THE BRITISH THREAD II

I don't know if anyone ever mentioned smoking on this thread. Or non-wmoking and the smoking ban.

I'm glad, it wasn't me who did so.


(today's first edition)

Steve wrote-



I couldn't work with that bunch of phoney shysters or mix with them socially. If I get up to any devious tricks it is only with my equals or betters. I don't steal toffees out of baby's prams.

I hate travel. I hate glamour. Don't you know Steve that glamour is a species of witchcraft; a deceptive and alluring charm. I do rather fancy the expenses though. But I have enough so that isn't much of a pull.

I would have to be in cities wouldn't I? Blimey. They can keep it.

I do love television though. "Tele" is a Greek word for "at a distance" Hence vision at a distance. Why don't they stick to that. Promenade concerts, sport are seen live with this improvement on binoculars. It's all that stuff they generate within their own lairs that I hate.

You get get a question in a game show and the answer might be given to the contestant beforehand or it might come an hour later or next week. Just cut the two bits together and it looks spontaneous. I bet it takes half a day to make the half-hour of Have I Got News For You. They are not as fast and witty as you think and they aren't all that wiity either. I have heard of some highly paid actors going from set to set doing their one-line close-up shots in five or six different productions none of which they know anything about.

A lot of close-ups are a dead giveaway.

Try this in the mirror-

You walk in looking spruced up. The director says " you're taking the piss out of this smartass Stevie. Say this whilst looking at that lampshade as if it's a piece of ****". He shows you a large card on which is printed-

"And yet you love it dont you spendy?

You love the media, the telly the expenses, the travel, the glamour.

You're just not part of it, thats what bugs you."

You try it a few times making sure there's no difficult words. Work the indignant, sarcastic sneer effect up. Five takes- 10 minutes and you're out of there.

Next one you have your hair mussed up, some mud-like marks on your face, period costume (take your watch off) etc and the card reads-

"Oh, good Heaven, was that woman who is just gone out the woman who was with you at Upton?"

You're playing Partridge. Startled, shocked and dismayed.

I could have some fun with this but I'll desist. I never shoot at sitting ducks unless they have invited me over.

Not grumbling again today, Spendy, I see.

Should I send snorkle equipment to Britain? Perhaps scuba gear might be appropriate.

You can send most things to Britain. Snorkel equipment and scuba gear is okay. Might need checking by Health and Safety though.

I'm not sure about people.

Hey did anyone else see that Panorama programme last night about immigrants in Slough?
Amazing, and quite depressing. Even the recent immigrants were saying it should be stopped, the authorities have no idea how many illegals are coming in. And the census figures for the town's population and growth (+/-) is wildly innacurate, by all accounts. Many more people are there than are accounted for.

I missed the beginning. I hope they show it again, or develop the theme with more programmes.

I only read about that report online.
It's obviously a fault in the British system of reporting where people live .

Certainly, free access for European citizens to any EU-country leads to such - a couple of years ago, we had hundreds and hundreds of British craftmen illegally working here. (Which now changed to other nationalities.)

Perhaps the German bureaucracy isn't so bad as said. :wink:

Mac wrote-



Don't be so ridiculous. It'll be mostly lies and selective slanting designed to get "Disgusted of Torquay" popping his eyeballs with indignation and extra funding for something or other as a bonus. Maybe the other way round.

Have you a view on it Mac? As to the desireabilty or otherwise of immigrants coming in whose upbringing and training has been paid for by somebody else as compared to the desireability of those we have paid for ourselves. Somebody told me that there are few hundred Polish workers shovelling the sluch out of houses in Hull.

What do we know about the ins-and-outs of that stuff? Or Panorama ?

You're an immigrant yourself I gather.

I'm glad you noticed that I wasn't grumbling earlier. You must be getting a handle on my posts at last. No doubt there was plenty of grumbling in that programme. And moaning and groaning.

Since only knowledgeable and well educated people are on this thread ...

I've read today that the floods will bring a general increase in house insurances of abou 10%.

Do/Can you insure against such floodings normally?
(Along the rivers Mosel, Rhine, Elbe and some more, where you usually get floodings in Germany, such is impossible .... with 'normal' insurers.
And in other regions insurances against such floodings are so expensive that you better save the money in your stockings for repairs.)

It's murky water this Walter!



Thousands of claims will be submitted for missing items, there will be claims for looting be it factual or not. Other issues such as breakages by owners moving furniture etc from flooded areas will be submitted for damage not caused by the floods.Thousands of motor cars will be written off, they will in the main be insured via the car cover and claims will have to be honoured of course. There were many caravans and mobile homes written off, these will be normally insured. I rather think the majority of home-owners in these areas will be covered for the flood damage. There will be numerous occupiers, owners, who never insure regardless. Premises not accepted by insurance companies are few and far between and are usually with regard to buildings with a common history of being subjected to flooding.

The Insurance Companies will be making some big payouts in the months to come.

Polish workers are very prized in the hard-graft industries (mining, construction, abattoirs, cleansing)
Scottish workers are prized where a bit of brain-work is required. :wink:

Hey it's amazing at the moment, every time I turn on the TV or the radio it's a Jock spokesperson. Plenty more immigrants like me, evidently.

Thanks, Mathos. (I suppose, it's very similar to us .... except forthe Mosel, Rhine and now Elbe. [Heard some people from the Rhine and Mosel today being interviewed: they said, they were totally out of training since they hadn't had to move their stuff in the upper storeys this year - usually it's done twice per year.])

Increased insurance premiums will translate into reduced house prices almost £ for £. A house is worth nothing if you live in it and if you sell it it is only worth what a buyer will pay. And the buyer will take the insurance premium into account. Especially if it is large and the risk in the area is well known.

If they increase insurance premiums across the board they will be making those who live above flood plains subsidise those who do. Which wouldn't happen because a new insurance company would start up just insuring the ones who don't live in the risk areas at lower premiums. That could be legislated against but then it really is murky water.

Motor car insurers probe the market with their ads. They are genuinely looking for people who are low risk and paying more than their actuaries have worked out they need to do for that company to make a profit out of them. What ever group is being focussed upon. A high risk group just as much as a low. The signals are in the advert. Members of each group recognise themselves to some extent. The ad showing a nice lower middle-class lady in a nice lower middle-class looking pleased with herself is not seeking to attract the flash young city slicker with the flash bint in tow and the flash and racy repartee. He's a sort of one man flood plain. And he's not going to change for a while and there's competition in his risk bracket. By the time the flash bint has got him settled down mowing the lawn and being good and all he starts looking at the ad he most recognises himself in at that point. Then all these risks are carved up and sold on exchanges.

It's brilliant. Like Andy Warhol said- "Money is the only art now." And it is.
You're all in a live work of art.

You lucky people.

It would be easy to direct ads at those who live on higher ground. You just show them on their lawns playing with the dog with the river lower down in the background. Piece of piss. Delicate like. Tasteful music. Classic fm.

I heard tonight that the power station was within 6 inches of inundation. That would have been a real disaster.

but its still difficult

We all heard it Steve. It was on the News for flip's sake. We were on a knife edge. Again. Gotta keep their nerves on edge. Just like in the snooker final or that Millionaire pickpocketing scheme.

Did you not notice yesterday it was all about the water level peaking at 3 a.m. and then when we got up it hadn't happened. Again.

Media has a totally different agenda than those getting help to these people. Not on the same planet. Mr J Thomson has not delivered one single solitary bottle of water. All he's trying to do is look good; virtuous; concerned etc. And he doesn't give an "on the winger". And that Kate silly-sod. The one who flashed her gusset in the celebrity skating a good few times. Not see through of course.

And the principle they are working on is to flatter silly flippers like you into thinking you know what is happening and have the solution right there in your flipping couch potato setting. And you haven't the faintest idea. Not a clue.

Why are the people not being advised to go and stay with friends or relatives who have put up all these years with not having riverside views? The Army will see that there's no looters. How many archoles are there in the region who nobody will have for a few days in an emergency. Reducing the demand for bottled water is just as good as supplying it. Maybe not as macho.

If smorgsie was flooded out I would put up with her sleeping in my bed for that length of time. I would see it as a patriotic duty. Assuming she doesn't snore or anything like that I mean.

I must confess an interest though. I don't own a bottling plant.

Why has smorgsi's post been removed from this thread?

I think she said she would take spendius up on his kind offer to share his bed. There are some things the moderators will not tolerate.

Like the mirage, isn't it.

Something to do with trumping, I think.

And pussy on the roof.

It has just been on the news that the respectable gentlefolk of that glorious jewel of Middle-England , The City of Gloucester, are behaving in a manner which has caused the authorities to mark their hands with indelible ink when they receive their rations.

The last time I saw that technique employed was in a far away country not especially renowned for those human values we all hold so dear.


It is a vivid demonstration of how close we are to brutes as soon as the slightest strain appears.

All day yesterday we heard the word "bowsers" thinking that they were of that type we see at airports and filling petrol stations up when all the time they were no bigger than a domestic oil storage tank of modest dimensions and capable, when full, of being towed by a Morris Minor.

I remember seeing a crowd of almost 300,000 when Bob Dylan topped the bill in the all-day pinic at Blackbushe Airport and it was a large number of people but it was adequately catered for from 9.am to well after midnight by the organisers.

Perhaps they should be called in to replace this bunch of bureaucratic nonentities who are no doubt energetically battling with each other for supremacy in this dire emergency.