THE BRITISH THREAD II

A flutter of skirts, the merest lingering trace of scent, and she's gone.

Apparently the oil is very good for mature skin.

Has it worked for you, DPad?

Anyway, I can't come on and just post away...

Have to do some posting foreplay first.

x

Hey Smorgs Gal

How the heck are you? Last time I heard, you were power tool in hand putting together some such unit of another!!!!!

What have you been up to girl? Hope life's being kind to you! x

smorgsie wrote-



That's all very well Madam, with all due respect, as is to be expected, but it seems that with so many important things on your mind and distracting you as they do it has understandably slipped your mind, an object which couldn't possibly have derived from a monkey, that men are complete idiots regarding the matter of acceptable foreplay for an estimable Lady of experience and it therefore follows, quite logically, common-sense if you prefer, that they need to be provided with direction in even the most minute and simplest techniques in order to produce a flicker of arousal sufficient to be able to find the fuse box with when all the lights go out suddenly.

Otherwise we poor men are left guessing and you can see from the state of things how good we are at that.

And to achieve such a flicker of arousal in posts is a doubly difficult task, a test even, because our guesses cannot be guided by approving low moans of incohate ecstasy or our hair being gently tugged on, in Mac's case his ears, or it being made easier for us.

All we have to go on is that you disapproved of testestery talk. In mixed social groups I always watched for the lady who had the most impatience with testestery talk and lo and behold I found myself standing next to her from which position I sought to relieve her obvious dissatisfaction and gradually detach her from the main group and, with a modicum of luck, have her, in a couple of weeks stretched out languidly of the sandhills you can see in the distance in the golf.

We can only conclude that if we wish to bring you back into our company on the Brit thread, as the others are obviously desperate to do judging by all the smarmies they have been lardilarding you with, and to little effect, we had better cease the TT and try to discuss what you are interested in.

I suppose, though I don't know, that you have been on strike this last week , biting the hand that feeds to further satisfy unwarranted and wandering desires I call such things, and that you are interested in that.

But when we discussed that before you got mad at me so that's out.

I know. We can suggest things and seek your opinion.

I'll let Mac go first.

I think I'm being led up the garden here.

I have a problem with people who take under-threes to crowded events in push chairs, like at the Tall Ships event in Liverpool this weekend.
The kids have no interest in being there, and some are quite frightened by the crowds. Certainly bemused. And all they can see are the legs of the surrounding throng.
And their mothers feed them unsuitable food and drinks, and then have to stop the chair in the middle of a moving crowd to wipe them or clean up a spill, of to try to stop them crying, bending over and causing a people-jam at least three persons wide.
And all this is totally predictable.
I think the science of eugenics is too much maligned. Certain people should be neutered so that they cannot cause such problems.

I saw Diane Abbot MP on a late-night TV show last week, and she said some things which you couldn't disagree with, about fecklessness among her constituents.

It is our natural, ingrained fecklessness that is the substance of our charm.

The sights you are complaining of Mac are easily avoided if they bother you. Actually, I find the sight of a mother wiping the slush from a little lad's chin quite a pleasant one. It's shows she is trying. And they have to bend over when they lean down which is quite often a fairly edifying spectacle.

I don't think the kids are that bothered where they are as long as they are with their mum.

I hardly think you have presented sufficient evidence to justify only allowing those you approve of to breed. Nor for the implication that only those who are like yourself should be allowed in the vicinity of a Tall Ships gig. You'll be wanting the street cleared of people next for when you decide to go for a stroll.

If the British people were all like you would have them we would be on the bones of our arse.

You want to avoid the sandhills for your nefarious activities Spendy, that sand is wicked stuff.

You've never been to Liverpool then?



I'm not actually complaining about that. I'm complaining of them choosing to do it in in a standing density of ten people per square yard, and of taking them into an environment which is no interest to them and thereby causing a big nuisance to others.
Likewise big cross-country tandem buggies in shops where there is no space in the aisles.



That idea has its attractions, but maybe I did misspeak a little.
I did not go there hoping to be on my own, please note. I am willing to share. And to let some people be near me, if they wash and are polite.



Whatever can you mean? Was it not Wellington who said "I don't know whether they frighten the enemy, but by God they frighten me." Britain's hardy sons and daughters have seen us through many a crisis, and shall do again, by Harry.

As my favourite radio announcer, Clive Robertson, sadly left the ABC, taught us to say:
Madame - if you don't like children, and don't want them, why on earth do you have them?

It was to be used in circumstances just such as you describe.

The answer margo is that "I had them to play with like in the movies but I hadn't realised they were little monsters."

Let the record show, I was not complaining about children.

I was complaining about their mothers taking prams and push-chairs into crowds.

I'm not very PC about wheelchairs, either.

I'm for everybody pushing and shoving as best they can.

It is what they will do anyway so I might as well get used to it.

There's no law against avoiding it is there?

Do you know what, I will have to face more of this (in the greater cause) because we're off to Wallasey soon to view the ships leaving the Mersey.

It'll be on the box tonight.

Hope I can get parked somewhere adjacent.

Hello sailors!

And now, my lads, we're off Holyhead
No more salt beef or weevilly bread
And a man in the chains for to heave the lead
Oh Jenny, get your oatcakes done

And now, my lads, we're off Fort Perch Rock
All hammocks lashed and all chests locked
And we'll haul her in to the Waterloo Dock
Oh Jenny, get your oatcakes done.

I'll look out for you on tv McT.

I thought you might go and see them off...quite a spectacle I should think.

I've been suffering from GOUT in my left foot. So was wheeled round to the neighbours in my bath chair with ear trumpet to celebrate their lillies opening.

I had to drink a boxer wine. Not a box of wine but

http://www.laithwaites.co.uk/article.aspx?product_code=39754

and now I'm cured.

I shall keep a few bottles in stock in case I get another attack. Or perhaps drink it anyway to keep it at bay.

I'n not an expert Steve but I gather gout is caused by uric acid in the blood.

The cause, as with many things, is most often dietary. Vegan diets are claimed to help.

I think it's a form of arthritis.

correct. Excess uric acid. Too many foods high in purines. It was the bacon sandwich that did for me.


Gout can be bloody painful...not so bad for me. I SHOULD BE IN BED

g night all

off on my travels

If Prince Charles had gout he'd call it guyt.

Bummer, Steve. I hear it can be remarkably sore.

Wallasey was nice today. A lot of people and quite a few prams too, but plenty of space so no probs.
There must have been 200,000 people on the esplanade from New Brighton to Seacombe, and more on the fringes. There were coachloads from all over the country- Deven, Kent, Yorkshire. Mobbed.
We saw the sail-past, which was great, a stirring sight and in bright sunshine too.
The second-last ship out was the Polish barque Dar Mlodziezy which we call Darn ma Jersey, followed by Christian Radich and a throng of small craft, naval boats, fire tenders sending up waterspouts, ferryboats etc to give them a great send-off.

Surely Mac there was a Police Motor Launch bringing up the rear to make sure everything was orderly and shipshape.

What are Police Motor Longlunches for?

As long as there were "quite a few prams" it's okay. The housing market needs prams like Bruce Forsythe and Rod Stewart need machismo.

One of the remarks Diane Abbott came out with: interviewing a single mum

Constituent: "I've got five kids in a two-bedroom flat, and the council have made no effort to rehouse me- I keep complaining to them but nothing happens"

MP: "How many kids did you have when you moved in?"

"Two"

-"Well you haven't got a housing problem, have you, you've got a family planning problem, or a self-restraint problem"