Too late, it's already weird

So, what'd Jill do?


<you're all so nice...>

I would be weirded out if I encountered the same thing. I mean, what do you say. No thank you or sure, that would be nice. Maybe things are different depending on what part of the country your in. It seems like the Pacific Northwest is pretty liberal. Sure I see the guys in suits on bikes now and then but it seems like the people I have encountered are pretty accepting of peoples personal choices.
I work with a Jewish guy who has asked me questions about christianity just out of curiosity and I've shared what I believe and I've asked him questions about his religous beliefs. Its more curiosity about traditions and ceremonies than why do we believe the way we do. And then there is another co-worker is is very outspoken about her disbelief in religion and has more or less called us fools for believing in what we do.
I just like people who believe in good and are nice, it doesn't matter much to me what there religious background is. I just don't want anyone to force feed me their attempts to change me.

Would Jill have preferred indifference from Angie. If so why did she introduce her concerns into the conversation? If Angie were to have pressed the issue that would indeed be off putting. However if she didn't I see no cause for concern.

Intolerance for "different" behavior takes many forms and is a characteristic of the behavior of most groups of human beings, religious or otherwise. The concerns you express for it reflect what is in fact a two way street.

I am a Buddhist. I'm sure some people would get weirded out if I asked them to come chant with me. Though sometimes I do...

Inviting yourself to someone's room, someone you don't know, to pray over them, is by definition invasive.

I'm not against praying for someone, used to do it a lot. It's the panorama of praying drama that has a using aspect hanging on to it, as if the person is glad to have a new victim to win grace by.

Why did Jill tell this person? Well, gee, just in ordinary conversation.

I'm an agnostic.

I've been prayed for by people whom I like and respect as well as people who strike me as damn fools.

To the best of my knowledge, I haven't been harmed by prayer.

In times of family crisis--and I'm a veteran of many family crises--I've wished that I could believe in prayer so that I could send the most obstreperous family members off to the church and out of the way.

osso....I think you would have loved being in on this conversation. Like I said, Jill and I get along really well, even though we're not in the same division anymore, we email each other regularly to bounce ideas off each other. When Jill told me this story, we were both lying in bed facing each other, like a slumber party. She tells me the come to my room part, and we just stared at each other for like 20 seconds, then both rolled on our backs with a groan.

What happened was at that point a miracle occured. Someone else walked up to them at that point and the conversation shifted, and never went back.

marty...yeah, that's what I'm thinking...you say No Thanks and even if the other person drops it, there's now this "thing" between you. Like I said, you're now suspect you didn't want to sit in hotel room and pray with someone...what's wrong with you? On the other hand if you say sure, that'd be nice, well, now you find yourself sitting in a hotel room, praying with someone.
Oh yeah, I'm interested in finding out about various beliefs, because I'm a very curious person. I might even discuss mine if the situation was appropriate, but a business trip is not that time.

georgeob1 - Since I'm not Jill, I don't know what she would have preferred. However, there are a few billion light years between indifference and inviting yourself into someone private chambers to pray with them. I do feel safe in saying Jill didn't introduce her concerns in order to illicit prayers, pity or sympathy. Apparantly they were talking about their kid(s) and what they were doing, and this is what was happening with Jill's kid. This was over lunch, so the conversation wasn't business oriented. Also, knowing Jill, she's a really strong person, and if, for instance, she was telling me about her son, she wouldn't have been tearful or wringing her hands, or asking advice. She doesn't come across as anyone who is trying to get someone else to pray for or with her.

Yes, you're correct, it would have been VERY offputting if Angie had pressed this.....However, I find it as offputting that it even came up. I mean, it appeared out of the blue, with no knowledge of what Jill's beliefs are.

As far as intolerance, I don't feel either Jill or I were showing intolerance, and the two of of are on the same page with our beliefs, and we were discussing this alone, we weren't asking Angie to defend her belief in prayer. Now, if we both decided to spread the word that "Angie's a holy roller" and expressing that with distaste, we'd be showing intolerance. I don't know what Angie has said or done since then, but I have had the experience of having others spread the word either about me or third parties that "shhhh.....They're not christians......." with the implication that's a negative....I see that as intolerant, as they are spreading it around.

A2K, being a forum, and names changed to protect the parties discussed, is not a place where I'm pointing fingers.

I truly do hate it when people assume that prayer is ok with everyone.

Though, I know that to a select few, prayer DOES mean something and is a HUGE extension of themselves..

remember.... I said a select few..

I think it is a very rare thing to find a christian person who believes so strongly in prayer, they would bow to their knees before they would do anything to physically change a situation..
(snort)

I on the other hand, not being so tactful as Jill, would have said something along those lines.
People who assume... just get under my skin.
Now, I have had people approach me and were very polite, and said simple things like " If you pray, I would join you!" Or, " I am a christian, and I pray every night, would you like me to add ( blah blah blah) to my prayers?"

Never have I ever had someone promise not to get 'freaky or nothing' on me in my room..
I might be dissappointed.

Ya know, I invited you into my room for something.. Freaky could be the least you do!

( prayer woman) " Can I come to your room and pray? I wont get freaky on ya. "

( Me) - Well thank you but no. Prayer will not keep my son from being hurt. What will do it is a perky doctor who is really on the ball with the procedure, a nurse who hands out the correct meds, and a team of people behind them to keep an eye on my boy while he recovers. If you would like to help them, he is going to Seton Southwest. Their number is 512-208-7291 "

he he

LOL!!!

Gawd, how I love you, Noddy. That was too funny! Fitting stuff for a sig line.

Some can pray for me, and it's just fine. Others annoy me, depending on circumstance. I understand that they mean well.

Speaking of fanatics, many years ago, one of my aunts read a paragraph I wrote in defense of evolution. I was about twenty two years old. From that day, until she died this year, she could not see me without deriding me and screaming at me. I have forgiven her, because she was too stupid to understand what she was doing.

The wife's grandmother used to fix me with a steely glare and ask how long we were going to keep living in sin. I could feel the love.




But in defense of the person who believes that prayer really is the right thing to do, it's perfectly natural to broach the subject, to extend the offer. Awkward though it may have been, it may really have been about wanting to help rather than wanting to intrude. Some people just don't know the difference. And maybe some of the rest of us are resistant to aid and to honest intentions.

So long as they don't come to my house and get the dogs all riled up. Sometime the dogs are going to beat me out the door, and we'll see how good with god the door-knockers are.

Well, I'm of two minds here ....

On the one hand, Jill had some anxiety and Angie, as a friend, offered her some comfort in the way that Angie knew best. Not so terrible a thing.

On the other hand, it freaks me out on how aggressive religion is in American daily life. Maybe it happens here too, without my knowledge, but I just can't imagine one Canadian offering to pray with another (or one condemning another for choice or non-choice of religious establishment) without the offeree either:

a/ falling down laughing, or
b/ calling 911

That's very true pdog.

gauche doesn't just apply to wearing white after Labor Day.

You know, that's why I stop washing my underwear in late July.

You could always pry to the orange road cones, I find it has equally good results.

Squinney--

Thanks for the kind words.

I just want to know why you're getting roomates on business trips? Doesn't your company pay for the hotel?

Me too. My mother is all churchified but gave up on us boys when we were teens.

Why do people need to ask permission to prey?

Its kind of like saying "I want you to know how good I am"

If you feel the need to prey, if it makes you feel good to do that, then just do it.