really do need to have contact with deafies. It's a cultural thing, a language thing, a sanity thing. Unfortunately, the cool people I have met are single, childless, and live far away. We are happy to see each other at big events, but don't have any kind of ongoing relationship.

I have pretty much forever not put up with people in my personal life who I don't want to be there. Going back to high school at the latest. But there are tricky tradeoffs here. If I cut off contact with these people, I will go months at a time without socializing with other deaf people. That's not an option, sanity-wise.

What I have come to realize, though, is that I will just stop hoping for some breakthrough, and only do the bare minimum in terms of keeping these contacts enjoyable. Because the relationships were developing -- I knew people, but didn't know them well, wanted to get to know them better, and didn't want to jeapordize a potential close friendship -- I have been much more careful than I usually am in social situations. What happened last night was kind of am epiphany in terms of "OK, I'm not going to find the kind of person I'm looking for, and that's OK." If I DO find someone truly simpatico after all of this, it will be a nice surprise.

By the way, the whole simpatico thing has less to do with quantifiables like political party or branch of religion as open-mindedness, intelligence, etc. I often disagree with Sofia's politics but think she's a great lady because she really listens, and really weighs her words. So it was not so much the content of that comment, per se, as the fact that it was so unthinkingly thrown out there.

VERY interesting! I have lived in several places and na ne na ne boo boo is definitely the most common.

I recently heard a kid say this with a Mexican accent and it had me rollin'

I have also heard the neener veriety in Califoria but I have lived in Texas and mostly heard the na ne version...

Hmmm.

It was interesting that you brought it up. I was thinking about this in particular this week and have always been amused by regionalisms in onomatopoeias and such.

Thank you, sozobe.

I'm like you in that--I'm not setting up litmus tests for people to pass... But, you can often tell what's at the core of a person when they throw crap out like that woman you spoke of earlier. That was disgustingly dismissive of Jewish women. IMO. I still want to smack her. But, had I been in a similar situation, and 'spoke my mind', I may have missed an opportunity to get to know those women--and show them they were missing something important by dismissing Jewish women-- Ah well. My life is too much of a soapbox...

Political opinion isn't important in friendship, to me, but underlying attitudes about human beings is. I am very fond of several people here, who have almost nothing in common with my political opinions--but I think these people are, at their core, very appealing for a myriad of reasons.

Praps I'm an eejit -- but I thought "Ya-Ya Sisterhood" was mostly about Women-women, not necessarily Jewish-women. Women with families and loves and hates and crazynesses that had to be dealt with. I loved what they had to say. And I loved listening to them say it.