THE BRITISH THREAD II

W.A Penn wrote in The Soverane Herb ( Grant Richards 1901)

Quote:

The origin of the strange practice of inhaling the fumes of tobacco must not be sought among the pleasures of primitive man. It was as a religious rite that smoking originated; the burning of tobacco was an expression of man's homage to the Great Spirit. The burning of incense or spices has had a place in the worship of all peoples from time immemorial; and as myrrh and frankincense were offered in the East, so was tobacco in the West. Among all the aboriginal peoples of the Americas, from Cape Horn to Hudson's Bay, tobacco was regarded as a sacred plant, as the special gift of the gods to man. It was this fact that led European writers, Spenser among them, to term tobacco on its introduction the 'holy', the 'divine' herb.

The modern politician's drive to extremes of control freakery necessitate that we worship only them. They see the gods with envy in their power-crazed eyeballs.

They are even prepared to spend millions of taxpayer's money in propagandising two great lies and sapping the soft brains which they are busily creating through their educational policies. That money ends up in champagne teas on the terrace of the House of Commons, parties, banquets, wine bars, fashion houses, whorehouses retailing the sort of kinks associated with long jaded appetites and country weekends where they all have a good laugh at how easy it all was as they snort their lines of coke and feel inside each others trousers.

Well then- worship the silly sods. They are all you have left to look up to.

They are your "Flesh coloured Christs that glow in the dark", "and it's easy to see without looking too far that not much is really sacred."

You have been mesmerised folks and all your lives are going to be saved.

What for I cannot imagine. To keep worshipping for longer I suppose.

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Order from Minister of Educashun.

Remove Spenserr and Barie from English Literature curriculums fourthwith.

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This cigarette job really is getting to you Spendi, isn't it?

You no doubt feel like a leper, unclean, dirty and abominable. A social outcast, a disgrace to the human race, a let down to your friends, colleagues and countrymen in general. You are too, you should be ashamed of yourself.

No doubt you have tried to give up the filthy habit and found it intolerable to go through such a venture again! I notice you making some absurd comment about the first nine months. Ridiculous, as usual.

I think the first ten days are the worst avenue to go down, after that it isn't too bad, cravings come and go but only last a minute or two. There is a tendency to stick the nut on people who light up in your vicinity, but that is quite natural and perfectly understandable, the thicko's should show more concern and respect for us non-smokers.

I actually told one chappie on the car park of the casino last night, that he was being unsociable lighting his Lambert and Butler up without concern for others, and proceeded to show him how to make better use of the product by chewing it, twelve lengths at a time including the packet.

I think Mr Brown should introduce an interim law, whereby it is perfectly justifiable to whack with a stick or cane any one caught smoking, regardless of where they may be doing so. They are doing more harm to the non smoking people of Britain than Dengue fever or Malaria, are you aware of that?

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A classic example of the modus operandi of a mind unstimulated by the drug nicotine.

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spendius wrote:

A classic example of the modus operandi of a mind unstimulated by the drug nicotine.

How long do you educated people in the motherland let this raving lunatic get away with statements like that. The man turns into a complete f*ckwit every time he has been to his local watering hole.

Here another statement he made on another thread yesterday after being asked to answer a simple question on the 'True or False thread'
"That is not only false but an unwarranted, despicable and uncalled for denigration of my intelligence.
You are completely barmy and are only allowed to run loose because your form of barminess is harmless."

Over to you.

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You might have told the viewers what the question was my leetle cheekin.

They are hardly likely to be able to make any sense out of your ridiculous post without that information which I am unable to provide as I have forgotten what it was all about.

Obviously you don't smoke.

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All Britain should be a National Park - see today's Guardian!

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Quote:

I am not a gentleman, nor an officer, and if smorgie's posts and confessions are to be accepted at face value she is no lady except in the strict biological sense that word sometimes carries when used ironically.

he he he...

x

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Dutchy wrote:

spendius wrote:
A classic example of the modus operandi of a mind unstimulated by the drug nicotine.

How long do you educated people in the motherland let this raving lunatic get away with statements like that. The man turns into a complete f*ckwit every time he has been to his local watering hole.

Here another statement he made on another thread yesterday after being asked to answer a simple question on the 'True or False thread'
"That is not only false but an unwarranted, despicable and uncalled for denigration of my intelligence.
You are completely barmy and are only allowed to run loose because your form of barminess is harmless."

Over to you.

It is pretty useless arguing with Spendy, although sometimes amusing.

In the main, it is "like trying to wrestle with a pig. You'll only get covered in filth, and the pig enjoys it."

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Mathos wrote:

I actually told one chappie on the car park of the casino last night, that he was being unsociable lighting his Lambert and Butler up without concern for others, and proceeded to show him how to make better use of the product by chewing it, twelve lengths at a time including the packet.

You did what? Ate his cigarettes, packet and all? That shows commendable zeal.

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McTag wrote:

Men on bikes...and Lycra....men in tights...whoosh! and they're gone, till next year. What's that all about? Spectator sport? Do me a favour. Jacques Anquetil, I've heard of him. How do they pedal up these big hills so fast? Wouldn't it be easier on a moped?

Only joking. read in the Sunday paper that it was quite an occasion, lots of spectators, pleasure to millions, good thing.

Bonne chance, vive le sport, au secours les pompiers.

I did 5 years of French at school and it has left me inarticulate in two languages.

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Walter Hinteler wrote:

All Britain should be a National Park - see today's Guardian!

Bill Bryson can be quite funny.

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Hey, Walter! (et al)

The Germans are coming:

Herr Rudolf Anzinger - Permanent Secretary of the German "Bundessagentur fur Arbeit" the equivalent of Jobcentre Plus and the Director General Herr Bernd Buchheit will be visiting the UK from the 10 - 13 July. Both have been involved in the Labour market reform in Germany over the past five years and this is their first visit to the UK. During their study trip they would like to pay a visit to Manchester and are interested to learn about:

x

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learn about....?

you missed out the relevant bit

suggestions please

I'll kick off

"about the colour of Smorghshiousy's knickers".

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Just to help you out a bit Spendi!

When you get around to easing off, it's not simply nicotine you will be missing; There are apparently some 4,000 chemicals in each and every fag you smoke. Forty three of which are known to be carcinogenic, and which can lodge in fat cells all over the body including the brain. These include benzene, formaldehyde, carbon monoxide and ARSENIC plus sugar content!

Apparently there is an Allen Carr method which to date has been very successful at converting smokers to non-smokers, I haven't got around to looking at it myself yet, but I will do and for your benefit you can look it up on;-

allencarrseasyway.com

The window cleaner lit up this morning, and I told him I wasn't having it around my house and he would have to put it out, he laughed and did so, he said, 'Wife won't let me smoke in the house, I can't have a ciggy with my pint, now your stopping me having one up my ladder..Time to call it a day.' I told him he's better off without them, he said he was going to get some patches and give it a go, he's a sixty a day man as well!

You might have to move into a cave in The Scottish Highlands in a bit Spendi, smokers paradise eh?

Are you becoming all frustrated and aggravated oinky?

The dick-head on the car park I was referring to Mac! You thick jock.. Rolling Eyes

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I find that its always the extreme outliers of our civilization that, even when presented ample data that confirms a cause and effect relationship,they still indulge in self destructive habits.

Observation only: While most people, favored with an abundance of what we call"common sense" and the abilities to understand simple medical advice, will attempt to separate themselves from habits as smoking, a few less favored, just hang on to these habits that have severe life consequences, and they try to justify them as"mere choices" or "Victimless crimes" whose consequences are non of our businesses.

Each pack of smokes(and every cigar) should have a built in "indemnification service fee" that translates to a comp insurance policy so that ,a portion of each pack, say about 5 bucks or 2.5 pounds would be a contract for health services with the understanding that the rest of us wont be further burdened by increased heallth costs or medical insurance.
Now, my only probl;em is how to make this all retroactive to cover all those who , after years of practice,will statistically certainly be coming down with nice cases of lung cancer or emophysema, or in the cae of cigars, buccal cancer.

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smorgs wrote:

The Germans are coming:

Herr Rudolf Anzinger - Permanent Secretary of the German "Bundessagentur fur Arbeit" the equivalent of Jobcentre Plus and the Director General Herr Bernd Buchheit will be visiting the UK from the 10 - 13 July.

- Buchheit is the "Head of Directorate-General for Labour Market Policy, Employment for Foreigners, Unemployment Insurance, Basic Benefits for Job-Seekers at the "Federal Ministry of Labour and Socila Affairs"

- Anziger is the Permanent Secretary of State at the above ministry.

:wink:

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Re - the smoking ban,

my Nana said bingo was virtually empty on Saturday night.

I certainly couldn't sit through bingo without smoking at least 10 fags.

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Shame. Bingo is a social outing for many.

But, omelettes and breaking eggs and all that.

I feel reasonably confident the fabric of British society will hang together despite the smoking ban. And who knows, maybe even be stronger later.

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The connection between tobacco and thought, smoking and scholarship, has always been evident, and was recognised by the first European smokers and still is.

Mr Penn wrote-

Quote:

It has not escaped observation that the introduction of tobacco into the Old World was synchronous with the outburst of genius that illuminated the sixteenth century. The golden age of England was an age of tobacco. The giants of literature, statecraft, adventure and empire-building were all inspired by the fumes of tobacco; the empire of Britain was founded amidst clouds of smoke. The era of the weed's entry was that of the most brilliant achievements of the human mind.

And that applied to Europe as well. And "brilliant" there is a vast understatement. A new species was born. Actually it was born 500 years earlier in the foggy ruins of time and tobacco gave it a kick up the gusset.

fm's whole post is posited on the validity of the words "medical advice".

The medical profession is a business. It wants us all having long drawn out declines burdened with what Ivan Illich called "sub-lethal illnesses" and whinging and whining at their points of sale. Obviously.

And this is the sort of guff it puts out in its sales patter-

Quote:

There are apparently some 4,000 chemicals in each and every fag you smoke. Forty three of which are known to be carcinogenic, and which can lodge in fat cells all over the body including the brain. These include benzene, formaldehyde, carbon monoxide and ARSENIC plus sugar content!

The bogies. That stuff is in everything near enough as makes no difference. You car exhaust beats that easy and there's a lot more of that than there is tobacco smoke. Do you know what's in perfume? There's gold in your garden Mathos. If that stuff excites you you ought to be extracting it instead of insulting our intelligence with nannie's scaremongering.

Stopping smoking seems to me a soft option. It is putting your puny existence above that of the society and of your friends who then have to face a continuous stream of solipsistic drivel for ever and bloody ever.

Non smokers now have a duty to patronise the pubs and bingo halls but we know they won't. Duty is not something they ever think about. The company of non-smokers is enough to get a gate-post cringing.

Quote:

I owe to smoking, more or less,
Through life the whole of my success.
With trusty pipe I'm sage and wise;
Without I'm dull as cloudy skies.
When smoking all my ideas soar;
When not they sink upon the floor.
The greatest men have all been smokers,
And so were all the greatest jokers.

Anon. 1835.

Bloody prohibitionists.

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THE BRITISH THREAD II

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