Novel maybe?

Comment away...

Oh, and I'd like to add a few things... (being new to this site, I haven't really quite seen the level of writing that everyone else is at until now, and, let me say, I think I'm a bit out of my league.) Please, to those who are human thesaurus..es... give me some GOOD synonyms for the first words in my first few sentences...I hate them. Hopefully I can get the whole: "Less is more" thing going on, but other than that, I'm just an amateur so hit me with criticism.

...And also, I'm chancing the sentence with "ear drums" and "dissonance" in it...

Looks fine so far. i haven't read all of it yet. Some advice: Put some spaces between paragraphs. Example:
Prolouge
_______



Prolouge
_______

It was happening. Now. Tantulus grinned, relishing the moment. In just a few more seconds, he, Tantalus, would be ruler of all of Hades- the Shadeland.

Baring his sharp teeth in a morbid grin, Tantalus stabbed the god Hades, creator of Shadeland. Hades grimaced in pain as the sword entered his body.

"I can't be dying," Hades thought aloud "I'm immortal..."

At this, Tantalus had to chuckle, soon howling in mirth. "No, no, my soon to be former enslaver. This blade I just stabbed you with? It was laced with poison straight from Tartarus. Even so called immortals cannot survive that.

If you don't do that, I can be very challenging to read.
Best Wishes,
~Em

That's really helpful, I acctually had it spaced out in paragraphs, but for some reason when I pasted it, the whole thing collapsed together...and I, being really lazy, decided I would just write:No Title and smash enter. But still, I think you're right because I only spaced out paragraphs once or twice.

Awwwww. Your writing is wonderful, dear, and I'm not just saying that. There are a very few spelling errors (such as 'sac', which should be 'sack' instead), but otherwise: this is the kind of novel I would read!

The only other thing is that quotation marks should never be used in place of italics. That's it. I love you. Keep writing.

Thank you, dear! Ok, here is beginning of my wanna-be novel edited by my better half. *Smiles at Mechanicaltea* Just a few things worked out: better wording, punctuation, organization. Still, if anyone has any good suggestions for synonyms for the first words in the first few sentences please say so, and if not, tell me that they're fine as is (Even though I still think they're not.)

Notice:

Abou-Hamdan was my grandson. He died August 26,2007