Good thread, Soz. I like tofu (and its low fat and cholesterol! ) but my cooking with it is pretty dull. Stir-fries, smooch it into things, usually very spicy.
You probably already thunk of this, but will throw it out there anyways. The packaged 'fake meats' can be really good for when you feel lazy.
I like the tofu-ground burger stuff, and the hot dogs. The rest, not so much. Well, I like lentil burgers.
It's not the same but can be nice. You can do most anything with it.
Lentils and beans are another thing I did retain from time as a vegetarian. Lots of options with that, and very tasty when done right.
Too bad about the mushrooms and fungus! Mushrooms are great for that 'meaty texture'. God, I love meat.