How I Learned to Hate Racism
by Robert J. Ruhf
Email me at
[email protected]
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"How can you like the feeling of hatred in your blood?
What is it you're concealing underneath that hood?
Whether its religion or the color of the skin,
No matter what the reason, can't you see that your hatred is a sin?
And I am not deceived by the prayers I hear you pray
And I can't help believe that you'll not escape the Judgement Day."
--from "Hand Me Down Hate" by Raspberry Jam, 1993 Metro-One Records. Used with permission.
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The following story/essay briefly describes the most influential experiences I had as a child (from the age of 5 to the age of 18) that taught me to hate bigotry and racial intolerance. The names of people have been changed in order to respect their privacy.
(1) How my parents influenced my views (1970):
I was five years old when my older sister and I started saying, "Eeny meanie miny moe. Catch a nigger by his toe. If he hollers let him go. Eeny meanie miny moe." We didn't know what "nigger" meant. As far as we knew, the word was just a small part of a rhyme that we heard other kids saying.
We said the rhyme in front of my parents one night.
"You shouldn't be saying that word," my mom said when she heard us say "nigger."
"Why?" I asked. "Is it a 'naughty' word?"
"Yes," my mom and dad said.
"Oh, okay," I said. I then said to my older sister, "We should find something else to say. How about 'cookie.'" So she and I started saying, "Eeny meanie miny moe, catch a cookie by its toe. If it hollers let it go, Eeny meanie miny moe." We said it this way for years.
A week after mom and dad told us not to use the word, I became very curious about why the word was so bad. I walked up to my dad and asked, "Dad, why is 'nigger' a naughty word?"
"Over a hundred years ago, black people were slaves," my dad explained. "The word 'nigger' was what black people were called when they were slaves."
My five year old mind was very moved by this. I thought very deeply about the idea of people being slaves, and I imagined what it must have been like. It scared me, and I thought to myself, "I wouldn't want to be a slave!" I had a very hard time believing that there was actually slavery at one time. I found the idea terrifying and horrible. I instantly understood why the word was so "naughty," and I very quickly learned to hate it. I decided that I would never use that word again. This word would become the most offensive word to me, probably because of the impact that my dad's explanation had on me at such a young age. As I look back, I am very impressed by the sensitive way that my dad explained it to me.
(2) How television influenced my views (some time in the 1970's):
I grew up watching the program "All in the Family." There was one particular episode that hit me harder than any other. The episode began with Archie Bunker opening his front door and finding a swastika painted on the outside of the door. A group of violent racists had mistaken Archie's house for the home of a Jewish man who lived up the street. The second half of the episode focused primarily on a conversation between Archie and a Jewish man. The conversation took place in Archie's living room. Edith, "Meathead," and Gloria were also in the conversation. Near the end of the episode, the word came that the terrorists realized that they had the wrong house, and that the terrorists were now planning to attack the Jewish man who lived up the street. The Jewish man who was talking to Archie in Archie's living room walked out of the house. Gloria, "Meathead," Archie, and Edith then had a brief conversation that turned out to be the calm before the storm. Suddenly there was an extremely loud boom, as if an explosion had occurred. Archie, Gloria, Edith, and "Meathead" ran to the front door, and Archie swung the door open. The last part of the episode showed all four of them staring out the door with expressions of extreme shock and horror on their faces. Archie said in a soft, horrified voice, "Holy, Geez! They blew him up in his car!" A shudder went through my body as I literally shook with shock and horror. There was no typical audience applause that was common to the show. There was only a few seconds of total silence as the four of them stared in pure horror. The scene faded to black. I was quite shaken up by this episode. I was in shock, and I stared motionless at the TV for two minutes after the scene faded to black. I had heard of this sort of thing happening, and I knew that it was a reality. I started to move again after about two minutes, but I thought about this episode for a long time. The episode helped me to see how extreme and radical the hatred of people could actually be. [Note: I finally saw this episode again on Nick at Night (the Nickelodeon cable network) on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 at 12:30 A.M. It was the first time that I had seen the episode since I was a child. The episode still left me chilled.]
I continued to watch "All in the Family," and it was one of the most dramatic influences on my views about racism. The show often oversimplified complex issues with its liberal bias, but it rightly addressed the problem of racism and it made a difference in my life. (Note: Carroll O'Connor, who played Archie Bunker, died of a heart attack at the age of 76 on June 21, 2001
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okay, I'm
verklempt; please discuss the above amongst yourselves, okay?