THE BRITISH THREAD II

Mornin'

x

Morning - you must have had a very early cup!

Call that a dawn chorus? more like a dawn ***t.

At any rate, considerably less than requested, to wit, a full report on the camera team's antics in your premises and how did it work out with the extra slap?

I can't see any posts?
Can you see this?

x

Yes - and all the others (well, I have to turn the page to see a couple more).

Oh, I can see them now...

Now I've posted.

Anyroadup, the press junket turned out to be the MEN!

So much for my close up - and they chose two 'normal' looking blokes with ties on (even though we took Union action not to force men to wear ties some years ago) to photograph, they were loving it, much to me chagrin. Should be in Friday night. Of course they didn't choose me, considered far to dangerous to be let loose on the press, don't know why? I behave with proper decorum when necessary...

Should have seen the 'big knobs' hovering round lest we display any sedition.

Well it was all very exiting for half an hour.

x

You're star struck smorgsie.

TV people think they are the bee's knees and they are actually grade 1 assholes who lie and cheat even when they are dreaming. The scum of the earth. They look shifty from a mile off. If there was no TV they would have to work on fairgrounds and racecourse car-parks. Take a good critical look at Boredom Gurns and Sandy Mingy at 6.30. Have you seen Mick Harkinson selling burial insurance. What a tosser.

I would have had a day off to avoid breathing the same air as them.

I've met some TV people and Spendy is quite right.

Smorgs, are you not getting the full service here?

Can you, say, read back a page or two?

There's something wrong with the way A2K is displayed on my PC...

I can't view recent posts, it stays stuck on my last post - when I go into brit page and click on other posters (muckty, suspendy, Walt etc) I can see the 1st line of their posts but when I click on 'view' it's just mine??? The only way I can view new posts - is to post???

And when I click log off - it doesn't???

Doesn't happen at wotk, anybody any ideas?

x

'Boredom Gurns' is ver, ver funny!

I'm not bloody starstruck! Didn't want to be on't telly really...

Just amused by the game - that's all.

What I am, however, is a very good advisor. I will make huge efforts for you if you are genuinely looking for work. I will help with applications, I will help sort out your multiple debt situation, I will refer you to a counseller, alcohol/drug dependancy help, even Gamblers Anonymous (with suitable Data Protection Act disclaimer signed). I will see people after my diary finishes for the day, I will cut my lunch short to practice interview techniques with you, I will approach employers for you, I will write personal letters of support for you, I will help you produce a better C.V. AND print off 30 copies, at 4.30 in the morning at home, to keep you going., 'cos I know you're skint, and we're already taking £5.00 out of your benefit for the mess you got into with your Council Tax. I will make a case for funding a bike for you, as I've noticed that you have become very depressed since your other one was nicked from outside the Jobcentre - and I know you like to go and see your Mam in Gorton, I gave you extra "FOR A BLOODY BIKE LOCK". I will give you a tenner out of my purse, cos your crisis loan won't be through 'till tomorrow, and I know if you don't get 10 fags, some chips and credit for your phone you will be further isolated and sink deeper, I will give you a tissue, if you cry at my desk, because the only work you've ever known is bricklaying, plastering, labouring and there's is NOTHING out there for you, it's the first time you haven't been able to provide for your family, and you don't know where to go, or what to do now. Sometimes you will make me cry...

I have received cards, gifts, and proposals over the years, but nothing beats a customer arriving in front of my desk, holding up their signing off slip. Then (if they qualify - I will bend the rules - but not brake them) I will issue them with a voucher for new clothes, so you feel a bit more confident on your 1st day. I have a speech that goes with it: 'This voucher is the same as money, YOU are a paying customer and should be treated with repect, if you don't get it, let me know, and I'll be having words (and I will). I've included small items like socks, tie and undies, so you can use it all up, try and keep a little for a good copping shirt. Well done, I'm poud of you'.

And that's what SHOULD be in the paper.

x

Did you like the reference to the Fokker, spends, you fokker?

x

You're a real brick babe. It makes me sick seeing thieves like Goodwin signing themselves £650k pensions for life after running their company into the ground and good folks like you doing that for people.

Everybody should be brought up Christians. You're a lovely advertisement for the Pope my sweet one.

Mornin'.

Bloody hell, spends...

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me! But I'm not unique, there's plenty of people like me. It just bothers me that there is so much media bashing of Jobcentres at the moment, and Gordon is allowing us to take the flak. He keeps making grand speeches about re-training - yet we have 400 people waiting for the Fork Lift Truck course, but we're not allowed to say that, oops, I just did.

x

She's a Papist? I thought she was an Anarchrist.

The Pope would prefer her to stay at home and raise 14 little catholics. Probably.

No offence.

Does anyone else here watch Damages, the crime series with Glenn Close?

It's really very good.

I saw one episode by pure chance when zapping through the programs (it's on one of the smaller cable tv stations here).
I suppose, a lot got lost in the translations ...
(They stopped the films after the first season last year.)

I can be anything you want me to be, Stevie...

I've got a Korean refugee customer. Interviewed him for ages with an interpreter. I asked (through the interpreter) how he managed to keep going on holiday to China, as he'd been on benefits for nearly two years.

After long conversations between the customer and the interpreter - the interpreter looked at me and said:

"on a plane".

x

He's probably a mule for dim sum and bean sprouts.

Right, we're going up to the Arnside area (it's nice up there, just before Grange-over-Sands and Barrow-in-Furness) today for a party tonight, and returning tomorrow.
Looking forward to that. But it's the only area of England where rain is forecast for today. Ah well, I suppose we'll just have to sit in the pub and drink.