55
   

THE BRITISH THREAD II

 
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Nov, 2007 02:33 pm
Bonfires are thrilling, though.

I like them.

Elemental. Timeless. Evocative.
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Nov, 2007 06:20 pm
McTag wrote:
Bonfires are thrilling, though.

I like them.

Elemental. Timeless. Evocative.


And huge amounts of unnecessary carbon released int the atmosphere
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Nov, 2007 06:46 pm
Mac wrote-

Quote:
Bonfires are thrilling, though.

I like them.

Elemental. Timeless. Evocative.


Take it easy Mac. You could end up with an elemental, timeless evocative lady with a philosophy like that. A Pagan even.
0 Replies
 
hamburger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Nov, 2007 07:26 pm
FROM THE BBC : TEN ENGLISH LAWS TO OBEY Shocked :wink:

Quote:
The UK's top 10 most ridiculous British laws were listed as:


1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down (7%)

3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)

4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned (5%)

5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter (4%)

6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (4%)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)

8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour (3%)

10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)
0 Replies
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 03:12 am
spendius wrote:
Mac wrote-

Quote:
Bonfires are thrilling, though.

I like them.

Elemental. Timeless. Evocative.


Take it easy Mac. You could end up with an elemental, timeless evocative lady with a philosophy like that. A Pagan even.


Scratch the surface, I think the Pagan is there in all of us.

I mentioned back there that I preferred the onset of winter to any other season. Does anyone else feel like that?
0 Replies
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 03:13 am
There was Hanburger, welcome to the thread Hbg, proving once again that the law is an ass.

Some of our laws are very quaint....no-one seems to think it worth the bother of repealing them.
0 Replies
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 03:16 am
I went to see the film "Sicko" (Michael Moore) yesterday, and it was very good. It made me cry a few times, but I am a bit soft I suppose.
0 Replies
 
Steve 41oo
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 06:01 am
Bonfire night has lost all meaning for me since they stopped burning effigys of the Pope.
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 06:28 am
Who, in his right mind, would burn effigies of Alexander Pope?
0 Replies
 
Doowop
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 06:34 am
Francis wrote:
Who, in his right mind, would burn effigies of Alexander Pope?


The descendants of Homer, who were a bit annoyed about some of his translations?
0 Replies
 
Doowop
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 06:38 am
Like Bart, for instance? Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 06:41 am
I said: in his right mind. Cool
0 Replies
 
McTag
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 06:55 am
Doowop wrote:
Like Bart, for instance? Very Happy


No, no, Bart wrote "Oliver".

You gotta pick a pocket or two.
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 07:11 am
Mac wrote-

Quote:
Scratch the surface, I think the Pagan is there in all of us.


During Mr Gibbon's description of the elegant Pagan temple consecrated to Apollo near Antioch during the reign of Julian there are these sentences concerning the ceremonials which took place there-

Quote:
A thousand streams of the purest water, issuing from every hill, preserved the verdure of the earth and the temperature of the air; the senses were gratified with harmonious sounds and aromatic odours; and the peaceful grove was consecrated to health and joy, to luxury and love.
The vigorous youth pursued, like Apollo, the object of his desires; and the blushing maid was warned, by the fate of Daphne, to shun the folly of unseasonable coyness. The soldier and philosopher wisely avoided the temptation of this sensual paradise; where pleasure, assuming the character of religion, imperceptibly dissolved the firmness of manly virtue.


So now you know Mac the explanation of the "weepies" whilst watching a propaganda movie.

It might be worth noting that the persuasion of the blushing maids with threats of being transformed into a laurel bush is the ground in which Germaine Greer planted her "All men are rapists" slogan. Or part of it at least.

As Christianity falls into desuetude the primacy of emotion over reason in human nature will inevitable lead to an upsurge in paganism. And modern biolological science, soon to be taught at a school near you, claims to have evidence that displays of "unseasonable coyness" by blushing maids transforms them into withered bats and encourages the onset of certain pathological conditions of the psycho/soma.

Paganism is a hopeless religion in the presence of "unseasonable coyness" in maids either blushing or otherwise. Pious pagan maidens are voracious sexually.
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 07:17 am
spendius wrote:
Pious pagan maidens are voracious sexually.


I can cope with paganism of blushing maids...

or christianism of blushing maids...

or any other religion's blushing maids..
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 07:27 am
Oh yeah!!
0 Replies
 
Mathos
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 11:37 am
Afternoon you moaners! Now't at all wrong with kids and a few bangers, bloody spoilsports. We used to love shoving bangers up car exhausts and throwing rockets down the main road, no fun watching them go up in the sky, but flying down Washway Road or Rochdale Road was good fun.


Good bike ride today, about 30 miles. Strong head wind for half of it too, didn't like that much.

I went to the gym later, bit of a work out, then to the pool fifty lengths crawl, sixty breast-stroke. Nice steam for fifteen minutes and a twenty minute sauna.

New one in steam room.

There was a lady there I had never seen in complex before. Simply asked her if she had been in the gym. No she replied. I only come for the steam room, the NHS pay for it because I have bronchitis!

I could hardly believe it, but she re-confirmed. So you can't go in pool or sauna then. No she replied not unless I pay an additional sum to use the other facilities but NHS pay for fifteen minutes in steam room.

Ah well, you learn something new everyday.
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 12:04 pm
She obviously didn't fancy you my dear. She wouldn't have told you she had bronchitis if she had.

And to think that such a tale of woe is going to surprise us lot. Can't you see that it's some sort of fix some minor civil servant has going with the gym owner.

Do you know what the gym was getting paid for this performance. The lady is merely a pawn. Flu jabs are a mass variation on the theme. You only think they are free. I'll bet they are at least ten quid a go what with all the sterilising and having to have a nurse present in case anybody faints. If they prevent members of the medical profession from having to turn their central heating down I suppose one might say that they do help reduce the risk of getting flu.

Did she have a taxi to and fro?

And you really ought to use proper punctuation in reported speech. If you want us to pay attention to your boring stories you might at least make some effort to present it to us properly. You get most noise from least effort banging a drum. It's bloody patronising.

Why didn't you suggest her getting a job in a laundry? Were you patronising the lady as well.
0 Replies
 
Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 12:19 pm
McTag wrote:
Bonfires are thrilling, though.

I like them.

Elemental. Timeless. Evocative.


Last bit sounds like a perfume commercial.

Smile
0 Replies
 
Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Wed 7 Nov, 2007 12:19 pm
Especially if you whisper it.
0 Replies
 
 

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