THE BRITISH THREAD II

you like cat ****?

I know that...

I should have said 'on my brakes', it was on the thick black rubber things, I think my bike was a raleigh (wasn't everybody's?).

Yes, I heard about the alligence thing on the news, made me laugh when one of the talking heads called muslim kinder 'Tommy Taliban', made me think of the 'Johny Foreigner' of old... ah well, plus ce change (or however you spell it).

Had a crap day at work - still, the early dentist appointment did give me BB lips for a few hours. And I pissed myself laughing with Eunice at lunch when she asked me if she would make a good girl guide, alluding to a story in the paper of an 80 year old still dib-dibbing. I assured her she would... and gave her examples of the many badges she could sew on her uniform: blow job badge, fag badge, back door badge and many other merits that come with her age and experience, far too rude to put here - I know you're a sensitive bunch.

x

Just noticed, when I was posting the above, that there were loads of banner adverts for bike things, technology eh? How smart is that? Good job they don't know what we're thinking...

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Oh, and by the way, I didn't really 'piss myself' laughing. I have excellent bladder control.

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Now I'm off out, to pick up a table.

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I think the oath of allegiance would be a good thing.
The Jesuits know a thing or two.

We need to bring back civic pride and a sense of belonging, and of responsibility. The OoA would be a first step towards that.

Anyone see the Enoch Powell "Rivers of Blood" programme?

"Back Door Badge"....isn't there already a Girl Guides badge for carpentry?

:wink:

You're far too posh Muckty.

x

smorgsie wrote-



Don't forget to put it down. Remember the last scene in The Man With Two Brains.

10 to 1 I got. Now I have a nice bank for Denman. But I'm a bit worried about the ground. Chelsea couldn't handle the soft sluch.

If Katchit takes to the fencing game look out for it in the Grand National in about 3 years. That is one tough horse.

yes. And I still dont know what to make of it.

10/1 brilliant. I backed a horse at 10/1 once in the 2.30 at Southwell. It came in at three fifteen.


boom boom

back door badge indeed missy. Youse go wash out your mouth!

Muckty wrote:



I saw it too - it was... of it's time.

Stevieooh,

Youse got a dirty mind:

Blow job = when your raleigh tire deflates, and your riding along a country road, hair blowing in the breeze, summer days of yore and girl guiding, remember those? When you would go off on your bike for hours, and your Mam never worried, 'cos there were no peodophiles or taliban... or petrol stations with air for sale @ 20p? Then you'd have to dismount and attend to the tire yourself.

Back door = When you would practice fire drills and lead OAP's and small dogs to safety... through the back door.

Honestly!

As if!

Table's in! Me, Eunice, spanner and an estate car. Sisters are doin' it for themselves... big, eff off, table too. (and 3 chairs).

x

At work...

We have mystery shoppers. They either phone or come in person. They usual ask us dead hard benefit questions, like 'is industrial injuries compensation, taxable?'. If you get them right, you can claim £25 in vouchers of your choice. Trouble is everybody claims it was they who answered, as we don't get the results for a few weeks. Loads of people reckoned they answered the last mystery shop... including me. I sent an email to my boss saying 'I'm Sparticus'. I don't think she understood it as she said she had a 'weird' email from me...

Any road up, as we can't decide who really deserved it, we elected to have the vouchers collectively and shop for a 'office breakfast'. My manager thinks it'll foster good 'working together' practice. I think it'll end with a slanging match. It's already started... had an email of someone asking if it's going to be organic? I replied that it would, as I was going to roll the sausages in **** first (not quite put like that, as we have a rude word filter). Then I got one of Eunice asking for tofu bacon, I sent one back saying 'eff off, and stop taking the piss'.

I'm on porridge duty...

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interesting life you lead smorgie. better than cycling up hill

My life's not interesting, stevie...

It's a little life.

My little life, rounded by a sleep

I'd rather be riding a bike.

Lucky you.

x

I made French toast tonight and stank the place out with frying smells.

My guitar teacher started me off on a Django Reinhardt piece today but it's a simple one.

I like Smorgs' stories about the office...which sounds a bit like that Charlie Chaplin film.

well you make it sound interesting, which is to your credit. Dont we all lead little lives?

The devil is in the detail. Like McT's cooking.

If you're there at 8.00, Muckty, I'll slip you in the back door and you can sample my porridge...

Honey, or natural, unrefined cane sugar?

At work...

I've got a desk that moves up and down electronically, seriously, it's the envy of the Jobcentre, with a lovely, fine grain, ash veneer, not your corporate, blue, boring desk. When I get back from leave, someone's always sat at it, coveting it. I drag 'em away kicking and screaming, tell 'em to get back in their own corporate woodchip.

I set at various heights, depending on the customer. There's 'let's have a cocktail and forget all about this unemployment nonsense' and 'bend to my will'.

Do you miss work, Muckty?

Bet you wouldn't miss an office job.

x

Not a lot.



Not at all.



I miss something, but it's not work.

Do you really have breakfast in the kitchen at work, Smorgie? Perhaps I should bring you a baguette to cheer you up.