I have a newt named Tiny.

In Oz that would be because he's a big bugger.

'Cos he resembles your willy?

Wouldn't I have named him Willy, then?

Re: I have a newt named Tiny.


Because you have two small daughters, which alters your brain chemistry in subtle but profound ways? (Good, though, all of them good.)

Re: I have a newt named Tiny.


Is he smaller than you?
If he is smaller then maybe thats why you called him Tiny.

Newt Gingrich

Re: I have a newt named Tiny.

Yes, he is smaller than me but that is not what made me choose the name.

You call him tiny because he is small, so small in fact; he is my newt (Minute)

We need a cigar icon.

My thanks to Material Girl for the answer

I think MG and I were on the same wavelength. :wink:

A naked Lord walks into a down town Doitwitch bar with a pair of jumper cables wrapped around his neck and orders a Scotch and soda. The bar-keep says, "O.K., but…..

...don't start anything...(?)

Tai Chi walks into a bar with a giraffe and she says, "A beer for me, and one for my giraffe." They stand around drinking for hours until finally the giraffe passes out on the floor. Tai Chi pays the tab and gets up to leave. "Hey! You're not going to leave that lyin' on the floor, are you?"

Tai Chi replies"…..

"That's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"

My brain is letting me down; cannot think of one "Man walks in to bar" joke; maybe a drink would help...

Man walks into a bar.
Says "Ouch!"

.......Ok, but I'll have to charge you.

Man walks into a bar and orders a pint and a packet of peanuts.

He pays, takes the pint and downs it in one, puts the packet of peanuts on his head and walks out.

Barman looks quizzical.

Next night the same thing...puts the peanuts on his head and walks out.

Third night and the barman's waiting for him, curious as hell.

"Pint of beer and a packet of peanuts, please"

The barman pours the pint, goes to get the peanuts and finds they've sold out. He looks at the guy and says"We've only got cashews"

"OK" says the guy "They'll do"

He drinks the pint, puts the cashews on his head and goes to walk out.

"Wait a minute" says the barman "You have to tell me, as it's been driving me mad. Why have you put that packet of cashews on your head?"







"'Cos you've got no peanuts" says the man.