gustavratzenhofer wrote:What about fat smokers?
Perish the thought.
You shouldn't even look in their direction.
:wink:
This may seem a little drastic, but I think fat smokers should be shot on sight.
Bella Dea wrote:We;ve had this discussion before and most people will say no, it's not ok. But I think that's bull because you are allowed to got up to a smoker and tell them it's a bad habit they should stop but you can't go up to a fat person and tell them that eating that cheeseburger is a bad habit and they should stop. Now, I understand that smoking is ALWAYS a choice where as being overweight isn't, and maybe that's why it's acceptable to pick on smokers....but
I think we should either be mean to everyone equally or nice to everyone equally. Smokers shouldn't get picked on any more than fat people.
I don't think it is acceptable to harass smokers so long as they are being relatively courteous about it -- that is, not smoking in nonsmoking establishements, doorways, in line, or other places where bystanders are forced to be exposed to more than a passing whiff of smoke.
It's just bad form.
Nail-biters, on the other hand, should be shot on sight.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:This may seem a little drastic, but I think fat smokers should be shot on sight.
I think death by stoning should be brought back for these people. It would probably take a lot of stones, thrown by professional baseball players though.
I like to wait outside of the HBO studios for the crowd of smokers to appear especially this week. The temperatures have been in the teens( F) with wind chills in the minuses, yet ---here they come ---outside ---to suck up some smoke.
Some of them without coats or hats.
What I do is point at them and laugh hysterically
Joe(some of them actually laugh with me)Nation
patiodog wrote:Nail-biters, on the other hand, should be shot on sight.
Don't make me scratch your eyes out with my short, snaggly nails.
That girl with the fat belly?
How about if when you saw her wearing something other than the short tops, meaning something she looks good in, you say to her.
"Hey, you know, that shirt really flatters you. I really like that style when you where it"
She'll still wear the short tops, but the seed has been planted.
Next time you see her wearing a better choice, say "You really look pretty in that style of top, I think I like it better than the short tops you wear".
You've got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.
Keep up that theme and you'll see her wearing more and more the ones she gets compliments on.
In fact this would also work on thin people, tall people, short people too.
You're wise beyond your years, Dr. Chai.
Think of your worse physical (or emotional or mental) feature, and examine how you'd like to have someone tell you about it in the most stark, harsh way possible.
She should have slapped you. Fat is ugly, but not as ugly as hurting someone because they're fat.
You can call me fat and I won't be insulted in the least.
I hope you're not insulted when I kick your ass.
gustavratzenhofer wrote:You're wise beyond your years, Dr. Chai.
That's a lovely dress you have on today Mrs. Cleaver.
Sticks and Stones
THE FUSTALUGE
(Archaic term for a grossly obese person)
By BumbleBeeBoogie
May 6, 1991
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
Hey, n-----! Yo, h-nky! Lazy d-gos! or greasy sp-c wetb-cks! What about kr-uts, ch-nks or g-oks? Or, even more timely, rag he-ds and c-mel drivers! Even liberals, the hated liberals. And queers, don't forget the queers!
What is a fustaluge? The person it's still socially acceptable to malign.
Even the most thoughtful, otherwise sensitive people call fat persons Fatso or Blimp. There's even a comic strip with a fat broad. Hey, jumbo, if it's jelly it must shake like that! Have you ever said move over, tubby, get your fat ass out of my way. Common sayings such as fat chance or a big fat lie.
Literature demeans someone as evil or grotesque, not by describing them as thin, but nearly always an evil fat slobs with fat lips, fat fingers, greasy fat oozing evil and degradation.
Don't you know any neat, nice fat people in this world?
Names hurt. All names hurt!
Sticks and Stones!
Just as a "for the record" thing, "fat" is usually seen as a neutral descriptor in Deaf culture. A woman would sign to me, "Have you met Sally? She has red hair, glasses, she's a little bit fatter than I am, not that much, she signs super-fast...?" Etc. It's usually seen as being no more value-laden as hair color or eye color. And not just by thin people, either -- as I was getting used to the culture I saw a client of mine being called fat in that kind of incidental way, felt bad for her, and pulled her aside and asked if she was OK with it (as I planned to discipline the person who said it, if not). She was totally confused; "I AM fat. Why would it make me mad if he said so?"
Obviously it depends on how people take it -- the fact that some people are OK with it doesn't mean that everyone one is, by a long shot -- but just wanted to get that in there.
Perhaps you give good advice Chai, but I am not in the business of lulling people with sweettalk. If someone comes to me with a message they think I'll not like to hear, for example that my belly is getting awfully big, and try to sugarcoat it, I get angry and sometimes insulted that they think I am so fragile that I cannot stand to hear the truth.
That is the core issue, as I see it. If you can't face the truth you have bigger problems than just the weight.
Come to think, I didn't really use the word "fat" with that girl I mentioned. I think I said that the clothes she wore were designed for a differend body type than hers and that she should probably wear clothes that fit her a bit better.
Anyway, Bella Dea has a point about fat people and smokers. If it's ok to remark it to smokers who are smoking, then it should be ok to remark it to fat people at macdonalds.
Ugh, no it shouldn't.
I'd already wanted to come back and add before I saw your latest that I think the incidental and valueless way it's used in the Deaf community is important.
I mean, to take the original example; you don't like brown hair. You think brown hair is gross. A friend has brown hair. You say, "gee, you look a lot better when you wear hats," or "did you see that Walmart has a sale on blonde hairdye? I'm just saying." Your friend is going to be insulted because, guess what, it's an insult.
That doesn't mean there's anything insulting about someone who is neutral about brown hair describing someone as having brown hair.
You're not in the business of lulling people with sweet talk? Are you in some kind of paying position of telling people what's best for them?
What I said is not sugar coating the message. The message I would be trying to get across to the girl is how good she looks right now, now how bad she looked yesterday.
If you solved a complicated problem you'd been working on for days, would you rather I say to you "Wow, you figured it out finally, great" or "Wow, you've been so stupid up until now, I can't believe it took you this long to solve it"
Was your (and others) problem with this girl the fact she was fat, or the fact she was wearing clothes that didn't suit her?
It's not sugarcoating or lulling someone to catch someone doing the right thing. Waiting for the correct time to approach someone with anything shows intelligence and patience on your part. Rushing in with the first thing that comes out of your mouth shows laziness and lack of empathy.
Question, before approaching the girl and telling her what she should probably do (which would have been your opinion in any event) Did you ever in the past tell her when she was wearing the right thing that she looked good?
It would have taken the exact same amount of effort on your part to say those words. But you chose to say the words that pointed out the negative.
It a good thing for both sides when you catch people to do the right thing and point it out to them. It builds alliances.
Pointing out the bad stuff breeds shame.
Quote:Waiting for the correct time to approach someone with anything shows intelligence and patience on your part.
No wonder I did't get it then...
But seriously, I guess you are right, chai.
Btw, I never had a problem with this girl. My problem was that listening to all the people making fun of her behind her back was getting to me.
Cyracuz wrote:
Anyway, Bella Dea has a point about fat people and smokers. If it's ok to remark it to smokers who are smoking, then it should be ok to remark it to fat people at macdonalds.
It's not ok to do either. But my point is that we always tend to lean towards being nicer to certain groups of people, even when it's not right.
