Respect

I try, I really do. I sometimes slip up though.....

truth
I'd much rather suffer being attacked than bear the guilt and shame of having humiliated someone unjustly. Very often PC stands for personal courtesy.

yay to JL!

shepaints- Exactly right!

I agree! Guess I should have noted that.

When I was corrected yesterday -- it definitely was not "too much." I deserved to be corrected -- and I'm glad it happened.

so what to do when someone clearly is being rude/deliberately rude/deliberately provocative?

everyone sucks it up/ignores the poster/prays/hopes they will go away?

that doesn't seem to work either.

Name it?

I think it's the thing to do, but I also know I won't do it here.

The whole respect thing is tricky. I would want to comment on specific actions, not personas, but often the idea of teasing that out/phrasing it just right is simply too fatiguing. So I go back to ignoring, which has major frustrations.

BTW -- I think we all have to recognize that sometimes the substance of what you have to say is such that people to whom you are saying it are going to be offended -- whether the remark is meant to offend -- or merely to share information.

I discuss religion a lot.

There are times where I am sharing my opinion of the god described in the Bible. (It is not a very favorable opinion!)

How do I share what I truly feel without offending?

Should sharing what one truly feels be considered a lack of respect?

I realize that some folks, some of the time like the ‘rush’ and excitement of a heated exchange. That’s fine as long as others are willing and know what’s happening which isn’t always the case.

It’s up to each of us whether to “take the hook” or “bate the hook” and/or engage in that manner.

And I do think the size of ones ego can be indicated by how much their hair stands on end when insulted, attacked or in a disagreement. And it can be a bit of a shock.

But engaging is always a choice, even if a conditioned choice.

Er, yeah, by that definition I'd be impoverished, and am, um, rather far from it at the moment...

Some people have skills in baiting. c.i.

It might facilitate some folks here ( maybe the whole community) if there was a "rant corner", which would be a place to go to let out any anger.

e.g. So and so said 'this' on 'this' thread. What jerk, what an asshole, etc.etc.

That way, disagreements that get nasty on threads would not highjack that thread with those side issues but would be taken to the appropriate place, the "rant corner" or "barbecue pit" whatever it might be called........

Anybody see Rodney Dangerfield lately? c .i.

I tell you, I get no respect at all. Last week, my wife told me we needed to hire a pool boy. We don't even have a pool!

Hmmmmmm....

and just last week my wife told me she was leaving me to go live with the pool girl she hired to clean the pool we never had. (she even woke me up to say goodbye)

Good question. But it ignores many factors like:

There is rarely only one person being rude. What normally happens is two (or more) people being rude and all parties insisting that either they wern't rude or that they didn't start it.



Eventually (I'm thinking around Christmas time) there will be a "ignore user" feature and possibly other technical features.

No need to pull punches at all.

If you want to say God is a stupid insipid intellectually bankrupt construct many would be offended. But that is decidedly within the TOS.

Now if you append "and you are dumbass for believeing in it" then you would have breached the TOS.

It may seem like a silly way to define things but try to differentiate ad hominems from simply passionate debate and you'll see why it's a useful criteria.

It's indeed very possible to be quite an ass without breaking the TOS. But there are certain things that have little in way of "grey area" like obvious flaming that involves vulgar insults.

With sarcasm and such it's possible to be quite mean. But quantifying that is simply not easy. It's very easy to say don't call each otehr assholes and those types of things are more likely to draw attention.

A simple rule for those who want to debate passionately (here's my secret to being an ass):

Focus on the arguments. Attack them and stomp them into the ground. But avoid directing your passion at your opponent.

"That is the stupidest argument on earth"

IS different from

"You are the stupidest person on earth"

Both are treated VERY differently by the moderating team.

Craven

Your remarks have been noted -- and I will try my best to remember them when I am in one of my snits.

I thank you for them. You made lots of sense.