Mornin' chaps!
Mornin' tits!
("Mornin' smorgs", tits reply in pinky and perky voices).
I could do with another hour in bed!
x
I could do all day in bed..
(Mornin'!)
I was impressed with two TV documentaries yesterday evening....one on the Indian Mutiny and its aftermath, and one on the Iraq invasion and the criminal incompetence of the invaders.
Excellent programmes both. Anyone else see them? I would like to see the first one again....I missed a bit at the beginning.
Mornin', you fellow loafers.
First full day off in nine, so I'm going to be a total lazy git for most of the morning. Suggestions? I could either watch morning TV, take myself in hand or stroll down the local spoon for a full fry up. Would I be overdoing it if I did all three?
I didn't see either of those programmes last night, McTag, as I was taking part in a pub quiz until my grey cells were too addled to take the thing seriously. It's very hard to remember the comical name of some obscure third world dictator when you've had one too many, so I just gave in and tried chatting up the Czech girl who chooses to pull only pints, it would seem. I think I need to take a more sophisticated line with her in future, which would include me making sure that I didn't try talking to her whilst my gob was fully stuffed with Walkers cheese and onion.
She was secretly impressed that I could fit so much in there though. I could tell, as after she'd patted off the crumbs and spray from her blouse, she gave me a little smile.
Or was it a grimace?
Brother in law (a butcher at the doncaster markets) went to Cornwall for the weekend with girlfriend.
They took pushbikes.
Riding down slowly along a wide footpath they were accosted by a "gentleman" who suggested in no uncertain terms they not ride on the footpath. Some harsh words were exchanged. When BIL moved to go past this "gentleman" he laid hands on the girlfriends bike.
Said gentleman very quickly found himself thrown bodily on his back into a bush on the other side of the footpath. (He's not a little man my BIL)
Now comes the "they're never around when you want 'em" section.
At that very moment who should come cruising around the corner? Non other than the Old Bill.
BIL was arrested, printed, DNA'd and spent much of the interview time discussing house prices in Australia with the duty sergent.
Cautioned and allowed to leave.
What a weekend.
Oh and he and his boss are nude in the Donny markets new calender.
smorgs wrote:I'm not loafing!
x
Well pet, I feel sorry for you, having to work on such a glorious sunny morn. Why not take a sickie and come and watch Richard and Judy with me? It's dead exciting!
I think a fry up and a newspaper is in order. There's a Turkish cafe nearby that takes some beating in the grease stakes. Followed my a midday snooze.
It's a good life.
dadpad wrote:
Oh and he and his boss are nude in the Donny markets new calender.
Seems a bit harsh on the boss, as he wasn't even involved in the kerfuffle.
Over here they'd have got a day in the stocks, so we could throw cabbages at them.
Doowop
erm thats Doncaster England (near Manchester).
No stocks and no cabbage were canvassed as part of the warning.
dadpad wrote:Brother in law (a butcher at the doncaster markets) went to Cornwall for the weekend with girlfriend.
They took pushbikes.
Riding down slowly along a wide footpath they were accosted by a "gentleman" who suggested in no uncertain terms they not ride on the footpath. Some harsh words were exchanged. When BIL moved to go past this "gentleman" he laid hands on the girlfriends bike.
Said gentleman very quickly found himself thrown bodily on his back into a bush on the other side of the footpath. (He's not a little man my BIL)
Now comes the "they're never around when you want 'em" section.
At that very moment who should come cruising around the corner? Non other than the Old Bill.
BIL was arrested, printed, DNA'd and spent much of the interview time discussing house prices in Australia with the duty sergent.
Cautioned and allowed to leave.
What a weekend.
Oh and he and his boss are nude in the Donny markets new calender.
Sorry to hear this. Where abouts exactly...I should have been at St Columb Major last week...with bikes.
(it is illegal to ride on the footpath btw. But I have sympathy. Cyclists in UK are often faced with a simple choice of riding illegally on the path or getting killed on the road)
dadpad wrote:erm thats Doncaster England (near Manchester).
I know a Doncaster near Sheffield (South Yorkshire [West Riding]), but near Manchester ...?
Didn't know you had an Aunt Fanny, Muckty?
Have you an Uncle Bob as well?
Just seen Bez from the Happy Mondays strolling through Chorlton precinct.
I'd love to take you up on your offer, Doowop, but I'm busy finding jobs for the unemployed.
I've got one here for a male 'Escort', d'ya think sussy would be interested?
x
smorgs wrote:
I'd love to take you up on your offer, Doowop, but I'm busy finding jobs for the unemployed.
I've got one here for a male 'Escort', d'ya think sussy would be interested?
x
I think he may be up for it. Deuce Spendolo, male.....
..what rhymes with spendolo?
What me? In public? Making conversation?
With a woman? Good grief!!!
It's good money!
All you have to do is take a lady out, show her a good time...
...and then shag 'er!
What's so hard about that?
But remember to do some foreplay, otherwise she may ask for a refund, you can't just go in for the kill you know.
And WASH your hair!
Bit of Brut...
You're laffin'.
And a whole £2.50.
x
I was reading about a very kind lady from Middlesborough, who's offering hand relief at 90p a shot. She calls it her loss leader, and is doing a roaring trade.
Apparently, all the other working girls in the area are not very happy.
I think there may be some money to be made in this, so maybe I should jump on the bandwagon and provide a similar service for the ladies. I'd even drop down to 75p if they asked me nicely.
...sure it's not a toss leader?
x
I've got 45p in my purse (payday Weds)
What'll that get me?
x
