A valediction

Jamezun, WELCOME to A2K. If your poem reflects your mental state, do something that usually brings you joy. Go climb a mountain, boat on a lake, see some birds sing, or go see a joyful movie. Turn off the t.v., read a book (even comics), or go visit a friend. c.i.

Hi Jamezun,
This sounds like the song of someone too afraid to take the actions nessicary to break free, and drowns in sorrow instead. I wonder about your first line, are you being literal or figurative? I would remove the "I" in the second line, we know its you and the syllable is holding up the flow of the line. Just trying to be helpful, I can be thick when it comes to poetry! Thank you of sharing this.