THE BRITISH THREAD II

Tough luck. Events like this are often an unpleasant reminder that modern housing construction involves lots of water soluble materials. Good luck with the repairs !

Thanks gents, it's looking a bit better now. When I put the dishwasher back in, I'll take the fridge out to see what horrors lurk underneath there.

(not enough room to take both out at once, in a working kitchen)

Hope all that plumbing work doesn't keep you and Fiona from celebrating, McTag.

Happy Anniversary!

Sorry to hear about your bad luck Macker. Whats the point in living in a civilised country if it floods ? You might as well live here.....at least the bushfires dry out the floods, and the floods put out the bushfires.

Thanks, dear Letty. Kisses from us.

Hey, it's Friday, the weekend starts here.

I'm going on a reunion this evening in a Manchester pub. They're usually very pleasant affairs, a bit silly. We should number 10 or 15 people. I don't think Children In Need evening on the telly will affect that much.

I wonder how Smorgs' willow tree is faring. I planted an acer, at least it was labelled Acer but I think the labels were mixed, three years ago and it's faring rather badly. I think I will replace it, next March. Wrong tree, in the wrong place.

Kitchen, still damp, plinths still off. God knows what it has cost me in electricity for the fan heater.
A lesson too late for the learnin'- check your hidden stoptaps.

Hey Mc,

B'lated wishes.

I don't mean to be so aloof, it's difficult to post when I'm embargoed, as my job feeds into most things I want to say, as that's where I am most of the time...

We have had to sign up to an Electronic Media Policy, I can't discuss anything related to my job on any social networking site.

And I'm looking after me 80 year Mutha, and that's REALLY hard work I tell thee. She's deaf, but refuses to wear a hearing aid 'cos she can 'hear the leaves', which means I can barely speak after spending time with her - shouting.

I'm still 'managing', still not finished painting the doors, tree's still leaning, gone off X factor, went to see Due Date at the flicks - it was amusing, got a parking ticket when I got out.

Had a 'dress down' day for Kinder in Need, got an email from head office saying 'no t-shirts' then got one saying 'no trianers'! I ask ya? Why bother?

Anyroadup, we made 65 squids!

We also had a quiz which started with 'who is the secretary of state for the department for work and pensions?' - I didn't know (snigger). I came second in the office by one point, but I was robbed! The woman that won (by one point) had 3 of the answers of me!

But I'm not bitter...

Have a great weekend. It's only 7.00a.m. and I've got a wash on already - I'm just a domestic goddess.

x

I gave you a thumbs up because your post was so interesting. It is tough to deal with a parent who refuses to wear a hearing aid and management that has its head up its ass, but, you write so well about your tribulations.

Why thank you and Good Morning!

Have a good day.

x

Bummer about the non-disclosure pact, my feeling is that the situation at the Buroo, already dire, is bound to go into meltdown. I was kind of looking forward to hearing from an insider.

Government's latest wheeze: get off benefit, get a job....but for those who manage to improve their financial status, despite the odds, have your council house taken away.

I'm very deaf now, and I usually watch TV wearing headphones.
At such times, my dear wife, trying to help me lipread what she wants to say, looks like she's entered a gurning competition.

I mean that kindly, of course: she hams it up, we have a laff.

She sent me this today:

SMILE?


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat- shirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room and he shouted to me,

'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied.

'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' Liverpool .'

And they say blondes are dumb...

-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple are lying in bed.

The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

-----------------------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,

'honey, what do you think the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I must have married you for your money,' she replied.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumour

--------------------------------------------------



A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.

On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...

immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,


I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your man from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manuals'

-----------------------------------------------------------

Blimey!! Strauss out for a duck in the first over.

And off a 4 ball.

Ooooh!

x

Good job we didn't say that about a leaning willow sapling eh?

It's amazing how respectful men are isn't it?

What's the verdict after the first day spendi?

England were poor. But it was a good toss to lose. A toss winning captain needs a very good reason to put the other side in. But it was doing a bit but not enough to risk putting Australia in and seeing them get 550. That borders on a sacking offence.

It'll be finger on the up and down button in bed tonight with the cricket on Sky Sports 1 and the NFL on 3.

I'm not convinced there's more than ten minutes actual play in an NFL game. There's 12 time-outs (I think) a 2 minute warning for the end of each half, loads of trooping on and off the field, penalty flags take a while and booth reviews even longer. And all the while the commentators are hinting how tough and exhausting it is. None of that taking the piss out of other commentators like Sir Ian & Co do.

Adverts are what it's all about I think. And can you imagine the cricket lot being so coy as to not show the cheer leaders much. If at all. When England last played in the West Indies they showed the dancing girls every time a boundary was scored and some tasty totty in the stands as well. They even showed them in India. All dusky doe-eyed doxies too. Being slinky.

I'm up for Australia. I hate show-offs and rate busters and I hate those here more than your's.

Have you seen Kevin's moustache? He's a South African btw.

Let's hear it for dusky doe-eyed doxies.

Don't tempt me Mac.