Getting attacked by wild animals

OK...I can go with this madness..."lambs eat oats and does eat oats and litlle lambs eat ivy, a doodly doo doo doo wouldn't you..."
Hows that Ossobucco?
G'night all

The absolute best means of driving the homicidal deer away is:

Douse your perimeter with puma piss. Deers have this genetic thing about moving on when a puma shows up; go figure. The only problem might be obtaining the required deer-repellent. It isn't available commercially, so you'd have to "harvest" it yourself. I advise against becoming too cozy with a wild puma, because they are it bit paranoid about folks following them around and trying to join them at toilette. You might try bribing a local zoo keeper to demand a gallon jar sample from his puma inmates ... that sometimes works if the keeper is broke and not too sharp.

Carter was out fishing with his Secret Service escort when a crazed bunny began swimming toward the President's boat with intent to assassinate. The Secret Service quickly got the President to safety, while two agents sacrificed themselves by diving into the water to divert the attack. A battalion of marines were called in to hunt down the "Bad Bunny". Carter was never the same afterwards. He gave up Billy Beer and promised God that he'd house the homeless if only he were saved from future attacks by small furry creatures. Of course, if you don't have Secret Service protection and a contingent of jarheads at beck and call, this might not work out.

On the other hand, why not just shoot "Bad Bambi" and load up the freezer with venison? Just don't have the local Game Warden over for supper when your menu includes a venison roast.

I found this when I googled Puma Piss.

Oh, Bliss, I couldn't have done that. Once injured and limping around I'd have to call in a wild life preserve person to get the dear deer healed properly. It would break my heart to see him / her limping around unassisted like that.

Sounds like he knew how to get that message across himself.

Gangsta Deer.

I did actually call a wildlilfe person, but they said they couldn't do anything...which I thought was awful....but I live in an area where there are SO many deer its ridiculous...maybe it has something to do with too many people calling about injured deer...I dunno...but its kinda scary when he's mad!! He gets all wild eyed and his hair goes up!!

I've actually got WAY more puma piss (natural, not synthetic) than I know what to do with right now. So if anybody needs some, for deer problems, occult purposes, what have you, just pm me your address and I'll get it to you.

Asherman...how bout coyote piss? We have them here in Cali now too...Luna almost looks like one...maybe I could fix her up a disguise and hang a jar around her neck...ok thats ludicrous:)

They seem like a lovely bunch don't they?

yeah, coyote piss works too. You can buy it already bottled and ready to spray around your perimeter (and directly on any plants you don't want eaten). It's called Liquid Fence and smells like, well, it smells like coyote piss. Available online or in most garden centers.

I wonder, does coyote piss smell like normal cat piss?

I had a sniff of jaguar piss at the zoo yesterday and it smelt like poo.

No, it smells like coyote piss.

I don't know what Coyote piss smells like JPB. We don't have them in Manchester.

Can you describe it? Is it more pungent than cat piss?

much. not as much ammonia, more musky. Pretty vile, actually.

Coyotes aren't feline, they're canids.

OK...I have some of that liquid fence stuff...it smells worse than death...but the deer don't eat my flowers. I'll never spray it on Luna though...
Cute coyote pup pics!!

Good luck with your psycho deer


I shouldn't laugh because I'd be terrified if a deer was stalking me. I love deer, but if they start attacking me, I'm not gonna stand for that.

Hope that stuff works. Let me know because I've thought about putting it around my gardens to keep them out.

I was getting coyotes mixed up with hyenas in my head.

Hyenas probably have vile smelling pee too...don't be embarassed!

I never met a piss that smelled good