Can we bring them up?

Let me add:

A teacher who does a very good job of imparting information effectively will often be liked. That's totally fine. I'm not at all advocating for cold, impersonal interaction, students living in fear of their teachers, anything lke that.

The problem is when the goal of the teacher is to be liked. As a guiding principle, it has many flaws -- which you've already discovered.

stach, I just read your other topic
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=92339
and I have to repeat my original statement of you being very disturbed.

You do not have a healthy teacher/student relationship, nor do you
want to as you immediately excuse every concern and issue that has
been raised by others. You don't want to be liked as teacher, you want
to be liked as a man.

Were my daughter in your class, I truly would remove her. You should
not be a teacher of teenage girls.

why do you keep saying "i want to be liked" I already said that it can be transformed into "I want to maintain a positive relationship with my students"
and i don't know what is wrong with that

the problem is also that this post has two questions from the very beginning
and i should have separated them

one is the problem of positive atmosphere versus discipline tools

the other one is what kind of person can effect student's character and what kind of character or values are adviced

You seem to take this all too personally. I am interested in academic exchange. I could ask my colleagues and of course, the character and discipline issues of studenst are talked in our offices non stop amost. But here I expect some psychological and education wiz advise. I am really not interested in your supreme being judging of my human quality. Marry me, then talk, okay? Gee you have no clue what kind of person I am as much as I have no clue what kind of person anyone at web forums is. THe internet just cannot replace real experience living with someone or spending some real time with someone. Sozobe already did a great job explaining something about the dynamics of teacher-student tension connected with sexual aspects of being human. And I have been using that info ever since. I haven't even done anything that would not be okay with the basic philosophy of our school. And I really think it is okay with our school to discuss things on the internet no matter how stupid I am and unable to express myself clearly.

In reading back you mentioned "being liked" in just about every post
you made regardless of what you call it afterwards.



Discipline is the key to everything and the sooner the kids learn the better for them. You're their English teacher stach, seeing them once or twice a week only, the character of these students should not be your concern, nor would it impact much.



You seem to have difficulties controlling your emotions, stach. Yes, I
don't know you, but I do judge you by your written words. I even went
so far as to read your other topics, since you were insinuating not to be understood correctly. You raise a concern in me, a red flag if you will,
because teachers CAN and DO influence their students and judging from
the way you dismiss everyone who has posted here and NOT in
agreement with you, you seem very insensitive to others.

Yes, you haven't done anything that would compromise the basic philosophy of your school, and you may act within the legal boundaries,
however, an all too familiar and chummy behavior towards students
can be most uncomfortable for them, especially you being the authority
figure and them being dependents.

My 11 year old daughter adores her teachers and she recognizes their
authority. I would hate for any teacher - male or female - to take advantage of her trust.

There is some two or three weeks distance after the last changes in my attitude toward the students and I am now finetuning. The waters are now pretty calm. The all too familiar and chummy was about two or three students
and I cut that. I am now finetuning the amount of friendliness and strictness to mix the rigtht amount that would work. It took me a while to understand that handling these teenagers is far more complex than I thought, it is not simple at all and easy to explain, one has to figure out certain things on thier own. It is not about being strict or friendly but to find the right moments when it is better to be cold and tough and when it is better to smile, encourage, praise, this is very very complex and only years of experience or at least two years will tell me how it works.

Anyway the one student whith whom i was too friendly has now changed into the coldest and meanest student I have. Because I told her clearly that I am not interested in close - familiar communication with her or any games or anything like that which has nothing to do with school. She hardly greets me. It is very unpleasant, because before she would smile all the time, but I guess that this cut off was necessary, like a painful surgery.

I'm glad to learn that you made some changes. I think they're for the better.

Teaching adolescents is a challenge. Let me rephrase that. Teaching is a challenge.

I agree with Roberta, and I am glad you have found a way to
incorporate authority while still being friendly to students. In the
end they will respect you more for it, trust me.

thank you everyone for help, sorry i was so oversensitive a few weeks ago, but it was difficult for me to read your criticism because i take my job very seriously in fact and want to avoid unnecessary mistakes and learn from mistakes