THE BRITISH THREAD II

Mac wrote-

Quote:

Mathos wrote:
Why has smorgsi's post been removed from this thread?

Like the mirage, isn't it.

Something to do with trumping, I think.

And pussy on the roof.

I can't see it being anything to do with any of that.

"Trumping" has already been cleared on the Acronym thread by yours truly and the mods had a fart button not that long ago and trumping is a delicate lower middle class synonym for farting. The "trump" is out as an explanation. Just ask Baroness Trumpington if you have any reservations on that score. A recent survey found that everybody trumped, on average, 35 times per day.

Now it is well known that anyone who thinks that the word "pussy" will corrupt our morals has a very dirty mind indeed and is also incapable of conceiving of the waters coming up on one of those cute little creatures and not taking it up on the roof but rather leaving it to shift for itself, which smorgies natural virtue made a priority only less important that her daughter and grand-daughter, for which she is to be commended, by pussy lovers at least, is not entirely of sound mind.

I can't believe that our mods, for whom my respect knows no limits, could possibly have considered the "trumping" question or the "pussy" allusions which not everyone shares.

I thus am driven to the conclusion that smorgsie contacted the mods and asked them to delete the post having thought better of what I might think of her if the waters had come up where her residence is located and she had taken advantage of my offer and had subjected me to an 8 hour snoring and trumping symphony thinking me inexperienced regarding such matters and thus possibly lowering my estimation of her character and general all-round sweetness.

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spendius wrote:

I remember seeing a crowd of almost 300,000 when Bob Dylan topped the bill in the all-day pinic at Blackbushe Airport and it was a large number of people but it was adequately catered for from 9.am to well after midnight by the organisers.

Perhaps they should be called in to replace this bunch of bureaucratic nonentities who are no doubt energetically battling with each other for supremacy in this dire emergency.

I think it's inevitable when a lorra lorra people need to get drinking water delivered over a period of two weeks or more, that there's going to be supply problems.

Drinking AND washing.

We are very profligate in our use of water, generally speaking. Wilfred Thesiger opines that the Bedouin nomads of Arabia could teach us a thing or two about behaviour in that regard.

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I removed the post myself - you speculative buggers!

As no one replied to it, I thought I should remove it as it was:

Boring
Trite (consider the people suffering due to the floods)
Bad taste (considering the people suffering due to the floods)
Smutty (as per usual)

And last, but not least, because my pussy objected to being only third on my list of valuables.

But thanks for the offer, suspendy. I'm sure that spending the night at your gaff would be interesting, stimulating and beneficial for my pussy.

It's still raining...

x

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Best reply to this post so you cant delete it.

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dadpad!

x

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When I saw his post it cracked me up
sorry smorgs

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In Farsi, the word for trump is goozie.

So now you are all able to know that, should you find yourself with a case of flatulence whilst visiting Shiraz or your local take away.

x

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On another forum, there's this guy whose ID was "flat you lance"...

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You nearly made me trump with mirth, Francis.

x

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Now I've managed to reduce the thread to trumps and pussies, I'm going to work before I get myself in hot water (because I'm profligate in the use of the commodity).

I hate my job.

x

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smorgs wrote:

In Farsi, the word for trump is goozie.

So now you are all able to know that, should you find yourself with a case of flatulence whilst visiting Shiraz or your local take away.

x

Useful, I'm going there in November.

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And I'm playing bridge later today, so trumping may well come in useful.

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Some people don't even fill in their profile, far less post a photo of themselves, so I thought it a commendable example of insouciance and bravado that Smorgie actually posted a link to where she lives. Remarkable too, when you think that there are people like Spendy about.

I don't think the Mersey will get that high. I used to have a pumping station in the riverbank there, and it has never flooded. There is a well-conceived system of holding ponds just upstream of there where the Environment Agency can divert floodwaters if trouble threatens.

So Smorgie can keep her pussy warm and dry, and off the roof.

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You just reminded me to re-fill out my profile. I am glad I read your post McTag.

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smorgsie wrote-

Quote:

I removed the post myself

So my analysis was correct and my faith in the mods justified. I didn't think we could edit like that ourselves which is why I thought the mods had been asked to do it.

I see that the bureaucratic empire builders who are leading us all to safety in the service of expanding their structures and sense of self importance have now brought the Tour de France to its knees and, according to French newspapers, to the grave.

There's nothing so boring as good clean fun regulated by Nanny Goody-Goody Two Shoes.

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McTag wrote:

Some people don't even fill in their profile, far less post a photo of themselves, so I thought it a commendable example of insouciance and bravado that Smorgie actually posted a link to where she lives. Remarkable too, when you think that there are people like Spendy about.

I don't think the Mersey will get that high. I used to have a pumping station in the riverbank there, and it has never flooded. There is a well-conceived system of holding ponds just upstream of there where the Environment Agency can divert floodwaters if trouble threatens.

So Smorgie can keep her pussy warm and dry, and off the roof.

Stalk me if you dare!

And if sussy ever turned up at my gaff, I would make him a nice veggie meal, cup of herbal tea and roll him one. Then I would wash his hair with Vosene.

So, Muckty - never flooded? Is that since records began? You are aware that this is the wettest summer since records began. You're not THAT old Muckty!

Besides, if the Government (Environment Agency) tell me I'm at substantial risk - then that's good enough for me and my pussy.

x

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smorgsie wrote-

Quote:

Besides, if the Government (Environment Agency) tell me I'm at substantial risk - then that's good enough for me and my pussy.

The only consideration these "agencies" have is to make sure that they cannot be blamed for anything or, worse still, be sued. So they err on the side of safety ( for them) at the cost of winding everybody's nerves up to breaking point and thus weakening our capacities for self reliance and possibly our immune systems as well. Under such circumstances they get opportunities to appear on our TV screens looking very concerned for our well being and unbelievably virtuous. And in view of their numbers their IQs can't possible average over 100 and they address us as if we average 80.

This suits media because they sell palliatives to advanced states of nervousness and loss of self respect.

In my experience pussies are experts in self reliance as long as they don't brave the traffic too much.

Did you ever in all your life see the uttermost obvious banalities repeated over and over in such pompous stentorian tones.

One picture of that church on dry ground surrounded by water tells you all you need to know about the relative wisdom of the bishops compared to that of these agency counter jumping charlies.

Like Bob Dylan said-

"If you want somebody you can trust-trust yourself."

It's odd that Mac didn't trust the mods and has such faith in that load of incompetents in Gloucester.

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I remember when records began: it was round about 1956 with "Hound Dog".
Smorgie, if you look carefully at that Environment Agency-provided plan, the coloured area does not reach to your side of the road. The other side might flood, you won't. Or if you do, you can sue tham for duff info.

Quote:

One picture of that church on dry ground surrounded by water tells you all you need to know about the relative wisdom of the bishops compared to that of these agency counter jumping charlies.

Not much to do with bishops I think. Christian churches were usually built on high spots (thereby ensuring that their elderly members did not last too long) because they were built where pagan sites of worship had previously existed. On hilltops, if they could find one, or on a nice bump, where you could light a bonfire and do a bit of sacrificing.

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Mac writes in every post these days-

Quote:

"We don't want a covered woman in Ataturk's presidential palace," said Ayse Bari, a 67-year-old housewife. "We want civilized, modern people there."

Have you any idea Mac how fatuous that is. And demeaning to women. I would bet that Mrs Bari isn't up for one of smorgies youthful prancing routines in the palace. Even the understated ones.

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Okay I'll change it, you moaning prat. They've had the vote now, and the islamist party consolidated their position. Maybe you're not too concerned about a potentially fundamentalist islamic state getting membership of the EC (less likely now, granted) but I bet Steve is. And me.

Okay sorry, back to bedraggled pussies and suchlike.

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THE BRITISH THREAD II

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