Is it an insult to say a fat man is fat?

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People who have issues with how they look, for instance, often feel insulted when others mention the thing they are uncomfortable with.

For example. Many fat people get insulted or hurt if you mention that they are fat, even if it is in a perfectly reasonable context.

I can understand it if I just walk up to someone in the street and say "hey, you're fat".

But in a conversation where it is reasonable to mention it I don't think it is ok for them to get all worked up over it, but many do just that.

What say ye?

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Why in the name of god would you want to mention to someone that they were fat?

What purpose would that serve?

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Go on. Call me fat.

http://www.jklawyer.net/blog/butterbean%2520punch.jpg

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Nah, it's ok. Fat people don't have feelings.

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I am probably considered callous by most on this board, but I never, under any circumstance, make light of someone's appearance.

Well, maybe patiodog's, but I draw the line there.

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That's a line well-drawn, you wrinkled toothless sheepshagger.

You look like Henry Kissinger's scrotum in a hat.

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Quote:

Why in the name of god would you want to mention to someone that they were fat?

There are many purposes. In school there was this girl I knew who always wore these tiny tops. She had a big belly, and it usually hung down almost to her knees in it's pale nakedness. As a result people pointed and laughed behind her back, calling her disgusting and what's worse.

So I told her that she should probably wear clothes that were more suitable to her fat belly. She got real angry, but she took my advice. Later she thanked me for it.

patiodog.

I'd call that monster fat. He may be able to pulverize me with one punch, but first he'd have to get within range. Smile

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Butterbean!!!!

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I'm usually not one for being overly PC, but in cases like that
I would feel uncomfortable using the term "fat."

If I had to say something about it, I would use terms like
"heavy" or "overweight."

I don't know, it just seems to me that saying "fat" is less tactful.

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Cyracuz wrote:

She had a big belly, and it usually hung down almost to her knees in it's pale nakedness. As a result people pointed and laughed behind her back, calling her disgusting and what's worse.

So I told her that she should probably wear clothes that were more suitable to her fat belly. She got real angry, but she took my advice. Later she thanked me for it.

She was angry because you hurt her. There are ways to say things that get the message across but cause less or no pain.

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Roberta wrote:

Cyracuz wrote:
She had a big belly, and it usually hung down almost to her knees in it's pale nakedness. As a result people pointed and laughed behind her back, calling her disgusting and what's worse.

So I told her that she should probably wear clothes that were more suitable to her fat belly. She got real angry, but she took my advice. Later she thanked me for it.

She was angry because you hurt her. There are ways to say things that get the message across but cause less or no pain.

Like dress appropriately for your body shape.

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dadpad wrote:

Like dress appropriately for your body shape.

I'm not a fat pig, I'm NOT a fat pig.

:wink:

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There are words that have a similar meaning, but either positive, neutral or negative emotional connotations. For instance:

I'm thrifty, you're frugal, and he's stingy.

In our society, "fat" has a terribly negative connotation. IMO, if you call a person "fat", it is designed to hurt, and not to help. There are kind ways of getting a difficult message across to a person, as Roberta alluded.

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Yep, it's the power of synonyms. And tact, too.

If someone told me I looked fat in something (and I am well aware that I am overweight, no one needs to tell me that, I have eyes), I'd be hurt. If they told me that a certain outfit was unflattering, I'd be a lot more receptive to the message. I can read between the lines, for sure, but I would appreciate the tact and thoughtfulness that went into such a statement. This isn't being PC. It's not on the same planet as PC. It's being kind to other people.

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Honesty without love can be brutality.

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snood wrote:

Honesty without love can be brutality.

Whatever. I'm still not a fat pig.

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I guess this is a case of "don't speak about others injured limbs".

Kinda the way it is rude to stare or speak about huge scars on a person's body.

The asking or saying something may be harmless enough in intent, but there is also a good chance it is a sore spot of the person, and they do not want to speak about it. Especially with someone they are not intimate with.

Still, why should being fat be shameful? It isn't to everybody.

A good friend of mine is fat and uses the term herself. I can call her fat so long as no lecture or unkindness is attached.

But I never call her fat! Laughing

She already knows anyways.

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If you are answering some question like "Does this dress make me look fat?", one can be candid, but kind.

"**** yes." is inappropriate.

Try "Maybe."

then duck.

I can't think of any circumstance that I would broach the subject unasked.

By the way, men NEVER ask such questions, they are only ever asked them by women.

Men will say to another man, "Hey, you've lost weight." but real men do not say to each other "You look like a slab-assed porker, yah slobberdick."

Joe(except if they are strangers)Nation

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Joe, it looks like you've lost some weight.

And by the way, Joe, do these new coveralls make me look fat?

Be honest.

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We;ve had this discussion before and most people will say no, it's not ok. But I think that's bull because you are allowed to got up to a smoker and tell them it's a bad habit they should stop but you can't go up to a fat person and tell them that eating that cheeseburger is a bad habit and they should stop. Now, I understand that smoking is ALWAYS a choice where as being overweight isn't, and maybe that's why it's acceptable to pick on smokers....but

I think we should either be mean to everyone equally or nice to everyone equally. Smokers shouldn't get picked on any more than fat people.

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