Shhhh!
I'm still hanging over...
Must be my age - 48 hours to recover.
My false eyelashes are still stuck to my bedside cabinet (true), I wasn't up to cleaning yesterday, I'm going to peel them off and flick them into the far corner of me boudoir and look forward to hoovering them up with my new Dyson rollerball later. Unless the cat gets to them first.
Had indentations on my tits from putting the change from the bar down my chemise, imagine if I would have copped?
x
This has turned into the gross thread.
@plainoldme,
What?? There's nothing gross about lifting up a bra and two big tits and a cascade of coins come under the influence of gravity. A sunset over Liverpool bay has nothing on that.
@smorgs,
Not copped? And you were pissed? What were these men thinking of?
I once copped off with a willing female with a lumpy bra, thinking this has got to be a win-win situation, but it turned out to be lose-lose, know what I mean?
@McTag,
I don't Mac so perhaps you might exercise your literary talants on a description of the event if only to discover how much effort is required to compose a short essay on one subject which both entertains the reader and elicits his admiration for the breadth of the linguistic tricks brought to bear.
It were a wedding McT!
It's hard to cop at a wedding, after a certain age, men go with wives. Besides, I didn't say there were no copping opportunities, there were, just would have necessitated lowering my standards too much...
This thread isn't gross, PlainOldYou, it's The British Thread, it has to have a touch of the Benny Hill's every now and again - it's in our genetic make-up to be pre-disposed to smut, and we're all the healthier for it!
Besides, it's Sunday and there's **** all on the telly.
x
@McTag,
Why, did it only contain copper?
I had at least £4.50 down mine.
x
@spendius,
You've never seen a pair of breasts in your life except in a magazine, you twit.
I see you're all enthralled by my cookery exploits. Well the man across the road, who has an allotment, gave me a box of damsons this week. And then another friend gave us some homegrown apples. I stewed the damsons and separately, the apples, not too much sugar in each, and then I poached some dessert plums- I had bought those- in the stewed apple for a few minutes.
These fruits we had with some Ambrosia custard (from a carton, natch) and it was awfully good. Sweet cold custard, warm tart fruits, very nice indeed.
@plainoldme,
I dare not hint at my experiences POM for fear of embarrassing you all.
@smorgs,
I have a signed photo of dear Benny on my lounge wall. He is depicted sat on a chair in a black beret with his arms folded and six Hill's Angels in close attendance. Which came with a nice letter explaining that he couldn't use my suggestion for a sketch I had offered him. It involved an excercise bike with a dynamo from which wires ran to a number of rooms at a health farm. He was being encouraged to pedal faster by the Orderly Officer.
@smorgs,
Quote:It's hard to cop at a wedding
What do you think weddings are all about ? Perhaps you are just too fussy in your old age.
@plainoldme,
Quote:You've never seen a pair of breasts in your life except in a magazine
Breasts in magazines ?? How long has that been going on ?
My car will add to the general interest of the M6 today as I turn the nose of my trusty steed northwards to resume my campaign against Scotland's fish.
So look out, Spendy. Where are you near? Preston? Lancaster? Further north? If we can tie this down, I'll try to remember to give you the appropriate salute as I pass.
@McTag,
Keep your windows down. You'll recognise the smell.
@spendius,
You shy, elusive creature you.
OK McTag out.
@Ionus,
...and how old are you, Ionus?
x
@smorgs,
Quote:...and how old are you, Ionus?
Just old enough to have served 24 years in the army, joining when I was 17, have 5 kids and enter early retirement.
By the way, I dont do sex on the first date.
ha ha ha ha - how quaint...
Where is everybody?
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