Neglect or abuse?

I have to say that I was surprised to learn that aidan is a teacher. She seems so idealistic and to have faith in the current jargon. While I like to get along with the students and while I get over my anger quickly, I do not believe this lack of self esteem excuse that is so popular in the mass media.

I do not believe this Peruvian girl lacks self esteem. I ran the idea by a two of her other teachers who laughed. They feel she has too much misplaced self-esteem. Her primping and her sleeping in the classroom have driven everyone up the wall.

My parents never read books to me, and I read at high school level by 4th or 5th grade.

My father never picked up a book, and openly showed disgust for people who wasted their time reading. my mother occassionally read the jokes in a Readers Digest, or some sappy romance. Meanwhile I read the Bronte sisters and Voltaire.

I guess I just have a problem with the word "blame"

We can always find someone to blame for something. The thing is, what are we going to doing about "those" people? Shoot them?

Why not place our efforts on attracting those who don't currently read, by perhaps presenting different subjects of interest? That would go a lot farther than taking the easy road of place blame and calling it out of our hands.

In the case of this kid, I suppose I could find a book about the Bloods or the Krypts.

However, finding things that interest them is, to some extent, pandering to them. There have been law suits, waged unsuccessfully, by SPED kids who went through school with armloads of "accomodations." They expected to be accomodated on the job but were fired. Their suits -- to date -- have been dismissed.

BY 16, it should be clear to teachers that there is a problem somewhere, and if it has been established that the problem lies at home, then some of the accountibility lies on the shoulders of the teachers who push her forward without basic reading skills.
I have come to learn that parents can be like cockroaches in that they too can reproduce offspring. That feat alone says nothing of the quality of offspring you produce.

I am never a fan of blaming teachers, but I have found myself in the very same position with a grade 9 girl. I look to the parents, and the teachers. Both have failed her equally, so it is my mission for '06-'07 to make up some ground with her.

I've made a conscious choice to hang on to my idealism. Seriously, it's the only way I've been able to continue in a profession I love with any amount of professional satisfaction for twenty years.
And I have to say that I see just as much disdain and lack of effort displayed by administrators (and some burnt out teachers) who are looking at the bottom line instead of the needs of every student, as I do displayed by the kids who are not willing to put effort into their studies.
So I wouldn't know where to accurately place the blame. But I don't see that as productive. I think Chai and candid1 are right - other people will do what they see fit to do - I can't really control that. I can only control what I do.

It has nothing to do with jargon. It has everything to do with the fact that I was once a sixteen year old girl. I try to remember what it was like, and give other sixteen year olds the benefit of the doubt. I'm glad I had teachers who were willing to do it for me - so I just try to return the favor.

Maybe you were lucky enough not to have experienced how crippling a lack of self-esteem can be. I was always a good student because I like learning - so I didn't suffer from lack of self-esteem there. But I was a very shy child and adolescent - due to lack of self-esteem. I felt frozen and crippled by it in social situations in which I was not surrounded by people who I knew understood and accepted me.
If you've never experienced it - I can't describe it. But if this girl is sixteen and can't read - you can believe she is suffering in some way.
And that in turn will have some sort of effect on her behavior.

POM - why does someone primp? They constantly primp and look in mirrors because they are insecure about their looks- or if that's not true and she is secure in how she looks - maybe that's all she feels she has going for her and has to constantly reassure herself about what she might feel is her only asset.
In terms of the sleeping - is she depressed?

Why did you feel it necessary to mention that she's Peruvian? I have ideas about how or why this might impact her situation, but I'm curious to know how or why you do, or if you think it does.

Finally - candidone is right - it's inexcusable that she's been passed through school without learning to read. Her parents didn't do that - she didn't do that - the school has to take some responsibility.
(I won't say teachers because I know that is most often an administrative decision, despite what the teacher's input might be).

Because the television is lulling, I have often tuned into Judge Judy and Dr. Phil in the afternoon when I need to nap but still need something to push me over the edge.

As disimiliar at those two programs may seem, they actually feature people who complain that a lack of self esteem ruined their lives. B---$hit. Those people are brimming over with self esteem.

Just came from a party at HArvard where I talked with the wife of a former prof. She started a program of volunteers who read to kids. Too many parents fail to read to their kids and doom them to a life of misery.

Update: as a SPED teacher, I have an endless amount of reports to write, most of which are repetitive and unnecessary. When I sent the last of these reports home to the parents of the above mentioned student, the mother -- whose English is much better than she lets on -- and her little I-wanna-be-a-gang-moll daughter, who was allegedly ill and not in school that day -- literally invaded my classroom.

The mother demanded to know why I send these things to her. Because I am supposed to, I answered.

No one ever did before. Well, she was in SPED before. (Maybe, she intercepted those letters, I thought.) I answered that maybe the other teachers failed to do their jobs.

Anyway, mother is quite aggressive, quite low class and quite a rhymes with rich.

As all the teachers are tired of the daughter talking constantly about her boyfriend and writing, "LIZZ AND JUNIOR," or "LIZZBABY AND JAY-JAY" all over her papers, I wrote that too much attention to this boyfriend is creating a distraction.

The mother said there is no boyfriend.

I asked the girl whether he is an imaginary friend. After all, the Everett school system did send her to a shrink. Maybe she is delusional or maybe mom is completely in the dark.