THE BRITISH THREAD II

spendius wrote:

Did you see that scene in Love Actually where the English gump says ta-ta to his black mate at Heathrow on his way to the USA , the shagging road as he called it, with the words "cos I've got a bog knob." and it cuts to him in a taxi and he says to the driver-"just drop me off at any old typical American bar" and when he orders his beer the girl on the next stool pulls back her facial coverings and says expectantly "are you English?" and he says "yes I am actually" and then her mate comes in and she gets told he's English and then another one and they have a party and then we see some shadows on a window blind of the four of them doffing off and subsiding out of view.

You could tell he knew his Darwin backwards.

Wow thats the first post by you spendy that I have 100% completely understood without having to even try!
Hope everyone had a great xmas, I did! Lots of books Smile

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Well- I have been trying to keep it simple recently.

This is not a thread where you can go down intellectual byways as you have probably noticed.

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Mornin' all. I managed to survive the man flu and have spent the past few days roasting my chestnuts by an open fire in the back of beyond. Just think withnail.
Stayed with family (that was the only drawback) who live in a house halfway down a shiity mud track that leads to a farm, so I've been woken by loud mooing from about 6am. For the first few days I thought it was my sister calling me down for breakfast.

I also forgot to bring my boots, so had to make do with borrowed wellies but got some good walking in despite the annoying slapping of rubber on calf. Spent the rest of the time with Veno's chesty in one hand and tab in the other.

Hope you've all had a good christmas and not overdone anything.

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I've often watched walkers on the telly when they do something about footpaths or Penine Ways. It looks mainly like pensioners courting from what I've seen. The real Dales is more like Emmerdale isn't it?

Is it as boring as it looks. I saw some once heading into a sleet-laden easterly gale. That looked really boring. Doing it I mean. Watching it on telly's okay. Spreadeagled along my perfect sofa. For a minute or two.

The Government in it's wisdom tarmacs all the pathways for easy walking and these walkers, who have all driven to the start point, are on a bloody Roman road slithering about and "whoopsing" and catching a hold.

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spendius wrote:

Well- I have been trying to keep it simple recently.

This is not a thread where you can go down intellectual byways as you have probably noticed.

If that's how you prefer to think of your brainfarts.

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And informing us all that you are going fishing tomorrow is not a brainfart is it not?

We will have to hope that everybody going fishing tomorrow isn't moved to come on this thread to inform us.

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Today. You're not paying attention.

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Oh--I was Mac. I put it like that because it was more silly.

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Mornin' all!

I'm going fishing tomorrow.

Flirty fishing.

I'm still ill, but have managed to grace you all with my presence.

Should hear my voice, it's very husky, I could do a sex line, I could say "what colour are your underpants" in a very sexy voice.

x

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Underpants is not a very sexy word, is it. But I'm sure Smorgs, in her new husky voice, could give it some allure.

Okay if nobody wants to know how my day's fishing went, I'll keep that information to myself.

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Stop carping on about fishin'.

It's cruel!

x

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Did McT went fishing in a carpal channel?

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Francis wrote:

Did McT went fishing in a carpal channel?

Izzy a gillie?

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Just reading the label on my Nytols.

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

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A song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAa8vwmeewU

x

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Very good. Flat shoes and very long fingers, I notice.
I've got a vinyl LP of Aretha singing old stuff in the 1960s before "Respect" made her such a big star and it's really good. String bass, simple recordings, no clutter, class.
She's a music machine.

Shame about Oscar Peterson, a giant and a genius, no longer Art Tatum's disciple on earth.

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As we come up to Hogmanay, it's a time for looking back and thinking about old friends. I miss Lord Ellpus; he was a good writer, always with a smile and a merry quip.

I wonder where he is now- probably spent Crimbo in France at his gite.

Here's to the noble lord anyways, may his chestnuts never explode.

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I've just read this and wished I hadn't.

Typical fooking Essex man. Who the hell would give a quad bike to a seven year old?

BBC News item

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And this is a very good reason why I've not taken a season ticket this year. Why oh why we took this idiot, god alone knows.
Who else is sick and tired of our prima donna premiership players these days?

I remember when a Sunday roast used to mean a blow out dinner with the family. Crying or Very sad

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smorgs wrote:

Stop carping on about fishin'.

It's cruel!

x

Are you including sea fishing here, smorgs? Last April (or was it May?) I paid £15 for a day on a boat, another £15 or so on beer and food and came home with over 70 mackerel for the freezer, all caught on a line.
I still have about ten left, and thoroughly enjoy grilling and eating one when the fancy takes me. At less than 50p each, they're bloody good value and are one of the healthiest things you can eat.
Don't tell me you'd prefer them to be scooped up in a drift net and left to die slowly on some factory boat.
Each one of mine were bopped and stored in ice within a minute or so of being caught.

Now, river fishing is another matter, unless it's trout or salmon. If you can't eat the thing, why spend all day trying to outwit it, only to throw it back?

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THE BRITISH THREAD II

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